COYOTE CALLING

Thrown to the Wolves

2011-11-21T01:26:00.000-08:00

By: Coyote

“It is imperative to distinguish carefully between the rhythms of flourishing and the rhythms of decline in every single thing.”

- - Myyamoto Musashi

Devastation sets deep in my aching heart as I continuously see all of these young faces coming through these decrepit doors of prison madness; 15- and 16-year-olds, and sometimes younger. With no true guidance and no true leadership, they are locked up and thrown to the wolves, learning quickly to fend for themselves, follow others, or fall off, and got lost in a dark, dreary world of misery, anguish and pain. They look for strength, knowledge and counsel in their older homeboys, but it doesn’t take long for them to realize that all of these years most of their older homeboys have been in these dungeons wasting away, deteriorating, on some straight nonsense, not really trying to do anything useful or productive with their time.

Many of these older cats have neglected to take true strides to better themselves, or to elevate their positions in life, let alone their thinking… And so, therefore they really don’t have nothing good to say, or to give these youngsters, and so a lot of these youngsters are coming through here, and they see this and many of these youngsters – the ones with any sense, that is – quickly begin to lose respect for these so-called O.G.’s and they start to look at them differently, and usually with a disdainful eye.

The ones that don’t have much sense, that’s a different story… They don’t know any better, and don’t have anyone to show them or to teach them, so they get caught up in all of the madness and degeneration, and usually they end up becoming degenerates themselves, and that’s all bad.

Yet, amazingly, I often come across many sharp youngsters in here, who have been eager to learn and to really take their thinking and their lives to a new level, and I’m always impressed at how sharp some of these youngsters are, and yet a bit saddened whenever they confide in me that they wish their older homeboys were more on point, sharper, brighter and more on top of their game when it comes to passing down strong, useful knowledge. They talk about how they wish their older homeboys would take the time to give them literature or put a book in their hand, discussing real shit with them and trying to teach the, something new, or something with true significance and applicable value. I once asked one of these youngsters – whom I couldn’t help but notice was extremely sharp and really on top of his game for only being 21 years old – what does he look for when he needs someone with an “O.G.” Status? And this is what the little dude told me:

“When I meet someone with an “O.G.” status I look for someone who carries themselves in a manner that one can look up to, I feel he’s supposed to be able to teach you things and show you things you need to know of what’s to come in this lifestyle; he should give you the history of what you represent and why certain things are the way they are, he should encourage you to educate yourself and push you to want to be something better in life, and as a person, he should be a rider “still”, he should want to help you and not just use you, he should teach you about war and what’s worth and not worth going to war over; he should help build you up and make sure you stay the best you can be… I had an “O.G.” homie who once made me read a dictionary because he said I said “cuzz” too much and I needed to expand my vocabulary. An “O.G.” should always want to see you do something with yourself and not just always want to see you in some bullshit in the name of “da set”… “

These are words coming from a young warrior that I quickly became very fond of, and I assure you that his words are definitely a reflection of precisely how many of these youngsters feel, as they can’t help but notice the evident deterioration around here and the lack of true leadership from many of their so-called o.g.’s.

Me and this youngster had a couple of good sessions, I taught him the difference between Honor and Dignity, I passed him some good literature to read and we chopped it up about that, I helped him write an article about the psychological warfare tactics that these pigs use on us in here. His writing skills were already on point, and he wrote the whole article by himself, actually, I just gave him some advice on how to tighten it up a little and he took my advice and redrafted it and it came out hella good.

I told him what he said about what he looks for in someone with an “O.G.” status was definitely on point, but not to forget to look at things from both sides and also realize that there’s a lot of youngsters who come through here who think they know it all and who you just can’t tell ‘em shit. He said he knew what I was talking about and that he used to be like that too. The fact that he’s not like that anymore and that he’s eager to learn, tells me a lot about his character and his potential, and it’s youngsters like him that I’m eager to embrace, because I recognize that determination and that fire and strength and that passion that resides inside of them and burns so fiercely in their young warrior hearts. I only had a couple of weeks to kick it with this particular youngster before they moved me to another unit, but I hope the impact I had on him was as strong as the one he had on me.

I don’t look at people in regards of rank, status, or class, as long as they’re solid and they have something good to share, then I’m as much as their pupil as I am their teacher. We each grow and learn and get stronger from each other. This youngster taught me something and showed me lots of things that I’ll never forget, so as far as I’m concerned, he’s as much as a leader as those he refers to as “O.G.’s.”

Since then, I’ve come across many other youngsters like him who wanted to learn and who were looking for realness and truth in their lives, and who also had things to show me, and who have taught me things I’ll never forget… I came across one young, twenty-year-old cat who came up with an acronym to describe some of these older cats around here who just lie around like dead weight. He calls them “Dead P.O.S.S.O.M.S.,” which is an acronym for: Pile of Shit Sorry Old Man. When I look at things through these youngsters’ eyes, I’m surprised at how clearly I can see where they’re coming from, and how right they are about so many things.

I can’t help but to acknowledge the fact that there are a lot of piece of shit individuals in here; I’m talking about people who are foul in character and deed, and who loathe change and despise growth and all they know is to be foul. I avoid people like that, because there’s not much you can do for them, and really nothing they can do for you! It’s the youngsters with the potential, the eagerness to learn and the ones who refuse to stay at the same stage in their lives that I’m always trying to reach. I want them to really be able to see and recognize that the state has thrown them in prison and given them this time, not to help them but to destroy them, and that’s exactly why they have to be strong and wise, and use this as an opportunity for growth and prominent change. I want these youngsters to see and sincerely understand that there’s more to life than “the set;” than to be gangsters, a predator, thug, criminal, etc.

They can still be strong, and they can still be warriors, but I want to encourage them to be strong, sharp warriors so that they can fight the right fights, not the wrong ones.

I tell them that when I came to prison I was 19 years old, I came in with a hardcore gangbang mentality, maxed out on all of my sentences, caught more time in here, and now I’m 33 years old, close to the gate. What the fuck do I look like, 33 years old, getting out of here and going back to the same shit I was doing when I was 18 years old?? That would make absolutely no sense at all… and when I tell them this, they feel me, and they begin to look at their own lives and they start to think about it a little more, and once they begin to understand this, and the true, beastly nature of the State, and once they become aware of the truth behind poverty, oppression and racism and see that the true design of these prisons is to crush us as a classless people, then that’s when they begin to take serious strides to build themselves up as a man and a human being in life, so that they can do good things, make a positive impact and help the youngsters that come after them. And with all of this, I’ve noticed that once these youngsters truly begin to understand that being on some bullshit is only going to lead to more bullshit, they begin to reevaluate their priorities and the course of action that they’re going to take in life, and once they see that the bullshit does not really lead them anywhere good in life, then “change” starts to look like the best thing going!

I’ve noticed that a lot of older cats, especially some of the ones who have been doing time for a long time, think that because they’re older and that they’ve done time longer, that that automatically gives them the right to assume some type of position of seniority over you where they think they can just freely meddle in your affairs, telling you what you should and should not do, talking about “how back in the old days…” and always talking about racial separation and shit like that… and yet, some of the advice these cats try to give, instinctively I know that if I were to follow their advice, I’d have been dead a long time ago! If not in the physical sense, well then, I’d be one of these walking-dead zombies that you see so much of around here, because all of the things that are true to me now, and that I know are right and real, the things that make me who I am, all of these things would fade away, and I’d be nothing, man, I’d be dead inside…

I was living next to some older dude who has been doing time – in and out of prison – since 1983. This is a cat who got out and supposedly robbed all kinds of taxi cabs so that he could use the money to score dope and get high. He got caught and they sentenced him to 50 years! He was willing to trade 50 years of his life just to go out and get high for a couple of months, and now he’s living next to me, and his whole life now consists solely of how he’s going to score his next shot of mud, he does not read, he hasn’t even tried to strive for any real change in the whole 14 years that he’s been down, all he does is gamble, drink coffee, work-out, talk shit and watch the “idiot-box” – all day… and so when he tries to give me all of his advice about “prison life” and all that shit, I kindly tell him, “look man, I’m close to the house, my mind ain’t on none of this bullshit that goes on around here.” So then he switches up his tact and tries to give me advice about the streets, so I had to break it to him as gently as I could, and I told him, “Look, with all due respect, I appreciate what you’re trying to say and all that, but look at you man, you’re somebody who exchanged 50 years of your freedom for a few months of getting high, and now I’m supposed to be listening to you? Don’t you see the irony in that?” Now, maybe if I hadn’t immediately peeped out that he only had ulterior motives for associating with me in the first place, then I might’ve taken more time to pay attention to what he had to say… But I doubt it. Thinking about cats like these reminds me of what my young comrade said about “dead possums”… But the thing to consider is all of the many younger and naïve cats who have come through these doors and have fallen prey to the designs and manipulations of these wolves in sheep’s clothing.

In my opinion, there are indeed a few things from the past that are definitely still worth preserving and handing down to the next generation of “convicts”, but I think there’s also a lot of things from the past that need to be put to rest once and for all. The enforcement of these silly racist policies and ideas of racial separatism, the senseless ongoing gang warfare; the disunity that comes with all of these things, in my opinion, are amongst some of the things that need to go…

Also, another thing I want to point out, just because someone is older, or they’ve been doing time longer, doesn’t necessarily mean that they’re worthy of being leaders or teachers. It wouldn’t hurt to actually sit back and listen to some of these youngsters and listen to their ideas, and what they have to say, and to invite change into their lives, let evolution take its course, because those who hold on to the past are only holding on to old, ineffective, outmoded ways, that can’t and shouldn’t be applied in these times, under these circumstances… Not only that, but when it comes to being a leader and being someone who passes down knowledge it is sad to say, but the truth is, I’ve only come across a select few in this foul ass system, who actually have the pedigree to lead and teach, on an effective level. That’s just something to think about…

If you call yourself an “O.G.”, a leader, etc., and yet you don’t have anything good, or real, or meaningful to give to these youngsters, something that they can go through life with – even if it’s just one thing – then maybe you might want to reevaluate your position and “status” in life. Anybody can preach and talk and make their words sound real colorful and pretty and glorified, but talk has always been cheap, and it’s getting even cheaper by the day. I think you really have to ask yourself, as a leader, why would someone want to follow you? What would really make someone want to listen to you? Look at yourself, listen to how you sound when you talk, your character, your conduct, your actions, the way you present yourself, if all of that doesn’t match what you say, then ain’t nobody gonna think twice about anything you’re talking about, and in effect, all you’re doing is making noise. The change you want to see elsewhere has to start within you first.

Once consciousness has been raised, then things start to move in a different direction. The thing that I’m trying to convey here is that there’s flourishing and decline in everything in life, things can’t always stay the same forever, and they shouldn’t! Especially when you look at the way things are right now; ain’t none of this shit real, ain’t none of this shit right. It’s time to reevaluate, it’s time to raise the stakes. These youngsters are beginning to see what we’ve failed to see long ago. They know that if a little bit of freedom is a good thing, then a lot of freedom is a great thing. If a little bit of pleasure is nice, then a lot of pleasure is glorious. They are not content to settle for whatever left-over scraps of self-determination and joy come their way under the system that subscribes their lives today, and I do not blame them!

I feel that if you don’t have nothing good to give, or to share, then you need to move over, get out of the way, ‘cuz all you’re doing is muddying this shit up. I’ve seen a lot of these so-called shot-callers who have let that shit go to their head, they demand all kinds of respect that they don’t even deserve, they rule through fear and not through love; they’re all about themselves, not about their people, they’ll go to war over some bullshit and are putting their people at risk over some bullshit, but won’t stand up to the real enemy over some real shit. These type of people don’t impress me, and I have no respect for that shit.

That’s why I’m about what I’m about and do what I do, and I’m starting to look at all this shit differently. I see that a lot of people are motivated by their own jealousies and hate, and their own personal feelings, but I’ve come to find that wisdom lies in being able to see things objectively, not subjectively. I have nothing but respect for warriors of all types, and I respect the old warriors of this system (Nevada) who have been putting it down way before I even came to this disgusting place; (15 years ago) when I came to prison, those old warriors were my mentors. I’ve learned many good things from them, and I’ve learned a lot of good things from my own experiences too. I don’t waste my time trying to explain myself – my ideas, my standards, views, etc. – to people who I know aren’t going to understand. Nor do I have time to entertain other people’s old, tired-out, detestable ways and ideas. Indeed, it is good to learn from others, but if all they’re trying to teach me is how to become obedient and complacent, then they can’t really teach me nothing. Obedience is what got us in this situation we’re in now, and complacency is what’s keeping us here. When there’s nothing to respect, there’s nothing to obey, and if you take a good, square look around you, and if you’re honest with yourself, then you can see that there ain’t nothing respectable around here! Not a damn thing. So there’s no lesson for me in obedience, no lesson for me in complacency, so please miss me with all that; thank you very much, but no thanks!

While I’m still here, I’m going to keep trying to help others, no matter their age or race, and I’m going to keep reaching out to these youngsters, teaching them how to become leaders, so that they can do the shit that needs to be done and keep the good shit going, when there ain’t no one else around to teach them or to show them. I’m here to pass the torch and to keep this fire of resistance burning strong until it ignites everybody, and then we will come together and use that fire to burn this shit down!!! These pigs and this administration can keep trying to come down on me, they can try to suppress me all they want, I don’t give a fuck! Because I know what I’m doing is right and I know it’s what needs to be done. They can put me in the infirmary, behind double doors, isolate me, or whatever they want to do – they’re always trying to present some weak shit to strong individuals – but it doesn’t matter, ‘cuz I’m still going to find a way to do what I do!

