The Writing´s on the Wall

"Fuck the Police". These 3 words can be found everywhere in these madhouses. Fuck the police, scribed on the walls, fuck the police, scratched into the desks, fuck the police, carved into the bunks, fuck the police, etched into the doors, etched into our minds. Fuck those slimy, greasy bastards, fuck them pigs.

That is the first commandment that we live by in here, the golden rule, as we live in these volatile situations, hostility towards our captors is the fuel that keeps us going. The correctional officers are the police, they work for the system, the government, so they're pigs too. The rats, the snitches, the informants and the inmates on protective custody, they are the police too. They work for the man, cooperating and operating against other prisoners, though they are prisoners themselves. In this world, that makes them the biggest pieces of shit around these shit-filled sewers. Not even the pigs respect them, they're cowards, and they are the police too, so fuck them.

This is prison, this isn't Disneyland. People aren't playing, not everybody is friendly around here, there are some people around here who would stick some steel in your neck, without blinking an eye, then go walk back to the table, sit down and eat their meal, or your meal, like nothing happened. This is prison.

Fuck the system, that's what we say when we pray, cuz that's what we feel in our hearts. We know this ain't right, we know it's foul, we know we're being screwed, cheated, manipulated and deceived. We know it in our hearts. Fuck the system.

We live with so much hostility in our hearts, it's what motivates us to stay alive, but it's a double-edged sword as we continue on the path of SELF-DESTRUCTION cuz we do not truly understand how we can actually rise above this madness, we do not truly comprehend how we can escape these chains and live truthfully.

All we know is piracy, banditry, hoodlumism, thuggery, and gangsterism, that's all we know as we sit here and say fuck the system. We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we organize ourselves in here? We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we elevate ourselves in here? We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we live truthfully, how can we get free and rise above this oppression? We don't think about these things, because we don't see the possibility of these things, as we are blinded by our own ignorance and blinded by our own violence towards one another, we can't see past our own futile situations, all we know is that we have to survive, so we don't get cheated or shorted or knocked off by the next motherfucker.

But the writings on the wall, for those who want to read it, it's right there, etched, sketched, scratched, scribed, carved or written, it's right there. Three words, fuck the police, it's right there, written on the wall, desk, bunk, ceiling, floor, it's right there.

EI Coyote

The Eagle and the Sow

An eagle built a nest on a tree, and hatched out some eaglets, and a wild sow brought her litter under the tree, and the sow rooted around the tree and hunted in the woods, and when night came she would bring her young something to eat. And the eagle and the sow lived in neighborly fashion.

And a grimalkin laid her plans to destroy the eaglets and the little sucking pigs. She went to the eagle and said: "Eagle you had better not fly very far away. Beware of the sow, she is planning an evil design. She is going to undermine the roots of the tree. You see she is rooting all the time."

Then the grimalkin went to the sow and said: "Sow, you have not a good neighbor. Last evening I heard the eagle saying to her eaglets: "My dear little eaglets, I am going to treat you to a nice little pig. Just as the sow is gone, I will bring you a little young sucking pig!"

From that time the eagle ceased to fly out after prey, and the sow did not go any more into the forest. The eaglets and the young pigs perished of starvation, and the grimalkin feasted on them.

Fables,

Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910

Beware of the Grimalkin

True seekers of knowledge would probably appreciate the fact that there is a lot of' wisdom and knowledge to be found in fables. Practically every culture has their own fables, there is so much that can be learned from fables, things like strategy, wisdom, practical ways of living, counsel and instructions on various themes of life. How could one not appreciate a good fable every now and then right? So, I wanted to share this particular fable with you, because there's a lot of truth in it, truth that applies to our everyday situation as prisoners.

The strategy of the grimalkin in this fable is very similar to that of the "Divide and Conquer" strategy that our oppressors use on us today. When we become mistrustful of each other, when we fight each other and kill each other, we are giving our oppressor (the grimalkin) - our true enemy - absolute power over us. As long as we are going at it with each other, they don't have to worry about us trying to rise up against them.

How can we be each other’s enemy when we are in the same communities, prisons and in the trenches together, going through the same shit, suffering from the same type of poverty and the same afflictions together? No, brothers and sisters, we are not each other’s enemies, we need to stop hating each other and come to realize that it's the grimalkin who is profiting off of our self-destructive behavior, the grimalkin is our true enemy.

The sooner we realize this the sooner we will be able to reach some type of middle-ground between us and eventually we can try to come together and run the grimalkin down. There's a couple lessons that can be learned from this fable of the "Eagle and the Sow." But one of the most important one is one of the oldest, "Know your Enemy."

Coyote, 2006

Ely State Prison

Dear Mr. Correctional Officer

AII I want is what I got coming and for you to leave me alone. There's no need to stop at my cell and ask me how am I doing today, you don't care how I'm doing, you don't really want to know how I'm doing, you only ask to see what kind of state of mind I'm in, if I'm on some "fuck the police shit", or if I'm safe for you to be around, that's the only reason you ask how I'm doing today, to make sure you're safe, not cuz you actually care, so don't even ask. No need to stand at my door smiling, being nice, trying to hold a fake ass conversation with me about this, that or the other, if I need something I’ll let you know, if not just give me my meal, or my mail or whatever and move on.