These youngsters get snatched up and thrown into these cesspools of inhumanity before they can even learn how to think for themselves, and the ones who do the thinking for them, rarely have their best interests at heart. That’s why I use the expression of them being “thrown to the wolves.” The nature and the design of these prisons and these cells is to annihilate our youth, to break and destroy them, just like you see all if these older cats who have been broken and destroyed, with no fight in them, no life, no passion, no determination, and nothing good to hand down to the next generation of the young, free-spirited men that unwillingly get shoved through these unrefined doors of misery and hopelessness. So many times have I seen these youngsters come into this scandalous world of deprivation and perversion, and when they have become subjected to all of this foulness that has been laid out in front of them, they quickly absorb this shit and assume these foul, degenerate ways themselves, and that really ain’t cool.

It’s on us to start taking the time to elevate ourselves and re-educate our youngsters around real concepts of struggle and unity and growth, and we have to organize around the issues we are faced with in life, every day – the things that are right in our faces – rather than what race we are, or what region we come from. That shit hardly matters when we’re all going through the same shit. Oppression, poverty, capitalism, racism, gangsterism, this shit has an ill-effect on us all. We should take it upon ourselves to start igniting the flames of revolution in these youngsters’ hearts and in their minds, giving them something better to strive for and something real. We should find ways to give them real-life lessons that they will learn and gain from, taking these young minds filled with fantasies of gangsterism and helping them transform their thinking into guerilla warfare strategies to hopefully one day be used on any and all establishments of oppression. Because, from what I’ve seen, all of these bullshit racial policies that prisoners are forced to live by – by other prisoners, nonetheless – and all of the madness we see now, doesn’t do anything other than keep us all divided – and therefore conquered.

Those of us in this situation are all an oppressed people and we are all under the same gun. We have to stop emulating the ways of the pig – the oppressor – and start finding ways to uplift ourselves until we have the power we need to control our own lives.

We want change, we want truth, we want freedom, we want everything. We want complete control over every aspect of our lives; we want to taste the sweetest happiness and the most exhilarating liberty this existence has to offer. We don’t want to be slaves no more, we don’t want to be robots; we want to lead lives that are as adventurous, as magnificent as any we could read about in books. We want high stakes: we don’t want to just let our lives pass us by, mediocre and tiresome, stale and stagnant, as so many others have before us.

We see these cats who don’t have no life in them, no spark in their eyes, grouchy and miserable, no fire, no soul, and we don’t want to be like that. We want to live lives that mean something. For this, we are willing to risk anything; for this, we are willing to fight.

Things are changing and moving in a new direction now, more people are waking up, and soon enough we will start to see radical and revolutionary prison groups, chapters, movements and collectives sprouting up in Nevada, and in prisons everywhere. These collectives will be designed to give prisoners strength, solidarity, and will show them how to rise above oppression, not to mimic the ways of the oppressor, not to stay stagnant and stuck in a perpetual state of misery and despair and domination, but to challenge it, fight it, and to defeat it all together! Things are changing, we can look at what’s been going on in prisons in other states these last few years, not only for examples, but also for evidence that the prison struggle continues. A prison was burnt down in Kentucky a few years ago, then we’ve seen the biggest American prison strike in Georgia, followed by a successful hunger strike in Ohio – which was, in fact, kicked off by 3 of the Lucasville 5 – and now we have just seen the largest hunger strike ever, in California.

When we see these things we see the power of Unity in full effect. More prisoners are resisting, more people are coming together to challenge the injustices and to seek solutions. These are definite signs that change is about to come. It’s time for us to start making new history.

Until then, the devastation in my heart remains as I continue to bear witness to these young men being shuffled inside of this perpetual death-trap. But while I’m here, I will do all I can to try to bring forth greatness in every youngster that I come across, and one day, rather than desperately trying to seek knowledge and strength in their older comrades, they will begin to look for these things within themselves.

Resistance, Solidarity and Strength

Comrade Coyote

Anarchist Black Cross – Nevada Prison Chapter

Black August 2011

Ely State Prison, Nevada

Note: At the time of this writing, these pigs have snatched me up and moved me to the infirmary to try to isolate me and keep me separated from comrades and peers; they said that I was trying to organize. And [ass. warden] Brooks (no longer here! Hooray!) had to come in to 4-A, along with Lt. peck to feed us our dinner; ‘cuz the pigs were too scared to come onto the tier to feed us! Later that night, they came and got me and took me to the infirmary. I stayed there for a month, then they moved me to 3-B, where I’m at now.

This is an ad.-seg. [administrative segregation] unit, but I’m on D.S. [disciplinary segregation]. I got kicked out of the hole! (the first person in ESP history to ever get kicked out of the hole!). I’m doing my D.S. time on this unit now, because there’s no youngsters on this tier, no comrades. They’ve got me here not only to isolate me, but also to pacify me. The atmosphere on this unit is way different and more mellow, the mentality of the prisoners here is nothing like what I’m used to seeing in the hole, everything’s quiet and still and the pigs don’t go out of their way to fuck with none of us over here.

The conditions on the unit are a little better than the deplorable conditions you see in the hole… I guess they don’t like it when someone goes from tier to tier bringing all of the youngsters and all of the convicts together to stand up and resist the disdainful conditions of the hole. They see that unity and they fear it, so they try to do everything they can to keep us stymied and separated, everything that is, but what they’re supposed to do!

For a more immense and more intense version of this article, send a stamp to:

S. Chicago ABC Zine Distro

P.O. Box 721,

Homewood, IL 60430

And ask them to send you a copy of “Thrown to the wolves”- by Coyote

Mail-Call

2011-11-09T03:26:00.001-08:00

"Mail-Call"

The sun has finally set and has evaporated somewhere beyond the menacing razor wire. it couldn't have been longer than 25 minutes ago that the meek guard had silently tiptoed off the tier. 6:30 count. We sit in our cells and wait. The sally-port door opens, an attentive who resides in a cell just a few doors down from mine calls out in a distant voice: "Mail-Call!" All those who hear and who care come to their doors in arcane anticipation, hoping that the guard will stop and slide a letter underneath their doors; to see if someone on the outs has taken the delicate time to show their love and concern, letting us know that although we're gone, we haven't been forgotten...

Some prisoners wait all day for this event. Mail has become their only livelihood in this volatile existence. After dinner, it's the only meaningful thing we have to look forward to. Those who are fortunate enough to receive mail sit down on their bunks and read the letters that have been afforded to them with an abundance of joy and excitement, sharing select pieces of information and news with their friends and associates who linger in the adjoining cells around them. Those who are less fortunate sullenly turn off their lights, crawl under their flimsy covers, hoping that tomorrow will be better, as they drift off into a light sleep.

Receiving mail from the outside world definitely plays an intimate role in the aid of a prisoner being able to keep his or her sanity and focus while under these profane living conditions. it's a productive way to stay connected to the world outside of these suffocating walls, and also a healthy way to combat the loneliness that harshly grips us as we languish in these contemptible cells.

With this time that I've had to endure while under lock and key, mail-call has been the most important event of my day, every day. Just to be able to receive publications of various sorts has not only kept me abreast of current affairs; it has also kept me afloat in these turbid waters of agony and despair.

It has been through these various publications that I've been able to keep my ear to the radical streets, while passing these on to other prisoners so that they too can become enlivened and aware... I've come to learn about things that I never knew could even exist; things such as zine distro's, squats, autonomous zones, as well as different groups and organizations such as the IWW and the ARA. With this new understanding of life and radical events that transpire beyond this torpid state of existence; the veneer of capitalism has become removed with greater ease, the hold that these cold, stone walls have on me, now become tenuous, my eyes are unveiled and a strong, vibrant sense of joy and passion for life and freedom starts to well up inside of me! Now I know that a better, more beautiful world lies beyond these wretched walls, waiting for me to come and join...

To the prisoners that keep the torch of freedom burning strongly in their hearts, I encourage you to continuously and adamantly reach out to people on the outs, friends, family, prison advocacy groups, newsletters and newspapers, and various organizations, and keep the connection with the outside world alive and as fervent as ever. Do what you can to connect the people on the outs to our struggles in here, and to find ways to join in and contribute in their struggles out there. Don't let these walls close in on you, even if you have life sentences; please don't let this terrible world of darkness and misery consume you. Stay connected to the outside world, and always stand for freedom.

Freedom,

Coyote

Anarchist Black Cross

Nevada Prison Chapter

October 2011

Ely State Prison: A Place of Depravity, Death and Despair

2010-11-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

Ely State Prison is a place of death, stagnation, misery, pain, loneliness and indeterminate lockdown. If you were to take a walk on one of these depressing tiers back here in “the hole”, you would hear many disembodied voices ring out, yelling in anger and frustration, trying to tell you how bad it is for us in here, in between the isolated confines of steel and stone.

This is a maximum security prison, but not everybody here is a security risk, but if you were to ask these pigs that, they’d probably tell you otherwise, just to try to justify the fact they’re keeping us warehoused in here, whether we deserve it or not. With time things change, and usually for the worse. Deterioration is a normal occurrence in here. In fact, if you were to ask the prisoners around here if they think the conditions here will get better or worse, most of them will tell you things are only going to get worse. Pessimism and hopelessness permeate the minds and attitudes of the average prisoner in here. There’s nothing much to look forward to, besides the next meal, and maybe a letter in the mail, if you’re lucky.

Back in the day, ironically when E.S.P. was actually opened up (when we were allowed group yard, tier time, porters, etc.), the majority of the prisoners here were actually befitting of the status: maximum security. Back then, a man was sent to Ely State Prison for failure to adjust in another, less secure prison, violence, escapes and things of that nature. But even then, that could also mean he was disruptive, someone who organized other prisoners, led religious services, or filed too many legal writs or grievances.

Not every man at ESP is told why he’s here these days, and not every man here has committed a violent crime. Not every man here has done anything serious to even warrant maximum security status (like for example, I have a neighbour here in the hole with me right now who was transferred up here simply for contraband). A prisoner has no chance to appeal a transfer before being sent to ESP, and sometimes arrives in the middle of the night without warning. Brought into a world of darkness, locked into a cell, left to get stale and stagnant as he deteriorates, like a mouldy piece of bread.

Nobody belongs in a world where they’re buried alive, where they’re in a tomb for the dead, basically. And the police has total control, and many of them frequently abuse that control, either on a psychological level, or on a physical level. And over the days, weeks, months and years, a prisoner who is confined to this every day misery, begins to degenerate. I’ve seen it happen, over and over again. Nobody belongs in a world like this, where death permeates the atmosphere. Where pressure is applied so constantly that all it does is make these men hard and mean as time goes by.

Some of these guys in here feel they only have 2 or 3 choices now: escape, snitch or suicide. Nobody has escaped from here yet, but many turned into snitches, and many have committed suicide. And others have succumbed to psychotropic medications, which is a form of both escape and suicide. For so many of us in here, there’s nothing to strive for, no aim, no goals, no hope, no light at the end of their tunnel, and they just give up; give in. There’s no love here, just the artificial love that you’ll find in the gang culture of prison life. This is a terrible place to be, especially for someone who has to return back to society.

All you have to do is read a little psychology to figure out what’s going on, to understand what’s being done to us in here. They try to break us down, sever our family and social ties, dominate us, talk shit to us, treat us like children, going out to their way to try to keep us stagnant and ignorant, and always out to break our spirits. Needless to say, I pass around books, articles and notes on psychology, so that prisoners can get a deeper understanding about things. Not just about being in prison, but also about how our minds work, personality, emotions, why we act the way we act, and why we are the way we are. It’s very important to actually be able to come to an understanding of these things; to raise our level of conscious and to be able to elevate our thinking under these circumstances is very important in more ways than one, and it’s also necessary for our survival in here, where psychological warfare is being waged on us every day.

The depravity and despair in this graveyard continuously pushes men to death or insanity. I wrote an article on November 18th, 2009, about the mysterious death of death row inmate Timothy Redman. November 18th, 2009, was the day he died, and I was there when it happened. This is a prime example of the daily depravity that takes place in this hellhole. Approximately an hour after Redman allegedly tried to grab a correctional officer by the wrist and pull his arm through the food slot (apparently the pig had to struggle to free himself), an extraction team of officers was made up to physically and forcefully remove Redman from his cell, or at least to try. Redman refused to surrender and to be placed in handcuffs, and he did so by displaying a weapon. What’s cold about this whole thing is that the policy (administrative regulation) even states that any time a prisoner has a weapon in his cell, his water and toilet is to be shut off, an officer is to be stationed outside of his cell, and nothing is to come in or go out of his cell – not even meals, and this officer is supposed to stay stationed outside of his cell until the prisoner either gives the weapon up, or for 72 hours, and then they have to decide what to do from there, whether excessive force is to be used or not. Did this happen? No. These pigs refused to follow their own rules and a man died as a result.

I can tell you exactly what took place. After Redman refused to surrender, the pigs then proceeded to spray one can of pepper spray into his cell. After that the senior officer in the control bubble commenced to open Redman’s cell so the pigs could run in there on him and retaliate, and then remove him from his cell. But the cell door was jammed from the inside, and they couldn’t get it open. Obviously Redman was no dummy, he knew how to keep the pigs out, and he knew why it was so important to do so. That’s a situation that you usually don’t win. They come in and beat your ass, and after they’ve got you fully restrained, they beat you some more as they yell out “Stop resisting! Stop resisting!” So, over the course of two hours, the pigs emptied a total of 6 canisters of gas into Redman’s cell, and then sprayed a seventh canister one time. They would spray him, and then go hide out in the upper storage room, so that the gas wouldn’t affect them (Redman was housed in 3-B-48, right next to the upper storage room). When they were finally able to open Redman’s cell to get him out, he was dead. His face was purple, his body was blue and blood was coming out of his nose. His boxers were stained with feces and urine and he had what appeared to be a smile on his face. The nurses and doctors tried to revive him, but to no avail.