I don't want your little extras, the last thing I want is to be spoiled by the pigs, so you can keep your little extra this and your little extra that, take it and give it to one of your little rats. I don't want it, I don't need it, just give me my full issue of what I'm supposed to get and roll on to the next cell. Just leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone, but if you go out of your way to mess with me, then I'm going to go out of my way to mess with you. And this is going to be an unsafe environment for both of us.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

In Solitude I Suffer

Though I am loved, I am alone, left to sit and suffer in a cold, desolate cell of confinement. On the other side of these prison gates I have many people who love and care about me, who are touched by my courage and compassion, and who are moved by my love for them and by my love for life, freedom, and justice. The sad reality, though, is that they're out there and I'm in here, alone ....

I am surrounded by people who like to think that they're my enemies, surrounded by foulness and perversion, and blanketed by sheer coldness. I have no friends, just a few people that I talk to from time to time, people who share no true feelings of connectedness with me; their conversations might be good sometimes, and comforting, but there's no camaraderie between us. People in here will talk to you one day and then decide that they don't want to talk to you ever again; that's just the way it goes in here. It's something that a prisoner has to deal with, knowing that the only person in here that you can truly depend on is yourself.

We have to find ways to deal with this loneliness so it doesn't take us under.

Overcoming loneliness is a huge part of survival in prison. Loneliness is painful. It's agonizing to my soul. To know that I could be in here, in this world, with other people around me, in cells next to me, above or below me, and still feel unconnected to anyone, and still feel like I don't really know someone, or that nobody really understands me, and to feel like I cannot truly trust another man in here - it defines the feeling of suffering. To be alone is to suffer.

In solitude I suffer. My heart dies, my blood turns cold and the spark of life leaves my eyes; when you look into them now all you can see is anger, pain, loneliness, and suffering, and all I can do is sit here and ask myself, what have I done to deserve this? What did I do to have to be forced to live in such torment?

For I know in my heart of hearts that I'm a good man. I know in my heart that I live by the principles of righteousness, respect, honor, integrity, fairness, equality; and I know that I am a man who has stood up for my beliefs and who has stood up for my rights, and who has also been beaten down for standing up for them. But still I am left to live in solitude, like I am some kind of piece of shit or something.

In prison that' s the price we have to pay for being a man who stands up for himself and for what he believes is good and right. We have to pay for that by sitting and suffering in solitary confinement until the authorities feel that they have broken you down. They try to break your will, break your spirit and your determination, and they try to destroy you. The things that we see as good and the things that we see as being right are the things that we are being punished for.

I sit here in solitude, feeling so alone. Tormented by my loneliness, and even though another man lives in the cell to my right, and another man lives in the cell to my left, and a man lives in the cell right above me, I feel no connection with any of them; there's no trust between us and absolutely no sense of camaraderie, and it kills me inside.

I understand that all of this is by design, and I want to be strong, I want to resist, I want to overcome, because I know I can't give in, I know I can't surrender, I know I can't let my oppressors break me; but deep down inside I know that no matter what I do, I cannot win, for either way they are slowly destroying me; whether I fight or surrender, they have already won. But I just can't give them the satisfaction in letting them know that they've destroyed me with loneliness, so I continue to fight and I continue to resist, because anything less would be suicidal ....

From the depths of my restless soul,

Coyote

Ely State Prison, Nevada October 25, 2007

Free Your Mind

Let us abandon our restrictions and live freely from the truth of our hearts. Let us love life as we love our children, and let us love our children as we love life.

The walls of these prisons can only keep our bodies contained for so long, but cannot close in on our minds when we live with resistance in our hearts. I encourage you who read this to learn how to think for yourselves.

In these cells of seclusion we learn to embrace knowledge in its rawest form and when you have become accustomed to embrace what is real and what is true, you naturally reject all that is false and untrue.

Let us abandon our falsehoods as we embrace knowledge and let us share our knowledge to those in need of it, so that the mind of the prisoner can abandon his shackles once for always.

The seeds of resistance have been planted in the soul of the prisoners' heart and bears fruit in the prisoners' mind. Consciousness is forever sweet and so full of soul. It should always be shared and enjoyed. Hold on to it, but pass it on ...

No love for authority,

Coyote

June 4th, 2008

On Heart

Resistance is in my heart and it stays in my heart. As humans we grow, we develop and we change, but some things never change. Resistance has always been in my heart and always will be. The things that are in our hearts are the things that keep us going, what's in your heart stays in your heart, unless you lose your heart, and if you lose your heart you pretty much die. Your heart is like your lifeline, when you lose your heart you lose your life. I take this literally, 'cuz I'm a soldier and I know what's in my heart, and what keeps it going. It's not hate, it's love. love tor yourself, love for life, love for freedom, justice and equality. My resistance comes from love, not hate, and it's what keeps me going, it's what is in my heart. Love, resistance, truth.

From the depths of my lawless heart,

Coyote

Ely State Prison 2008