What’s mysterious about this whole situation was that when they pulled Redman out of his cell, there was no rope tied around his neck or anything. But they say he hung himself. They said it was a suicide. But did he really hang himself, or was he murdered by six cans of pepper spray? Was it a cover-up? People need to be concerned about this, and they should demand to see the video footage of the extraction, just to make sure, because the whole thing seemed mysterious to the majority of the inmates who saw the incident take place.

All seem to agree that Redman died from the pepper spray. They think he was murdered. Who knows what happened. All humans are capable of murder, and death row inmates have been murdered before under McDaniel’s administration. I know this much: a couple of hours after they carried Redman’s body out of the unit, 2 of the wardens, the coroner, and the investigator were all standing outside of Redman’s cell laughing, smiling and joking around, thinking it was funny, until a prisoner piped up and said, “What are you laughing at? If that was one of your own who died, you wouldn’t find it very funny, now would you?” They got quiet. But it seemed like they were happy to see Redman die. At dinner time, a guard who was on the extraction team came into the unit and yelled out loud, so everybody could hear, “Cell 48 said he doesn’t want his tray.” It just goes to show how much regard these pigs have for our lives. They have no love, no mercy for us. The whole scene was a blatant violation of the administrative regulations and a blatant disregard for Redman’s life. And the really cold, cold, part about it was, when the coroner asked the warden, on two separate occasions, “How should I decide this?”, “How do you think I should decide this, suicide or murder?” The warden looked around, seen that prisoners were standing alert at their doors and said, “I can’t decide that, that’s your job.” But what would even propel the coroner to ask such an odd question like that in the first place? It makes you wonder…

I knew Redman personally. He wasn’t really a friend of mine, but someone I talked to occasionally. I don’t know what set him off to go after the pig, but I do know this: Redman was a death row inmate who has had to endure 23-hour lockdown while on H.R.P. (High Risk Potential status: supermax custody level) for 16-17 years straight. I’ve heard him talking once about how year after year administration is stripping one privilege away from us each year. Tobacco, milk, scrambled eggs, hot lunches, food packages, clothing packages, etcetera, etcetera. They just take, take, take and keep you locked down in a cell with a death sentence hanging over your head. Oh yeah, and I know that they were messing with Redman’s mail too. He seemed to think that his wife left him due to this; because certain letters never got to her. So, I think it’s safe to say, with all these things taken into consideration, you have a man who has nothing to lose, and no hope in sight, who has basically been driven to a point where life doesn’t even matter anymore.

There’s a lot of people like that in here. They weren’t always like that though. They’ve deteriorated, and have been broken, and just stopped trying, stopped caring, with no one or nothing to help pull them through. It’s a sad, sad story, about depravity and despair. Some of us fight and struggle (psychological and spiritually), trying to make it through this, trying to better ourselves and better our positions in life, and some just give up all hope. It’s easy to give up in a filthy, foul-ass place like this, where nobody cares about what you’re going through, or about where happens to you, one way or another.

The guards that work here don’t care about us, they’re not trained to care about us, they are only trained to control us. Ely State Prison is an unproductive, unhealthy environment, even for these pigs. It has been documented that prison guards have the highest rates of heart disease, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce – and the shortest lifespans – of any state civil servants, due to the stress in their lives. Prison guard are in constant fear of injury by prisoners, and the fear of contracting diseases always lingers in their minds, since prisons are normally flooded with all kinds of diseases, from hepatitis C, tuberculosis, to AIDS.

From the first day in the academy these guards are trained to believe that they are taught to believe that they are the “good guys” and that prisoners are the “bad guys”, They are pretty much programmed into fearing and despising us – before they even come into contact with any of us! They are led to believe that all prisoners are manipulative, deceitful and dangerous, and that all prisoners are the scum of the Earth. So no, they don’t care about us, they are not even allowed to care about us. We are not even human to them. Needless to say, none of this leads to rehabilitation, but on the contrary, it only contributes to the everyday depravity here in this hellhole.

I’m writing about all of this for a reason though. I’m here to expose the abuse, the injustices, the disparity and hopelessness. I’m here to raise awareness about all of these things, and I’m here to help seek solutions. One of the things I’d like to help Nevada prisoners understand is that the situation for us out here is deplorable. There is a real problem with this whole system, and if we don’t recognize these problems, we will never find solutions, not to mention the possibility that we ourselves could even be contributing to many of these problems. Please believe, the way they’ve got us doing our time is not the way we’re supposed to be doing our time. This whole prison is “the hole”, there’s no general population here at E.S.P., there’s no incentive, no programs, no rehabilitation, nothing. We have way more coming to us than this! We are not supposed to just lay down and accept this, we have to start finding ways to come together, we have to start striving to make the necessary changes that will help better our positions in life, so that we don’t have to keep coming back to these dead ends.

Furthermore, like Ikemba always says, there’s no real level of activism in Nevada. Prisoners do not have any available resources, bookstores for Nevada prisoners, no prisoners’ rights advocacy groups, no solid help from the outside, whatsoever. In order to make changes on the inside, we need support from the outside. We must take it upon ourselves to build a proper support structure for Nevada prisoners, and we have to do this from the ground up!

So, if you’re a prisoner doing time in Nevada and if you have family/friends out here in Nevada – or anywhere else on the outs – I would like to encourage you to explain to them how bad the situation is for you/us in here. Let them know that we cannot expect any type of real rehabilitation from this system; explain to them that the administration is not going to do anything to help us further our growth and development, or push us close to becoming reformed, socially functioning individuals. We have to take it upon ourselves to do these things and we can’t do it without a proper support structure from people on the outside.

Talk to your families, talk to your friends, talk to your loved ones out there (show them this newsletter if you have to), see what they would be willing to do to start up programs for Nevada prisoners. Something needs to be done, but nothing will improve unless prisoners start taking the initiative. The guys who have to do life sentences, or who have to be here for the duration, I encourage you to start learning the law, use it as a tool to make changes for everybody; start stepping up to the plate, instead of waiting for others to do it for you. As long as we keep trying, sooner or later something has to give. It’s better to try than to do nothing, especially when we’re living like this! We can do anything we put our minds to, it all starts with a thought, and what we think about we become, so let’s get it cracking.

Until then, we are just going to sit here, warehoused in this misery, as the years go by, more people losing their minds, more deaths and suicides, more repression, more rules being placed on us, making it harder on us, more restrictions, more losses of privileges and whatever else they want to take from us. We will sit here with sad looks on our faces, as anger and hatred eat us up inside. The despair will lead to depravity, and the depravity will do us in. Death is the only outcome tomorrow, for those that don’t start taking action today.

Solidarity and Respects

Coyote

Mistakes are Necessary, Sometimes

2010-11-21T02:16:00.000-08:00

Mistakes Are Necessary, Sometimes

First and foremost allow me to extend my most sincere greetings of solidarity and respects, to all of the solid comrades here are E.S.P. who read these few humble words. I’ve been sitting back thinking about all the things I’ve seen in the last few months, and I just wanted to write a little article on it, just to open up a dialogue on the subjects of being organized, and on learning from our mistakes, and using this time to grow and elevate ourselves on different levels. This is just my perception on things, but I welcome all of the feedback that I could get.

I always hear people talking about keeping it real, yet when I question people on their definition of real, it seems like everybody has a different definition from the next man. So I’ve come to realize, if my definition of real is different from your definition of real, then until we reach some type of understanding between us, some type of mutual respect, then we are probably gonna continuously bump heads and clash when it comes to certain things.

If people aren’t on the same page, yet they’re all advocating the same ideas, then people aren’t really ever going to be able to come together on a serious note. Until people, or at least a group of people, can get things together amongst themselves, with agreement and understanding amongst all people involved, then there can’t be any organization. In order for there to be organization, people not only have to be on the same page, but they have to be on the same chapter, in the same book, on the same paragraph. And that can only be done through lengthy discussions and dialogues, going back and forth sharing ideas and discussing these ideas until everybody is in agreement.

Until then, everything is a learning process, we grow as we go. We learn from each other and we learn from our mistakes, and from the mistakes of others. This is why I say certain mistakes are necessary sometimes. It’s so easy to fuck up, to make mistakes, we all do it. And we will all do it again and again, because we all have our flaws, and because nobody is perfect.

But that’s exactly why we are in here using this time as an opportunity to strengthen our minds, bodies and spirits. That’s why we are taking true strides to work on our flaws and our weaknesses. That’s why we are trying to learn discipline, patience, humility, and grace, and that’s why we are just trying to grow and progress and get better and stronger in all aspects.

It’s the ones who are not trying to understand themselves, the ones who are not trying to fix their flaws, learn from their mistakes, and get better and grow, that we have to be leery of, those are the ones who need to be shunned. You have to stay away from people like that.

There is a time and place for everything. Well, just about everything. We are all in agreement that there are some things you just don’t do, no matter what. Things like raping women and children, snitching, cowardice, and things of that nature. Those are things that we’ve all agreed on, that are absolute no-no’s. But what I’m trying to get at is this, sometimes, as we grow and learn on this long and winding journey, sometimes we have to be wrong before we can be right. As long as we ourselves recognize the errors in our own ways, and try do to do all we can to right our wrongs, then it’s okay, we can come back from that. But there are some mistakes that we can’t come back from and that cannot and will not be overlooked. And the things that we would not do, we don’t condone them either. So we always have to keep that in our hearts and in our minds, or else things will always be foul and fake around here.

As long as our hearts are true and our intentions are good and as long as our characters and conduct are solid, then our paths will be laid out for us. Not to say that there won’t be obstacles and struggles along the way, because of course there will always be those, but it’s how we handle those struggles that determines how much inner-strength we have, and it’s these things that make us stronger.

I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, and I have flaws too, but I’m working on those things every day. We all slip up sometimes, and it takes time to rectify those things, but the important thing is that they can be rectified. It’s good to have comrades around who actually care about you, who care about what you’re going through in life, your ups and downs, your successes and failures, and who are there to help you with your progression. Comrades who will help pick you up when you fall, but who will make sure that you ain’t slipping, who will make sure that you’re on your toes and on top of your game and keep it real at all times. Some things we have to learn on our own, but sometimes it helps to have loved ones around to help you out too.

I just write this article to encourage people to consider these things, and the fact that we are all in here going through similar struggles together. I hope to see people getting on the same page and getting organized on some real shit. Things that will help you and yours excel in all aspects and areas of life. I want to encourage people to take a deeper look at self and at the world around you, and find your purpose and your place in life. Try to gain a deeper understanding of things, and a revolutionary heart and mind. Revolutionary, meaning someone who strives to bring change, because when all you see and all you know is this foul ass bullshit that keeps getting you in these fucked up situations, then change begins to look like a beautiful thing.

I want to encourage people to start having discussions and to keep an open exchange of dialogue going, so that a solid level of understanding can be reached and so everybody can get on the same page, so that we can start striving towards greater heights together, and so that we can make a difference and make this a solid and productive atmosphere for growth and progression. Keep an open mind, listen as much as you talk, try to teach, but also try to learn.

Solidarity and Respects

Coyote

July 18^th, 2010

WE NEED TO START GETTING ORGANIZED AND START TAKING CONTROL OF OUR LIVES. WE MIGHT MAKE MISTAKES NOW, BUT EVENTUALLY WE’VE GOT TO GET IT RIGHT!

Stay Strong, Stay Committed

2010-11-17T10:11:00.000-08:00

Stay Strong, Stay Committed

There is no time better than right now to take a deeper look at self, life and struggle. Many of us in the struggle have long resisted before we even knew there was a struggle. There’s something inside of us; like a fire! But where does it come from? How did we get like this; I mean what made us so honorable to carry this fire inside of us? For most of us, this rebellious spirit, of course, stems from some form of abuse or injustice in our pasts, or from our early childhood, or something; we are who we are for a reason. Well, for lots of reasons actually. Once you know yourself, you can only become strengthened and empowered through this understanding. I speak of it here, because it’s important to understand what it is that has cultivated us into the rebels and warriors we are, especially now that we know and see who and what it is – this terrible beast – that we are up against.

Sometimes we have to go through our own personal strife before we can again be awakened to the ultimate struggle. I think this is the critical importance of understanding ourselves and our inherent connection to humanity, liberty and struggle. We have to go through things in life, stumble, fall, and then pick ourselves back up and ask ourselves what just happened and why, before we can really start to understand things, and somewhere in all of this turmoil we begin to see that there’s a connection between one’s own personal life and experiences and the lives and experiences of humanity as a whole. And that’s when we realize that we’re not alone in this struggle. We are a part of something. Something that’s bigger and greater than we ever understood.

And now that our eyes are opened, we must stay strong, stay focused and we must stay committed. It’s not just about “me” anymore, now it’s about “us”. Solidarity is what we have, freedom is what we strive for.

Solidarity and Respects,

Coyote

In the Company of Four Walls

2010-11-17T10:06:00.000-08:00

- IN THE COMPANY OF FOUR WALLS -

In between four white walls

I contemplate

And in between these four white walls

I marinate

I use this time of loneliness

To think of all the thoughts that could be thought of

With these four walls I share my homeliness

For these walls I have much love

These walls know my feelings, they know who I

Love and who I hate

They watch over me when I sleep

And they’re there to help me concentrate

They’re there when I stress, they’re there

When I rest

They’re there when I fear, and when I’m

Hurting inside they’re always near

These four walls listen when I’m mad

These four walls just may be

The best company I’ve ever had

I Don’t Think You Know

2010-11-17T10:03:00.000-08:00

You want to know
How I know
What I know?
Well, I don’t know
What you think you know
And I don’t know
What you think I know
But I don’t think you know

All I know
Is I know what I know
And you think you know
But I don’t think you know
And if you really know
Then why don’t you act like you know
Not pretend you know
But actually show that you know

Coyote
November 20th, 2009

ESP Book Drive

2010-10-23T04:04:00.000-07:00

You can help change someone’s life! There is nothing more invigorating, nothing more liberating than knowledge! Books can definitely change people’s lives, and who needs help with changing their lives more than the people in prison? It has already been proven that education is the most powerful tool against recidivism, yet prisoners sit in their cells going mentally numb, getting more aggressive and deteriorating intellectually, spiritually and physically, just wasting away behind steel and stone, until the day they are released and returned back into our communities!

This is a chance to make a difference; to have an impact on someone’s life. This is a chance for people out there to really get involved in something significant. We need you to help us bring meaning and productivity to these prisoners lives! Please, help us do something positive; something that will definitely make a difference. Help us give these prisoners something important to think about, help us raise their level of consciousness and break them from the shackles of the gangster, pimp and criminal mentalities that confine them to self-destruction and perpetual misery.

Help us get books together for these men who sit in their cells staring at the walls all day. People throw books away every day. We need those books. We want you to help us donate those books to the Ely State Prison library; we want you to help us help these people who will be returning back to society. We want you to help us help these people who deserve a second chance. Help them realize they deserve a second chance! We can do that by bringing hope, meaning, and knowledge into their lives through books. we need you to help us with this possible life-changing project!

Any book you can donate will be appreciated, and put to good use, no matter what kind of book it is. Our mission here, however, is to turn the E.S.P. library into a real library. The E.S.P. library already has lots and lots of horror novels, sci-fi novels, fantasy and romance, but lacks anything of real educational value. So, we want you to help us provide any type of book that will allow prisoners to think and comprehend things on a higher, or deeper level.

We want educational books; anything that has some type of educational value, or that will provide real intellectual stimulation. All books will be accepted and appreciated, and books that we are particularly looking for are basically any type of books on:

• History
• Any type of self-help book
• Dictionaries, thesaurus, encyclopedias, almanacs, vocabulary builders, etc.
• Philosophy
• Psychology and/or sociology
• Anthropology
• Text books of all kinds
• Non-fictional books, true stories, current events, etc.
• Books on business, economics, law, etc.
• Poetry, classics, literature, etc.
• Autobiographies, memoirs and biographies
• Books on science (any branch of science, from astronomy to palaeontology, whatever)
• Good fiction novels that could possibly have a life-changing impact on a prisoner’s mind
• Books about prison, or written by prisoners, who have changed their lives while in prison (these stories are always inspirational and helpful for those incarcerated)
• Any books on politics, revolutionary science, prominent figures and leaders
• Cultural studies: Latino, African American, Native American, Asian, The Celts, The Romans, The Greeks, The Egyptians, Aztecs, Mayans, etc.
• Political books (on anarchism, communism, socialism, etc.)
• Theology, Theosophy, etc.
• Books on different languages
• Geography
• Best sellers, Pulitzer prize winners, etc.
• Esoteric studies, masonic literature, symbolism, etc.
• Health, medical encyclopedia, physical fitness, etc.

Any book that you have, that you don’t want, or need any more, any book that you think would be uplifting, educational, or inspirational to prisoners, please send them to:

White Pine County School District
Mountain High School
1135 Avenue C
Ely, Nevada 89301
Attention: Ms. Thiel / E.S.P. Library Donations

Please make sure to go through all of your books, removing money, papers or anything that you may have left inside of your books, because the officers will thoroughly inspect each book before they are inducted into the E.S.P. Library.

Please talk to your friends, family, co-workers and classmates, ask them if they have any old books that they don’t want or need any more. We really want you to help us turn the E.S.P. library into a real library. Help us bring meaning and positive change to these prisoner’s lives.

There is no rehabilitation, no programs, no real educational/vocational opportunities for these guys incarcerated at Ely State Prison. We want you to help us give them that opportunity, we want you to help us help them. We want you to help us liberated these prisoners’ minds and transform their lives through knowledge, education and higher learning. Please get involved in this life-changing project. There’s nothing more empowering than knowledge! Thank you for your time and concern.

Solidarity and Respects
Coyote - ABC Nevada Prison Chapter

ps if you plan to send in any books, please if possible let Coyote know which books you donated.

Que Dia Tan Bello

2010-10-18T02:26:00.000-07:00

To my dear friends who read these “few” humble words, I wish to extend my most sincere greetings of solidarity and respects, hoping you are in the best of health and in the brightest of spirits, with the joy for life going strong inside your beautiful, unbreakable hearts!

My dear friends, the beautiful and compassionate people out there in the “free” world, I wish I could give you the opportunity to meet and talk to some of these guys I’m locked down with. I wish you had the opportunity to contemplate the wise and poetic words of the warriors and radicals that I’ve been fortunate enough to cross paths with in these dregs of society.

Men who know pain, men who know strife, prisoners who have been beat down by life and who unfortunately had to survive by drastic means and desperate measures, but who still strive with determined passion to rise above the constant madness and degeneration, with the drive to come out of this situation as wiser and stronger men, with a true and healthy understanding of life. These prisoners are my comrades, they refuse to just sit and dwell in their cells, but instead, they make it a point to stay occupied and to stay focused and just like me they’re going through the same dilemmas and insane situations, just trying to stay strong and true through it all. We try to make the best out of a bad situation.

Straight up comrades. We may have different skin color, different cultures, different backgrounds, and therefore different ways of seeing and feeling about specific things, but we’ve all been put up in this same situation together, and we are all up in here doing time together, exchanging bits and pieces of conversation, head nods of acknowledgment as one walks past another’s cell on the way to the shower, we pass things to each other, share literature, share magazine, share pictures of beautiful women, we share books, we share music, and even though the administration here at Ely State Prison has made rules against sharing, we still do it, because we know that sharing is caring! We trade with one another, buy and sell from one another, and without really trying, we’ve basically turned each tier into a little community, just by being here, locked down like this and just trying to find ways to socialize and survive and to make it through this madness without losing our minds.

As we separate the real from the fake, the good from the foul, we’ve come to know of each other through a similar set of standards which convicts live by. After so much time and so much bullshit, while living around so much foulness under these locked down situations, some of us still try to keep the dying idea of solidarity alive.

A community that hates is one that perishes. A community that co-exists is one that thrives. If we can learn how to co-exist in these inhumane conditions of confinement, then we can definitely learn how to co-exist in a general population setting. It’s already known that the people who keep us here don’t want us to get along, they don’t want to see us sharing, borrowing, lending, and they especially don’t want to see us thriving and striving together, because they know that type of solidarity threatens and undermines the power they hold over us. Most of these oppressors would rather see us locked down and suffering, with nothing in our cells and no one to talk to. Which is why they try so hard to break us all the way down when they see how much we are trying to stay strong and to survive, and when they see how much we are willing to resist, they’re struck with fear and fascination! We are here, alive and stronger than ever, and we’re not going out like that. That’s why we strive so hard to learn new things, to exercise and to elevate! We strive to grow and develop and sharpen our intellects and strengthen our bodies and to search our souls. We dwell in a graveyard, but we are alive. Not only is this a political struggle, but it’s an intellectual struggle, a physical struggle and a spiritual struggle as well. Never are we to lay down and accept this shit, which is why we’ve made it our objectives to come out of this wiser, stronger and more refined.

You can see the pain in our poetry when you read our words and our writings. You can see how much time, effort and skill we’ve put into our creations when you look at our drawings and our art. You can see how we have taken tremendous strides to break through the chains that they try to use to keep our minds shackled to ignorance and stagnation. You can see the beauty in our struggle as it shines through. We refuse to lay down, we refuse to give up, we refuse to be buried alive in these steel and stone cemeteries.

With a dictionary, we are armed. With a book of our own history, we are armed. With philosophy books, we are armed. And with the fundamentals of true, radical thoughts of resistance, we are armed and dangerous. Ready for life, ready for death, ready for freedom, and for revolution. We see what’s happening, and we know what’s happening, and we’re ready to make things happen. We strive for change, we strive for a sense of direction, for purpose and for self and collective elevation. And everybody knows that I could sit here all day and write about all the misery, pain and suffer, but today, as I write this, I wish you could see – my dear and beautiful friends – how brightly the light shines in a world of darkness.

We could not be strong in here, without the support of the people on the outs. We could not be organized, educated or liberated without solid support from the people. We appreciate the help, we appreciate the love. We appreciate the books, the money, the letters. We appreciate all that you do to help us sustain and maintain. We’d have no lifeline if it wasn’t for all the beautiful people out there, showing us love, solidarity and support. Without people like you in this world, we’d be lost, we’d be through. Thank you.

Before I close this, I just want to leave you with one more thought. Life in prison is a tragedy, we all know that. But in all honesty, sometimes I wake up feeling good about myself, feeling good about life, feeling good about the camaraderie and the spirit of resistance in the hearts of the men around me, and I have to get up and come to the door and yell out to somebody, “It’s a beautiful day!”.

With love for the people,
Coyote
Nevada Prison Chapter (A.B.C.)
Ely State Prison, 2009

Quote:

“Crime belongs to the concept “revolt against the social order”. One does not “punish” a rebel. One suppresses him. A rebel can be a miserable and contemptible man; but there is nothing contemptible in a revolt as such – and to be a rebel in view of contemporary society does in itself lower the value of a man. There are even cases in which one might have to honor a rebel, because he finds something in our society against which war ought to be waged – he awakens us from slumber”

. – Friedrich Nietzsche

Rebel

2010-10-18T02:24:00.000-07:00

Abandoned as a youth, caged against my will, they tried to turn a tiger cub into a circus animal, but to no avail.

I’ve remained wild all through my days, criminal-minded, because no laws I’ve obeyed. Took the time in prison, refusing to be a slave. Society has no mercy for a strong muthafucka like me, but it doesn’t even matter, because my spirit remains untameable, and that’s the way it will always be.

Inflammable thoughts unite the imprisoned minds, liquefied like mercury, hot steel burns through our veins, as we struggle through the strife of life. Learning to endure the pain. I have no answers to a pig’s question asked; there’s nothing to say. Another day past is another lesson gained, anarchist to the core, hardcore to the brain.

Coyote
December 2009
High Risk Potential

Quote:
“Human laws are invalid, because they are contrary to the laws of nature.”
- Blackstone

The Pedagogy of the Existential Coyote

2010-10-18T02:23:00.000-07:00

I have incorporated “socializing” into my daily routine, just like studying and writing and exercising, now I’ve made it basically mandatory that I get my dialogue, communication and study sessions in every day too. It’s good for me, and it’s good for all those whom I socialize with, and it has also become a good way for me to combat isolation and loneliness.

I’m particularly satisfied with the latest study sessions that I’ve been having with the comrades on my tier, because I’ve been able to exert some of my newly-acquired knowledge on “existentialism” and I was able to relay this knowledge to others in my study group in a way that they could not only grasp what I was saying, but also embrace it. And I guess that just made me feel good, you know? To not only see my own personal growth and development become actualized, but also to be able to pass these gems of knowledge onto others, to the effect that these gems that I pass on will always be with those that I’ve passed them on to. It’s just a beautiful thing and it makes me feel good about myself, about my study group and about what I’m learning, teaching and doing.

I mean what’s the point of studying and learning and acquiring new knowledge if you can’t, or don’t ever apply it? I’ve come to learn that the word “pedagogy” means the art or profession of teaching, but what I haven’t figured out yet is which I like more, learning or teaching, but I do know that they go hand in hand. I will always be a student, no matter how much I learn, or how old I grow, I could never know it all, and I’m always going to want to learn more, and the more I learn, the more I can share with others. Giving the gift of knowledge, is giving a real gift.

In his book, “The Pedagogy of the Oppressed”, Paulo Freire writes: “In fact, those who, in learning to read and write, come to a new awareness of selfhood and begin to look critically at the social situation in which they find themselves, often take the initiative in acting to transform the society that has denied them this opportunity of participation. Education is once again a subversive force.”

So, basically, once we learn, we become aware, once we become aware we start rejecting everything that’s wrong with the social order of things, and then after that we start taking initiative to make changes in our world, and that’s why knowledge is dangerous, and that’s why these pigs here in these prisons try to make it so hard for us to get books and literature in, that’s why they try to keep real radicals separated from one another, keeping us surrounded by crazies who bang and scream all day, making it difficult for us to find a peaceful moment to sit back, read and absorb new knowledge. Because these pigs understand how knowledge gives us new vitality, how it gives us strength and empowerment. They’d rather keep us crushed, dispirited and ignorant. That’s the way they do things.

I’ve come to believe that knowledge gives our lives meaning, because think about it; I mean without knowledge what meaning would our lives have? What would we be without knowledge? What would life be?

There’s nothing like learning something new and then passing it on to someone else. It’s a great feeling. Knowledge is a beautiful, powerful, subversive, dangerous thing! Get some!

Coyote
August 2009

Note:
Several months after this essay was written, the administration moved Coyote to another unit in the hole that houses mostly psych patients who bang and scream all day, and they waited a couple of weeks to watch and see who all Coyote befriended on this new tier and then moved them all to other units in the hole, making sure to keep Coyote isolated. Coyote does not socialize with anybody, anymore, at the moment, but instead he uses this time to reflect, read, write and study. They’ve isolated him indeed, but his mind is still active and explosive and they have not shut him down!

Nothing Can Stop Us Now

2010-10-18T02:21:00.001-07:00

From the dark ripples of thought, stem these words of sorrowful wisdom, where pain has turned into strength, and strength has turned into love.

There’s nothing powerful enough to break a heart that beats to the drum of resistance. There’s nothing strong enough to decimate a warrior’s will; a will that cannot be deterred. There’s nothing hard enough that can smash the spirit of a true rebel.

With the wind we ride, our backs against the crushing wave, our determination carries us through, nothing can stop us now. No razorwire can hold us, no concrete or steel. We are one with the strength of a tornado, ripping through the land, nothing can stop us now…

Coyote
December 2009

Lost at Sea

2010-10-18T02:19:00.000-07:00

Here I am again, all alone, the solitary confines on my mind remain largely unknown. Lost on the desolate seas of hopelessness, absently I drift with no awareness of which direction I go. With a pelican’s plumage and a vat of octopus ink, and after turning dried up palm leaves into paper, I sit here and write these words from the greatest depths of loneliness, as I’m faced with the choice of either swimming with sharks, or staying confined to my raft all day…

Anyway, I had a good thing going on the last ship that I was on. I was amongst many fellow pirates, and had good study sessions and plenty of people to talk to, with a multitude of things to talk about. It was a very productive environment, where the treasure chest was full of sparkling gems of knowledge.

But unfortunately, I had to walk the plank, and that’s how I ended up on this lonely raft, lost at sea, you see? Removed from all my fellow pirates, I now sit here, alone with my thoughts.

It’s my fault though, you know? For trying to start a riot. I couldn’t help it though. The swine called one of my fellow pirates a “punk”. Those are words you just don’t use on these treacherous, deadly seas. And everybody knows you don’t use those words. And even though the swine wasn’t addressing me with those derogatories, I felt well enough disrespected to even hear those words slip out of a swine’s filthy mouth, and naturally, I took it as an opportunity to vent out some of my own existing frustrations against my captors. And so, yes I got off, and it felt good to get off. And there were plenty of fellow pirates ready to tear down the ship with me, and it nearly ensued into a larger disruption, until the swine came back, bowed down, and apologized.

But eventually, I was removed from my fellow pirates and forced to walk the plank. And then on my 32nd birthday, December 15th, 2009, the captors came back to my new ship and was sure to remove all of my fellow pirates I had on this ship, some who I haven’t seen for years, and who I was waiting to meet up with again. I guess they thought we were planning some type of mutiny together, or something. So, they made me walk the plank, leaving me isolated on this lonely raft, drifting on these swaying seas of hopelessness. Me, a social butterfly, left with no one to socialize with…

And so, now I use this time of solitude to write, read and reflect. Never letting the waves of despair crush me, or take me under. And now that I have no one to talk to, I hear myself having long, drawn out conversations with myself, in my own mind. In my head, I mean. I wonder if I should worry? I don’t know? But at least I’m not talking to myself out loud. I guess if I do that, that’s when I should start to worry. But then again, a lot of people talk to themselves, and they say it’s normal. But maybe they’re just in denial. Maybe that’s just the way they rationalize and justify the fact that they’re losing their minds. Or maybe I’m the one in denial, projecting my delusion on them, trying to rationalize it by saying, “well at least I don’t talk to myself out loud, like others do”. Am I losing my mind, or am I doing everything I can to preserve my sanity? That’s the question.

Well, I’ll be damned! It appears that I’ve landed ashore a deserted island! And there’s even a coconut tree! So it looks like I’m gonna make it, as I realize that carrying on these conversations in my head is actually a good thing, ‘cuz it lets me know that my mind is working, it’s active and flowing. So that’s good. These are just the workings of a productive mind. There’s no problem, I’m gonna be alright. All I need now is a volley ball with a hand print on it, and I’ll make it through this journey. Wilson, where are you? Wilson!

No more am I lost at sea, my mind is active, so I am free. Creativity. Productivity. These are the signs of a healthy mind. I look up at the twilight, and let the North Star guide me. I’ve found my way back home. I have direction, I have purpose and my sails are up and blowing, I’m on my way back home. My loneliness has strengthened me, and fortitude has once again carried me through. My sails are high and mighty, my spirits are too. I’m gonna be alright, I’m gonna make it through. I’m on my way back home…

The ocean is my only higher power. I was born and raised on the beach, saltwater runs through my veins. I’ve found my way back to shore, and that’s where I’m going, for sure! Thank you, Dear Ocean, for your guidance and strength. I am forever grateful and always in awe of your greatness.

Coyote
December 24th, 2009

Knowing Thyself

2010-10-18T02:15:00.000-07:00

“The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed in battle.” From this (super) maximum security cell it has become nearly impossible for me to pin down the name of the author who coined that phrase, but I recognize that this is a saying that I deeply resonate with. It’s very inspiring. Not only does it make me want to get down and do some “burpies”, but it also makes me want to get ready to face battle, ready for confrontation, ready for life.

There are many different kinds of battles in life. We battle to stay healthy, to stay sane, sober, to keep food on the table; to keep a roof over our heads, you name it. In these prisons and in these cells of isolation, we face battles nearly every day and for some of us, it’s these battles that help shape us into revolutionaries. We purge our fears and become guerrillas. We are engaged in a constant psychological battle; fighting off the long-term effects of sensory deprivation from being indeterminately isolated, while also fighting to maintain a sense of who we are and to keep a level of sanity as we are faced with constant madness and absurdity every day, trying to stay focused on greater goals!

Rather than just sitting here and eroding into the dust of nothingness, many of us use this time to train and prepare for the battles that await us – both the unseen and the foreseen – getting ready for whatever life has to throw at us, without fear or hesitation, because we have come to understand how conflict and struggle actually makes us stronger, gives us experience and helps us grow. So, we embrace these challenges, and we know that if everyday is a struggle, then everyday is a chance to gain strength, experience and insight.

For someone to sit in their cell and go on an endless search of truth and knowledge, as they study books and articles on things like philosophy, politics, strategy, psychology, science, religion, history and sociology, while taking a deep and analytical examination at their own life (past, present, future) and at life in general and at the universe, trying to figure things out for themselves, trying to find their place in this irrational universe and trying to know themselves; it’s definitely one of the realest things a person can do while being held as a prisoner in one of these cells.

A person who knows theirself is a real person. Having true knowledge of self is what distinguishes the real from the fake, and the determined souls from those who are just lost in the sauce, like dead fish: just going with the flow.

When we stop learning we stop growing and we stop living. We become stagnant, complacent and dead inside. Life becomes meaningless and mundane, and the mind goes blank and gets fuzzy, like static on a television screen.

So it’s important for our survival that we keep searching, keep training, keep learning, keep growing, keep living. Life is a beautiful thing, and the more we understand about ourselves and about life and the universe, the more we will appreciate, respect and enjoy life.

With a heart that’s solid and stout
And from someone who’s real,
Coyote
October 15th, 2009

Here’s a quote that I would like to share with you:

“However, the oppressed, who have adapted to the structure of domination in which they are immersed, and have become resigned to it, are inhibited from waging the struggle for freedom, so long as they feel incapable of running the risks it requires. Moreover, their struggle for freedom threatens not only the oppressor, but also their own oppressed comrades who are fearful of still greater repression. When they discover within themselves the yearning to be free, they perceive that this yearning can be transformed into reality only when the same yearning is aroused in their comrades. But while dominated by the fear of freedom, they refuse to appeal to others, or listen to the appeal of others, or even the appeals of their own conscience. They prefer gregariousness to authentic comradeship; they prefer the security of conformity with their state of unfreedom to the creative communion produced by freedom and even the very pursuit of freedom.”

From the book “The Pedagogy of the Oppressed”
By Paulo Freire

A Message to the Young Soldiers

2010-09-13T11:00:00.000-07:00

A message to the young soldiers trying to maintain their existence in these dungeons:

Keep it real, not because the realness in you and the realness in all that you do will certainly shine through and will be embraced, felt and recognized by all that's true and will come back and shine on you in a good light - which is all true - but be real, because that's who and what you are and because that's the only way to be!

Be true to yourself and to all those who are true to you. Keep your head on straight, listen and learn. Soak up knowledge, try to apply it when you can, and
always strive to heighten your awareness on all things significant. Keep that love for life beating strongly in your unbreakable heart and always strive to reach greater heights.

Purge fear and embrace experience, because it's through our experiences in life that we gain insight. Learn from your mistakes, and most importantly, from the mistakes of others. Cultivate yourself by recognizing your flaws and striving to turn them into strengths, and by rooting out your insecurities. Stay sharp like the razor-wire that contains you; like a samurai's sword. Remember that everything isn't always what it appears to be (actions speak louder than words), so be an avid seeker of truth and consciousness. Be open, but reserved. Be ready, but restrained. Be observant, but silent (loose lips sink ships). Don't whine, cry or complain about your unfortunate situations, but have fortitude instead. Be considerate. Be mindful. Always be respectful of the comrades who have been putting it down way before you ever came on to the scene.

Stay focused, goal orientated and be bold (but not stupid). Keep your heart set on trueness, and your mind on things that are realistic and on things that matter. Use this time as an opportunity to grow and learn. Come to know yourself, your enemy, pain, struggle, love and hate and learn from all these things.
Life is real, never forget that!

But the most important message I want to tell you is this:
When you can find self-gratification and satisfaction in your own achievements and within yourself, you don't need to look for it in others. You don't need other people to assure you that you're hard, or that you're real, or any of that. You have
to set standards for yourself and try to achieve them (whether you fail or succeed, the only person who needs to know, is you), never being satisfied, always raising the bar higher and higher. That's how you grow, excel and become stronger and more self-aware. If you're just doing shit to show others what you're made of, then you're not real homie.

Until it's time to step onto "the battlefield', the only person who needs to know that you're a "H.C.M.F." (Hard Core Mutha Fucka!) is you!!!

Solidarity and respects,
Coyote

In This Wretched World

2010-08-23T02:38:00.000-07:00

In this wretched world of darkness and despair it's the codes that we live by that separate the real from the fake, and it's the actions we carry out and the good deeds we do that define us and solidify our respect to that code.

Those who work against us and against the solidarity of what we believe, especially when working in cooperation with those who keep us captive and oppressed, are not only considered to be fakes, but are also counter-productive to the survival of our comradery and are therefore unworthy of our recognition.

"Solidarity", not only the word, but also the idea is nothing but a dwindling memory of something that used to be, once upon a time, long ago. And we who hold on so tightly to the integrity of what once was, are of a dying breed. In this wretched world of foulness and deterioration we will surely find ourselves outnumbered and surrounded and persecuted by the foul and the fake, and because we hold on so vigorously to what we believe, taking direct action against all that is counterproductive and detrimental to the realness of our lives, we will do most of our time on "lock down", enduring all kinds of torment, suffer and psychological oppression, striving daily to be strong enough to prevail and overcome these potentially drastic circumstances. Because we hold on so firmly to the codes we live by and to what we feel and know to be real to us, we will have to learn the ways of fortitude in order to survive loneliness and long hours of isolation and solitary confinement.

And it is in these hours of confinement that we must use this time to study, learn, cultivate and know ourselves. True soldiers, under these circumstances, always find ways to take this time in solitary and treat it as an opportunity to educate and elevate themselves, and to keep their bodies combat-ready and their minds as sharp as hatori hanzo swords. It is known, without saying, that this time on "lock down", is the time and place to get our minds right and our game tight.

And that's exactly why you will always find me reaching out to a real soldier, passing him literature of his desire, which without a doubt beholds real gems of truth and knowledge so that he can use it to cultivate himself and take his growth and development to higher realms of thought and action. This is one of the many things that I do to keep the level of consciousness raised around here, because conscious people are real people, and do real things, and because I've found in my own life and experiences that consciousness is a savior. And passing out literature to all these different comrades also preserves the integrity and the realness of the codes and the principles we live by.

It's deeper than that though; it's an act of love and an act of solidarity. We are being buried alive in these graveyards, drowning in pools of stagnation and filth. Minds are wasting away in these hellholes, our lives are considered to be worthless to the majority of the people in society. Nobody cares about us, and so sometimes we find it hard to even care about ourselves.

So therefore, I will do what I can to improve the quality of life amongst my peers. We are basically all in the same situation. But some of us are surviving, and others are breaking weak and falling off and have gotten to the point of no return. So I've definitely got some good literature to pass out and some real conversation for a person in here who keeps the joy for life beating strongly inside of their determined hearts.

With the help of a couple of beautiful and compassionate friends on the outs, I have been able to accumulate boxes and boxes of good, insightful and empowering literature on almost all and any subject, and for all kinds of different people in here. My good, loyal friends on the outs have made copies for me of all these different materials and mailed them back in to me so that I can pass copies of all this literature out to all who crave this knowledge and to those who appreciate these gems being handed to them. When I see that someone appreciates the love I've dropped on them, I'll recognize it for what it's. worth and I'll keep dropping love on them.

In this wretched world of perversion and predation we've got to rise above the madness, look out for each other and be real with each other, working together to overcome the daily destruction and oppression. These are real struggles and we've got to stick together through hard times, real recognizing real and steel sharpening steel. We've got to become more organized and dedicated to taking control of our own lives and finding positive solutions to deal with the negative aspects of our everyday realities. We've got to strive for bigger and better things. It's about solidarity. It's about love. It's about respect for the integrity of what's real, in regards to the survival of our existence, in this cold, lonely, wretched world...

With revolutionary love,
Coyote ABC-Nevada Prison Chapter
Sept. 15th, 2009

quote: "The radical, committed to human liberation, does not become the prisoner of a "circle of certainty" within which reality is imprisoned. On the contrary, the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can better transform it.

This individual is not afraid to confront, to listen, to see the world unveiled. This person is not afraid to meet the people or to enter into dialogue with them. This person does not consider himself or herself the proprietor of history or of all people, or the liberator of the oppressed; but he or she does commit himself or herself, within history, to fight at their side."

Paulo Freire, from his book: "The pedagogy of the oppressed"

It Ain't Real No More, Homie

2010-07-14T12:31:00.001-07:00

Nothing will change without bloodshed and sacrifices. We sit here wasting away in this wasteland, wondering how things got so bad, but nobody thinks about what we can do to make things better. It's easy to put all the blame on the system and the pigs, but nobody wants to recognize their own role in this struggle, nobody wants to acknowledge that they are actually participating in this destruction, nobody wants to admit that they are actually contributing to the daily deterioration. I don't see nobody standing up for what they have coming (their rights to be treated as a human being, with dignity, respect, fairness, justice, etc.), I don't see anybody standing up for anything on a conscious or collective level. But I hear everybody always complaining about all the foulness that constantly goes on around here.

There are no George Jacksons around here, no Che Guevaras, no Bobby Sands around here. Everything I see out here in Nevada is fake, sorry and weak. Nobody wants to ride for a real cause, nobody wants to put their lives on the line or risk catching more time for this fakeness around here. Everybody wants to be a "gangster" but nobody wants to live by those codes, everybody wants to be "real" but they let fake and foul cats kick it, embracing these dudes knowing they're no good and that they're counter~productive to all that we are supposed to consider righteous and real.

Nobody wants to clean nothing up, taking care of the biz that needs to be taken care of. Nobody wants to fight the real fight, come together and take it to the real enemy. Everybody has all the excuses in the world, all the justifications for doing what they know in their hearts they ain't supposed to be doing and then they want to go around trying to convince everybody that they're real. Come on, man. Ain't nothing real about none of this crap around here. Ain't nobody dying for this, ain't nobody in here killing for this, catching cases, making sacrifices, trying to push the envelope to make this better for "you and yours", to preserve what's real and reject all that's not; the things that are hurting us and destroying us every day.

Things are foul 'cuz we let it be foul. So if you let it get like this - or if you let it stay like this - then don't complain about it, nobody respects that. The only thing people respect is action and the only thing that's gonna change this is struggle and sacrifice, and people have to be wholeheartedly committed to seeking realistic solutions, going all the way, until we've got it right!
And so, until all of the so~called "real mothafuckas" start learning what "real" reallymeans, without trying to justify the bullshit, this is always gonna be sorry and weak, and all that you see, and everything you say you stand for is gonna be fake, until you start getting real for reals. Things won't change if we sit back and do nothing. The oppression is real, the deterioration is real, the destruction and suffering and the atrocity are all real, but our response to it isn't, our dedication and determination to changing it, is not real!!

Everybody needs to get their heads out their asses and get their priorities straight before we can do anything about this. We need to organize ourselves and our people (and each other) under real principles and do all that we can to uphold those principles to the fullest and with integrity. We need to uplift ourselves and others, school our younger comrades on some real concepts, educate our comrades, give them a revolutionary understanding too.

Show then how this is supposed to be, how things are supposed to be, how things are supposed to go down, lead by example and teach through actions, strive for real changes to make the quality of life better for "you and yours", try to change the conditions of our confinement, bring our people out of their self, destructive and counter-productive mentalities and work to replace that with knowledge, understanding and amelioration. We need to stand up for what we have coming, for what's right, respectable and real, not setting for no bullshit, and not letting our comrades get away with no bullshit, we have to be seriously committed in breaking them out of those weak, counter-productive mentalities, and we have to do what we can to help them help themselves.
Until we are ready to make real sacrifices, this will continue to be foul and it will keep getting worse. How can we call ourselves real when we're allowing ourselves to live under all of this fakeness, accepting this foulness, man? There's nothing real about this. That's why I'm writing this piece, this is a wake' up call! We need to wake up and get real.

Let's strive for consciousness and truthful understanding, let's take action and be committed to bringing significance and meaning to our lives. Let's destroy all this old, watered down, weak stuff that we've been holding on to for so long, and that we thought was real and let's build on top of a solid foundation and let's organize around the fundamentals and principles of truth and betterment, full speed ahead with a revolutionary understanding, and let's not falter from what we know is right. It's gonna take a real level of struggle and sacrifice, doing whatever it takes as we strive for freedom, justice, respect and to be treated like we actually matter. This is about taking control of our own lives!

If you're reading this and you're feeling this, then get with the program. Don't just sit back and say "Yeah, that's real talk man, I feel that." If you feel it, do it! Take direct action, take up this cause, start up your own cause, take up the struggle and organize people around this realness. Get it cracking, don't wait for others to do it, but you must be the force that's needed, the spark that ignites the fire as you try to burn this mothafucka down! Get it cracking, don't wait comrade, do it now!!!

I'm just touching the surface, but everybody knows what I'm talking about. Everybody knows this ain't real no more. So now it's time to get real, it's time to get it cracking on a serious note!

Coyote, 2010 Anarchist Black Cross Nevada Prison Chapter

Quote: "Organizing and teaching are the same. They both involve the question of how people learn things. They both involved dialogue. They both involve long-term commitment and perspective. They both involve people in changing their lives. And the teacher/organizer is always learning. " Mark Rudd, from his interview in Z Magazine, by Bill Nevins, entitled: "Fortunate Rebel Son"

Amelioration

2010-07-14T12:26:00.000-07:00

As I sit back, reflect and let my thoughts flow, many things percolate to my mind's cortical surface, keeping me attentively entertained and intellectually stimulated. In these locked down situations, it's absolutely imperative for me to take the necessary measures to keep my mind right, because I've learned - through trial and error - that when I'm unable to stay focused on positive and productive activities, I'm most likely to get caught up in negative and unproductive and sometimes even counterproductive activities. When that happens, I'm not surviving, but rather I'm slipping, letting myself get took under by the merciless current of self~destruction.

So, I'm just sitting here thinking, letting my thoughts be fluent and making sure to stay acutely focused on the things that pertain to my day~to~day survival, trying to get through this daily psychological Vietnam, trying to ameliorate myself. Some people like to still their minds, but me, I like to keep my mind active and constantly flowing.

One of the things that grabbed a "kung fu death grip" hold on my attention today was a quote that I read by Napoleon Bonaparte that goes like this: "DEATH IS NOTHING, BUT TO LIVE DEFEATED IS TO DIE EVERYDAY".

Those are words that I resonate with. Tome, that means that once you die, that's it, it's over, ya estuvo, your life becomes nothing. You're gone, you've faded to black. So while you're alive, you might as well take care of what you need to take care of, be real with your comrades and loved ones and try to enjoy life and appreciate the time you have.

But if you're living like a defeated person, then you're not living; you're already dead and every day that you wake up, you die again.

I would rather die once than to die every day. I'd rather die now, than to live the rest of my life waking up already dead. I would rather die than live as a defeated man.

Death is nothing, we all die, in fact, the only thing promised to us in life is death. So we might as well accept it, face it, embrace it and know that we can't cheat it. I believe that with this acceptance and understanding, we are able to live our lives out more fully, having no fear and illusions.

So I try to live with the understanding that as long as my tenable and tenacious heart thumps passionately with furious resistance and undying love, then I haven't been defeated. Because as long as I can find one thing in this world that I can love and appreciate, and as long as I have something that my heart beats for, while I remain unwilling to allow myself to be consumed by hate, then I've remained unconquerable.

I'm trying to keep life and love flowing through my arteries, I'm trying to appreciate the time I have, the breath I breathe and the life I live, and I'm trying to enjoy it. As long as I'm living by the principles that I'm willing to die for, without compromise or sacrifice, then I haven't been defeated. I believe that when you value your way of life and the friendships you've made, so much, that you feel those things are worth dying for; you're living your life to the fullest! Because I believe that having nothing to die for is having nothing to live for.

Even under these inhumane conditions I'm able to recognize, acknowledge and find beauty in life, making it a penetrating point to keep a strong sense of self and of life flowing through my veins. These are the things that keep me grounded, and these are the things that I keep in my heart, vibrating, pulsating, thumping to the rhythmic beat of life, while having to overcome struggles and heartbreaks only to come out stronger, wiser and more refined, and then trying to use that same strength and wisdom to assist others in their times of hardship, pain and struggle.

And of course there are many things about this life and this place that I hate, but I allow my hate to exist and to live, because sometimes it's good and sometimes it's necessary, and because all of my emotions are an extension of me, but I make sure to keep it minimized.

Lately, I've been doing a couple of things to try to better myself and to stay active. One of the things I do is something that I call "PUSH~ UPS AND PARAGRAPHS", and the other thing that I'm constantly doing are logic puzzles.

Push~ups and paragraphs: Basically, what I do is I'll find an article to read (something educational), and after I finish reading a paragraph I'll get down and do (10) ten push~ups. And I will continue to do (10) ten push~ups after each and every paragraph I read, until I've finished reading the entire article. When I'm done, the count usually comes out to about a total of 500~600 push~ups. I'll do this every day, sometimes reading the same articles over and over again each day, which helps me to retain knowledge, and sometimes reading a different article each day. It's just a way for me to cultivate myself by exercising both my mind and my body at the same time, and it's also a way for me to be productive and appreciative of the time I have in this world, not letting myself be defeated by my circumstances.

As far as the logic puzzles go, Dell puts out a magazine that you can subscribe to called: "Logic Lover's Logic Problems" (have your people subscribe you to these logic puzzle magazines: "pennydellpuzzles.com"). There are over 100 puzzles in each magazine, so if you do (1) one puzzle every day, then you're exercising your brain every day for 100 days. I have to do at least one every day, mandatory, but I usually do 2 or 3 a day. It's one of the best ways that someone in solitary can strengthen their brain! It's like playing chess with yourself, but better! Your brain is like a muscle, and the more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Logic puzzles are like bench presses for the brain. It causes you to think and to figure things out, using deductive reasoning, and most of all it open the floodgates of your brain, allowing you to be more logical and sharp in all areas of your life. It's definitely an LQ. booster and it allows your mind to be active and to flow! It's definitely a healthy way to spend an hour or two of your day while locked down in a cell, because not only does it keep you from deteriorating mentally, but it keeps you sharp, like a razor's edge! And if you're staying sharp under these dull circumstances, then you're definitely winning, not allowing yourself to be taken under or defeated! So those are just 2 of the things I've been doing lately to stay afloat and to keep my sword sharpened.

Here's another Napoleon quote that I resonate with: "A TREE WITH NO BRANCHES BEARS NO FRUIT"

I like that because I'm definitely trying to branch out and be fruitful. That's what life's about to me: branching out, bearing fruit, making meaningful connections and truthful connections, never having superficial friendships, each one teach one, steel sharpening steel, being real and staying true while getting involved in various endeavors that are sure to produce good results.

The more branches on your tree, the more fruit, and everybody can come to my tree and eat from it, we can have picnics under my tree, people can sit under my tree and duck down in the shade for a while, relaxing and letting their minds be fluent and free. They can climb up my tree, swing from the branches, all that. My tree is the tree of knowledge, the tree of life.

Currently, I might be locked down, in supermaximum custody, and all strained up on HIGH RISK POTENTIAL status, going through all kinds of harassment and all that, but it doesn't even matter, because in the far reaches of my minds imagination, I'm sitting under a tree, somewhere near the sea, smoking on a fat one, some of that good, top shelf, "Pineapple Trainwreck" bud, munching on a juicy nectarine that I just pulled off of one of my branches, sitting in the relaxing shade, with the cool ocean breeze blowing on my face, just getting high on life!

In my heart and in my mind, I know I've got to stay productive, I've got to stay active, letting the liquid thoughts of my mind forever flow and always striving to better myself and others, spreading my dexterous branches, participating in fruit~bearing activities, not fearing death, but loving life, and living it. It's all about amelioration! Look that word up in your dictionary, add it to your vocabulary and apply it in your everyday life: amelioration. It's a beautiful word when applied.

And these words are written, from the pain that turned to love, and it's that same love that I now give to you as a gift from my heart. I close as I opened: with all my love!

Coyote, Ely State Prison November 5th, 2009

Drop me a line or two, show me some love, give me some words of encouragement. I'm not allowed to receive letters from other prisoners, but I'd like to hear from everybody, everywhere. You can reach me at this address: Coyote Sheff #55671 P.O. Box 1989 Ely, Nevada 89301-1989

Keep the Struggle Up

2010-07-14T12:22:00.000-07:00

We have been slammed down, oppressed and confined to these prisons, ghettos and graveyards. Our stories and our lessons are manicured by the epidemics of pain, poverty, discrimination and struggle. We get poorer and the rich get richer as the story goes. There's no justice, no rehabilitation, no freedom. We are taken to court on trumped up, bogus shit, given 20 charges for one incident, bullied into taking a 'deal', and then we are appointed a public defender 'cuz we don't have the money to acquire a more sufficient attorney, and one year the person who is supposed to be representing us is a public defender, and then the next year that same person is a district attorney! So how could we really trust these people? How could we trust them with our lives? How could we be so willing to put our freedom in their hands?

It doesn't make sense to repetitively place our lives and our freedom into the malefic hands of people who actually despise us. Will there ever come a time when we can start taking control of our own lives? When we can stop depending on the same people that oppress us, to help us? Is there any legitimate, respectable way to get ourselves out of the deleterious grips of this death machine? Is there any way to end these sentences of perpetual suffering? All the questions that come to me while I marinate in this lonely world of darkness, reflecting on the many sorrows I've seen. So many questions, but hardly enough answers.

The frustration leads me to sit up on my bunk and start strategizing on different ways that I can possibly try to encourage my comrades in here to start taking the initiative to study and learn the law. I have a Xerox copy of Mumia Abu Jamal's new book, Jailhouse Lawyers and I pass it out to others, trying to use it as a tool to inspire prisoners to learn how to become attorneys for the poor and oppressed. I sit here and wonder, "What else can I do? What clever ways are there to inspire people to study, to get them to learn?". Wouldn't it be great if we could become our own attorneys, or would it even matter?

I've held study groups and had many one-on-one study sessions with comrades in here, where we've sat around for hours talking and debating, searching for tangible ways to represent ourselves and to learn how to bring ourselves out of this state of oppression, and to eliminate oppression and poverty altogether. To break through the barriers, to rise above the tragedies. Right now it's just talk, but later who knows what it will be? Everything starts in the mind, one things leads to another.

In this graveyard, it's so hard to get books sent in and literature, because the administration has deliberately set so many obstacles and put so many restrictions and limits on things when it comes to receiving books that so many people in here have become discouraged and ended up giving up on trying to get books sent in. But I've been on an adamant missions for years to acquire all the literature I can get sent in to me, and to pass it out to as many people as I can, trying to turn this graveyard into a revolutionary university, so people in here can take all this time they have on their hands and use it to elevate their minds, reaching for higher degrees of learning, finding liberation through books. I love to be involved in all of these various acts of raising consciousness, I feel it's so necessary in these times and situations. Not to mention that I've seen the lengths these pigs will go to make sure they're keeping us confined to ignorance and stagnation. Books and reading materials are so important for us here, we who dwell in this gloomy world of degeneration.

I pass out literature on philosophy, politics, psychology, science, spirituality and I'm always passing out revolutionary materials too, and whatever else I can get, having study sessions when I can, discussing things with my neighbors for long hours into the night, all the way until my breakfast tray arrives, and sometimes, if the conversation is really good, I'll eat and talk at the same time, every once in a while setting the tray down to pick up a book, or an article, so that I can read a passage, sentence, or paragraph out loud to my neighbor, to reinforce the stance I'm taking on certain subjects, or to help get my point across more clearly. I love to learn, I love to teach and I love to engage others. I crave the intellectual stimulation, and I can tell they crave it too.

We are here, confined to these cells, but we've found ways to communicate and express ourselves, to soak up knowledge and pass it on to others who we've deemed worthy of receiving such valuable gems. It's miserable and depressing in here, so much atrocity and deterioration, but we've found ways to make the best out of a bad situation. We understand that we should never just lay down and accept this. We understand that we have to keep the spirit of resistance going strong inside of us, seeking solutions, striving for freedom, making sacrifices when the situation requires us to do so, and never giving up, never breaking down. Everybody that I consider a comrade understands this, and with this understanding we try to reach those that don't understand, but who really need to understand. With understanding things are made clear, and when that happens, change happens.

You'll find some of the most brilliant, most creative, most intelligent, most resourceful and most innovative individuals right here, confined to these hellholes. That's what happens when we have all this time on our hands, with the fire of resistance burning in our hearts. We've been discarded by society and caged like animals, left to rot and decay, to deteriorate and fade away into a black abyss, to disintegrate into tiny fragments of nothingness. But we are here, alive and fighting to maintain our existence, going strong, with love beating in our chests. Revolutionary love. We keep that warrior spirit alive, and these pigs fear it, they hate it, and they envy it and that's why they're always trying everything they can to try to crush it, break it, tame it and destroy it, but no matter how hard they try, or what they do, there's not much they can do to take that away from us.

Books and knowledge give us breath, it pumps life into our veins and activate our brains. With knowledge we are invigorated, rejuvenated and made worthy. Knowledge gets us going, knowledge is what sets us free. We use these books to quench our thirst and to feed our hunger.

Through these trials and painful situations I've come to learn the lessons of struggle and the importance of a revolutionary, underground education. I've learned how vital it is to my survival to be able to keep the fire of resistance burning in my heart. I've come to learn about sacrifice, solidarity and fortitude. I've got little baby cousins, nephews and nieces that I haven't even met yet, I've fucked off my release date many times already, catching more time on my prison sentence for taking stands against these pigs and their injustices done to us. It's hard for me to turn my back on the struggle. I've recently participated in a brutal riot here on my unit and I've got 2 years left before I go home, and now I've getting letters from my moms and my brother, asking me what the hell am I doing, don't I want to come home? They've made sacrifices for me, to help get me out of here, spending money on attorneys for me and everything, and yet I'm still in here caught up in the struggle and I'm conflicted, I want to go home, but I just can't sit back as my fellow comrades stand up and make sacrifices to make important changes for everybody else. My family doesn't understand my commitment to the struggle and it breaks my heart just as I know it breaks their heart to watch me do things that will jeopardize my release date.

But now I realize that the struggle is going to continue whether I'm in here or out there, and after all that I've been through and all that I've done, I am so lucky to still have the chance to get out of here. And now it's time to go home. It's for me to get out of here and do this from the other side of the razor wire.

I'm gonna do what I can to plant seeds and raise awareness while I´m still here because it´s impossible to overlook all the atrocity that's going on around me every day. I see all these youngsters coming to prison now, little dudes as young as 14 years old! There's no true leadership or anything meaningful in here for them to latch onto and it kills me. I see all the fakeness and foulness around here, and I'm always railing against it, trying to raise consciousness to these real issues we're faced with. The mentality of some of these cats around here is hard for me to grasp and seems "suspect" in my eyes. The way they think, the way they act, I'm not feeling it. If you're not striving for change or seeking solutions, or trying to elevate yourself,. then what are you doing?

All I can say is that I got love for the real cats in here, I feel for them, especially the ones that have to stay here, I feel for them and will always keep them in my heart, recognizing them as kindred spirits.

I've done all can to stock up all the comrades in here with good literature and to raise consciousness around here. I've been going at it so hard that I ended up losing 2. good friends out there who acted as my main benefactors: Gina and Katy. They couldn't do it anymore, couldn't afford to keep making copies of books and literature for me, they couldn't afford to keep buying books for my comrades in here, and it got to the point where they would dread getting a letter from me because I was always asking them to support me with this project or that project, on a mission to try to flood this prison with as much literature and educational materials as I can. They just couldn't do it anymore. I feel bad that I won´t be receiving letters from these beautiful, compassionate warrioresses anymore, I feel bad that I've become so obsessed with my mission to raise awareness that I failed to take into consideration their needs and limitations. I really miss them.

So as one- door closes, I guess it´s time to look on to new things and start focusing on my release date. I have to figure what I'm gonna do when I get out of here, how can I keep the struggle up from the other side of the fence, and things like that. I don't have no plans on getting rich or anything like that, I don't care about none of that. I´ve been in solitary long enough to know that I don't need lots of money to survive, so that's one lesson I´ll be taking to the streets. I just want to be real and live right, helping when I can. I have a lot to figure out and a lot to think about, 2 years to go, so close, yet so far away…

Until then, I will continue writing these essays, articles and zines, and things like that. This is my contribution to the struggle., I'm gonna let people know what's going on, what we´re going through in these hellholes, I'm gonna keep spreading the truth whether these pigs like it or not, because the truth is dangerous! The truth is revolutionary! The revolution starts in our minds, so let's get free, one mind at a time! My love goes out to all the people out there who have committed themselves to our struggles in here. Keep doing what you do, keep the struggle alive, keep it up.

If you want to be hard, you gotta go hard!

Coyote, 2010

Quote: "Our expressive powers were strong and vibrant. if this could be nurtured, if the language skills could be developed on top of this, we could learn to break through any communication barrier. We needed to obtain victories in language built on infrastructure of self-worth.”
Luis Rodriguez (from his book: Always Running: La Vida Loca, Gang Days in L.A.) Good book, read it!

The Tiger’s Song

2010-07-14T12:16:00.000-07:00

I'm a tiger, I pace my cage
Never forgetting who I am
An apex predator filled with rage
On solid ground I stand

My heart is hardened, I am steel
There's no emotion that I feel
My essence has been recognized;
And I am real

I am patient and I'm wise
Always biding my time
I can't be tamed, I remain uncivilized
Never changing my heart or mind
Through my actions I am defined

You can put me in the tiniest cage
And take all my things away
Surround me with screamers and bangers
Doing everything you can to invoke my anger
And to make me feel pain
You can strip me naked, cold and bare
And starve me if you dare
You can whip me until I bleed
And my bones are broken
I really don't care

You can try as hard as you like
Using all your might
But it doesn't matter what you do
You can't change me
You can't tame or break me
I'm a tiger, I will fight
I'm a tiger, I will strike
You can't break me I'm alright!!!

Coyote
ABC-Nevada Prison Chapter
December 7th, 2009
Ely State Prison, Nevada

Solidarity and Struggle: more on the E.S.P. Jan. 31st Riot

2010-03-10T00:33:00.000-08:00

This was published in the SF Bay View, March 21st 2010

Yes, it was a battle. My first report on this riot gave people an ugly look into the violence and bloodshed. I´ve reported it the way it happened, but nothing is to be glorified or celebrated here. It felt good to be a part of struggle and change, to see solidarity in action. You don´t see unity and struggle in these Nevada prisons, not in these days. Only under the most extreme situations will you catch a glimpse of it. It should not have ever gotten this far, or taken to such extremes, our grievances should´ve been looked into and taken seriously, and officers should have never provoked or assaulted any of the prisoners on unit 4. But that didn´t happen, our pleas were ignored, our grievances denied and prisoners were unnecessarily assaulted. So in desperation after every other remedy had been futilely sought, all we had left was violence and frustration. I was wrong to call it a victory though. There´s no victory here.

I´m sure people on the outs who read my report were shocked at my cold and heartless attempt at describing the details of the incident. And probably took umbrage. I can understand how people out there could feel that way. Fortunately, they didn´t live in a world of predation, despair, violence, corruption, oppression and madness. They don´t know about the effects of long-term isolation and confinement, or about sensory deprivation and the effects that psychological warfare has on our minds in this warped environment. They don´t understand the wicked nature of prison and punishment and what it can do to a person. And they don´t want to believe what this place has been known to do to these guards, how it has the capabilities of turning the guards into spiteful and uncaring animals. How they become vindictive and petty, mean and aggressive, fearful and disrespectful. They didn´t see how after each cell extraction the guards would gather in the unit hallway, high-fiving each other as they would physically display how they punched, stomped or beat the inmate into submission.

So, no offense to anyone, but if you haven´t lived in this foul-ass world of darkness and deterioration, then it´s not fair to judge it by your standards. Your standards don´t apply here in this concrete and steel jungle. We play by jungle rules in here, the guards and prisoners alike, and it´s called “the survival of the fittest.” We maintain an “us against them”-mentality sometimes. I´m not glorifying it, I´m not praising it, I´m just trying to shed light on it, so people can be aware of the cruel and unloving nature of life in a graveyard.

For years, myself and others have been trying to bring positive changes to this prison, we´ve been trying to get people on the outs involved, attempting to bring a solid level of outside support to Nevada prisoners. I´ve also been actively educating, politicizing and organizing other prisoners, in Nevada, Texas, Ohio and other states. I´ve been passing out literature, supplying the prison with books and educational materials, teaching prisoners to read, teaching them to write, showing them how to be resourceful and self-sufficient. I´ve been doing all I can to raise consciousness and I´ve been trying to turn every tier that I land on into a learning center, and doing everything I can to help prisoners. Whites, Blacks, Natives and Latinos. I´ve reached out to them all in real ways, striving to make real efforts at change, elevation and empowerment. Myself and other prisoners in here have been known to organize study groups, having study sessions, engaging each other, quizzing each other, and testing each other intellectually, utilizing this time on lockdown as an opportunity to grow, learn and cultivate ourselves while living under such extreme conditions.

Other prisoners in here have been doing similar things. Like for example, a prisoner here at E.S.P. just recently organized a stamp drive on his tier to donate to the victims of the Haiti earthquake, and he even donated $40 of his own money to the people of Haiti. So there are indeed many positive and productive things that do go on in this hellhole as well. It´s not all negative and violent. Unfortunately though, anything good that we try to get going in here, we have to do it ourselves. We don´t expect any help or support from the guards or prison administration.

I´ll be the first to say that violence isn´t always the best option. Usually it´s the last resort, or the result of desperation and what usually happens under the most extreme conditions. All our attempts to grieve, kite, or complain about our injustices through the proper channels have been futile, and left us feeling hopelessly outraged. If you take a look at the history of all the American riots and uprisings – in prisons and on the streets – like the L.A. riots, the Watts riot, Lucasville, Attica, New Mexico, and the Cubans in the federal prisons, and even the recent one in Oakland, where an Oakland police officer, Johannes Mesehrle, fatally shot a civilian, Oscar Grant, in the back, while he lay face down on the ground with his hands cuffed behind him. You will see that these riots have either happened in areas where people were living under extreme conditions. While sick and tired of the injustices and police brutality, or in places and conditions where people were frustrated and desperate, and in these situations it seemed that riots and uprisings were the only available course of action they had to express their hopelessness and outrage.

Here in unit 4, at Ely State Prison, many tensions were increasingly building up. A lot of retaliation against prisoners by the guards and many other injustices created a potentially hostile situation. This riot did not happen solely because our appliances were unjustly taken from us. Some of these guards in here were deliberately refusing to feed certain prisoners in retaliation of grievances they wrote and because the guards realized that these particular inmates were shunned by the rest of the convicts for internal reasons: these guards were also going out of their way to provoke and instigate prisoners, rudely jumping into our conversations with disrespectful remarks, “losing” or throwing away phone kites, passing our mail out to the wrong cells, (some of these cells which housed sex offenders and “undesirables”), refusing to answer our kites, not taking over grievances seriously. In some cases, guards have even assaulted and injured certain inmates while in cuffs, because of grievances they wrote, and again, because these guards realized that these prisoners were shunned by the rest of the convicts for being informants, or sex offenders, “undesirables,” etc. Our appliances were unjustly taken for violations that occurred before the new rule change was in effect, or for minor or general violations, and even prisoners who were found “not guilty” had their appliances confiscated as well. Leaving us in our cells with basically nothing, while surrounding us by mentally ill prisoners and informants and protective custody inmates, who deliberately go out of their way to terrorize us through the means of noise, verbal abuse and psychological warfare. We were deprived of the opportunity to buy food, coffee and other necessary supplies off of the canteen, while being left with no choice but to eat the foul-smelling / foul-tasting “mystery meat” and rotten vegetables that we are served for lunch every day, just to keep ourselves from starving in here.

They´ve put unnecessary limits and restrictions on our phone calls, and on our visits, allowing us only one non-contact visit a month, with family only, causing a painful strain on our relations and communications with our family, friends and loved ones. This prison is located out in the middle of nowhere as it is, 4 hours away from the nearest big city, what´s the point of having our people drive all the way up here and back (you know how much gas costs these days?) just to talk to your loved one through a plexi-glass window for half a day? There´s only like 7 rooms that facilitate these non-contact visits, so if 10 people get visits in one day, the remaining 3 are burnt, and their families will drive all the way back home for nothing! We need all the love and support we can get from our own people on the outs, these are very important social ties to have and to stay connected to our families, and with the outside world. They´ve even went as far as illegally denying our right to receive books sent in from the outside, even dictionaries! And there´s so much more, everything just added up.

Every time we´ve tried to address the issues through the proper channels, they would retaliate on us, and even fabricate things to justify what they were doing, and they would completely ignore us. Weeks would go by before they´d supply the unit with kites and law library request forms, or first level grievances. Neither these guards nor the administration wanted to do anything to even try to fix these problems, and they were basically letting us know that they were gonna do whatever they wanted, regardless, making our situation see, desperate.

Then, it all jumped off when they came to take away a prisoner´s appliances for a write up he received. The prisoner refused to cuff-up because he wanted to speak with the lieutenant to try to resolve this issue. The Lt. showed up with a squad of officers dressed in riot gear and helmets. The prisoner tried to comply and wanted to cuff-up, but this is someone the guards have been wanting to get their hands on for a while, none of the other prisoners really spoke to this guy, so I guess the guards had assumed he was shunned by the rest of the convicts, so they figured they had no reason to fear retaliation. They cracked his door open in spite of his attempt and willingness to comply, and ran in on him, he put his hands up in the air, refusing to resist or fight back and they tore his ass up! They beat him so bad that they ended up dragging him to the infirmary as he was leaking blood everywhere.

Many of us were already exasperated about the hopelessness of our situation and all the foul treatment we´ve been receiving and we used this drastic situation as an opportunity to exert desperate measures. Two minutes of talking amongst ourselves led to two days of rioting. It´s all we had left. We felt the need to stand up for ourselves and for our rights to be treated fairly, with dignity and respect. We were frustrated and needed to get these frustrations out, and we didn´t see any other available option.

Whites and several Latinos kicked it off on the first day, flooding, burning, capturing foul slots, popping sprinkler heads, forcing them to come in our cells and extract us, so we could fight them. And we fought hard, and they were even more brutal towards us! Until, allegedly an officer on the extraction team got stabbed. They didn´t want to fight no more after that. The Blacks agreed to riot on the second day, but by then, we all felt that we got our point across, the guards showed defeat, so we called it off. This could have went on for days, or even weeks, but we felt that this was enough for now, every guard on the extraction team received injuries, and one was even stabbed from what I hear, every prisoner involved was brutally beat by the officers, which led to the Lt and another officer getting fired!

So we figured enough had been done already, no need to go on.

Year after year it´s been take, take, take. The administration is always taking something away from us, without giving anything in return: no programs, no real educational or vocational opportunities, no incentive, nothing. They take a little here, take a little there, slowly but surely stripping us of everything. They know better to take it all at once, so instead they´ll take one thing now, and then, a few months later they´ll take away something else, and when they see that none of us are coming together to try to stop them from taking away our privileges and necessities, they´ll take more. It´s the game of “take-away.” Subtraction is their favorite math subject. They don´t know how to add, divide, or multiply, except for when they´re adding more rules and more restrictions, dividing us so that we can be conquered, or multiplying the number of beds, other than that, it´s all a game of take-away.

Everybody has been hearing about Ely State Prison in the news, and websites have sprung up because of all the things that have been going on here in this graveyard. All of the many injustices and everything else that has been going on here clearly displays how deplorable the situation is here at E.S.P. The ACLU´s class action lawsuit because of the atrocious lack of medical care, the declaration of Lorraine Memory, the Noel Report, the situation with Ikemba, the situation with Kevin Lisle, not to mention the numerous accounts of all the staff working here being arrested and charged with various crimes, also the federal indictment and trial of the Aryan Warriors, who the government has labelled “domestic terrorists”! The mysterious death of Timothy Redman, and other deathrow inmates before him. The suicides, the indeterminate lockdown of the entire prison (except for one unit), the forcing of cellmates upon us, the riots and work stoppages, and not to mention that in the span of one year over 75 officers have either quit working here, transferred to other prisons, or were arrested, or fired… 75 Officers in a year, now if that doesn´t speak volumes on how deplorable the situation here at E.S.P. is, then I don´t know what does. There has been many deaths in this graveyard, and other things, Ely State Prison has continuously been in the news.

There are 8 units in this prison and all but one of them are locked down and have been locked down for over 6 years, with no solutions or remedies in sight, no programs and no incentives to do good. This prison has been under federal investigation, and under serious public scrutiny, budget cuts have stripped us of everything from food to education, exposing how much they don´t care about our health, or our rehabilitation and re-entry back into society. Anytime you cut into our education, you are cutting into our rehabilitation, limiting our chances to make a successful return back into society. These people are heartless, they don´t care about us. They´re here to punish us, warehouse us, condemn us, and that´s it.

Not only that, but it has apparently been the agenda and the desire of the prison administration and the system, to keep us stagnant and stuck on stupid so that we can surely deteriorate while living in these degenerate conditions. They know that “knowledge is power” and that “truth is revolutionary” and so they deliberately try to make it as difficult as they can for us to get books and literature sent in, trying to use this new A.R. (regulation) to justify the denial of books, which is illegal and violates our first amendment rights, and not to mention all the other obstacles and restrictions and limits they´re always putting on us when it comes to receiving books and reading materials, even making it against the rules to share a book with another prisoner.

It seems like they would rather see us pacified and complacent, locked down in general population, reading pop culture magazines and horror novels, or watching the “idiot box” all day, than to see us reading a book on history, economics, or politics, or learning the law so that we can figure out productive ways to get off of permanent lockdown. They would rather see us stuck on stupid, anti-social, with gangbang mentalities, going against each other all the time, than to see us utilizing this time as an opportunity to build social bonds with our families and friends, and as an opportunity to cultivate, uplift and educate ourselves. Rather than see us grow and get better, everything they do is to bring us down and break us down, they want to break our spirit, decimate our wills and keep us ignorant. That is what these rules are for, that´s what these restrictions are for, and that´s what these cells are for.

It appears that these new administrative regulations (A.R. 733) are designed for those exact purposes as well! This new A.R. affects prisoners who are serving time in disciplinary segregation, taking everything away in a guise to create an “incentive to do good.” But they fail to realize that when they confine all of the prisoners with records of serious disciplinary problems in one area and then take everything away, with years and years of disciplinary segregation (D.S.) time to serve, all they´re doing is creating a situation where we have nothing to lose. This entire prison is locked down except for one unit, so the measures they have taken are impracticable and make no sense. Why implement such measures without a level system or steps program that allows us to advance through the means of good behavior, or get out of lockdown? Some of these prisoners have been suffering this already for years, with no end in sight, These measures taken by the NV Dept. of Corrections (NDOC) are senseless and unreasonable, and (as this recent riot displays) thee only thing these rules are good for is creating anger and frustration that has led to prisoners and officers getting hurt and fired! It doesn´t make sense.

We need people “on the outs” to get involved in these struggles, to help us make changes and modifications that will be effective and beneficial to all. We need people to call and write letters to the head of the NDOC, and to the governor of Nevada and ask them to make modifications to A.R. 733. Be sure to remind him of the January 31st riot and of the officer who got stabbed (c.o. Stubbs) so that they can understand the seriousness of this situation. Here´s what we need the people to push for:

1) Allow us to purchase these items from the canteen: Vitamins, coffee soups, peanut-butter, laundry supplies, batteries for our electronic shavers, beanies, thermals and shoes.

2) Allow us one thirty (30) minute call a week, as the policy says.

3) Allow us our first amendment right: receive books sent in from the outside while serving time in disciplinary segregation.

4) Allow us to have a dip bar over our rec yards, for recreational purposes and exercise.

5) Allow us a “contact” visit once a month for family or friends.

6) We would like for all mentally ill and psycho-tropically medicated inmates to be housed separately, preferably on a unit where they can receive the treatment they need.

7) No appliance loss for minor/general rule infractions, no loss of appliances for prisoners found “not guilty”; and only 60 days total for major violations, before all are returned.

8) Allow us to buy Mexico/Canada stamps so we can write our families and friends there.

9) Allow us to be approved to purchase appliances and c.d.´s after 90 days without any rule violations.

10) Provide a level system or steps program to allow prisoners to advance through the means of good behavior, and to get out of lockdown.

A.R. 733 needs to be modified and a level system needs to be put in place, all mentally ill inmates need to be housed separately, on a unit where they can receive the treatment they need. These (10) things are all we ask for.

Please call and send letters to the Director of the NDOC at this address:

Howard Skolnik

Nevada Department of Corrections
P.O. Box 7011
Carson City, Nevada 89702

And please call and send letters to the Governor at this address:

Governor Jim Gibbons

State Capitol
101 N. Carson Street
Carson City, NV 89701

I´m proud to see so many prisoners of different races and / or different factions coming together and standing up for the injustices being done to us in here. I´m proud to be a part of something that strives to bring real changes for the people in here. It feels food to be involved and to get caught up in the spirit of revolt. Violence isn´t always the best option and I hope that we can come together like this more often, without having to take it to the extreme.

Solidarity and Struggle,

Coyote

For more info on the Jan. 31^st riot, for letters of encouragement and support you can contact Coyote at this address:

Coyote Sheff

#55671

P.O. Box 1989,

Ely, NV 89301

Or you can view his beautiful writings and his reports on either of these websites:

Coyote-calling.blogspot.com, Nevadaprisonwatch.blogspot.com, myspace.com/abcnevada, SF Bay View, Solitarywatch.

Riot at Ely State Prison: It was a battle!

2010-03-05T13:23:00.000-08:00

From: SF Bay View

There was a riot here at Ely State Prison that took place in the most restricted unit, 4B and 4A. It lasted from Jan. 31 to Feb. 1. It was a battle!

There has been a lot of changes here at ESP that all started on Nov. 23, 2009. Rather than giving us anything to look forward to or any real incentive by implementing any constructive or productive programs, the administration has maliciously taken things away. Canteen privileges, appliances (radios, TVs, CD players and the like) and visits have all been stripped away from us so they can hold these things over our head and use them as a control method.

On Nov. 23, 2009, all of the prisoners who are serving “Disciplinary Segregation” were moved and placed in Unit 4, A Wing and B Wing, and Unit 3B. They intentionally made 4B the worst tier in this prison by strategically placing protective custody inmates and mentally ill inmates all around us on this tier, while taking appliances away, so that we have no choice but to be subjected to the everyday torture, sensory deprivation and psychological warfare deliberately placed on us by these PCs and mentally ill inmates, who constantly scream, bang, verbally assault other prisoners, snitch and inform on us and several other tactics they do to make us miserable that I cannot explain.

Not to mention the guards on this unit are the most strict, the most petty, spiteful, vindictive and retaliatory guards in this prison. These guards have intentionally gone out of their way to provoke us on several different occasions. They have taken appliances, including mine, away from inmates who committed rule violations prior to Nov. 23, 2009 – which is against policy – and prisoners who have been found guilty of minor and general write-ups have had their appliances confiscated, and even prisoners who were found not guilty of minor write-ups had their appliances taken away!

To top that off, prisoners who have gone two months without their appliances still have not had their appliances returned to them in spite of what the policy states, and the staff are not answering kites (written messages) or making any efforts to try to get the appliances returned to these prisoners.

Year after year it is take, take, take, and it has gotten to the point where we got fed up with this. We have said enough is enough. We needed to get things off of our chest!

Prisoners on 4B, including myself, kicked off a riot by flooding, burning, capturing food slots, popping sprinkler heads, forcing the guards to gear up and extract us from our cells so that we could fight with them! At least eight guards dressed in full riot gear and helmets would line up and run in our cells, trying to beat us into submission.

We fought hard and we took it to them. Many of us were successful at disarming them of their electrical shield, making sure to get our hits in before they wrapped us up and beat us down. One prisoner even got out of his cell and hit a guard so hard in the helmet that the face guard broke off!

When it was all said and done, there were over 16 cell extractions on both wings, totally three prisoners were sent to the infirmary, one of those prisoners was sent to the hospital outside of the prison because of head trauma, but the other two were returned back to their unit two days later. There was so much blood everywhere – in the cells, on the tier, in the sally port, in the hallway and on the walls – it was crazy! It was a battle!

Every guard that was on the extraction team received some type of injury. Each one had to see the nurse about something. One guard, allegedly, got stabbed during a cell extraction. He was laid out in the sally port being operated on by the nurses for about 45 minutes before he was carried out on a stretcher. After that, the guards’ spirits were deflated and they refused to run in on anybody’s cell. They showed their fear and defeat by their use of chemical agents from here on out.

We battled hard! Whites and several Latino prisoners from different factions all came together, successfully building an army in 20 minutes to fight together and take a stand! Guys that normally would not even talk to each other came together to take it to these swine.

Every one of us who got extracted received a black eye, bloody nose and many lumps and bruises, but we are proud of these battle wounds! At least I’m proud of mine! There were many foul and unprofessional acts done by the guards that directly violate the policies of the institution, and an investigation is being pursued. We are taking this as a victory.

The guards bowed down before we were ready to stop fighting. They extracted me from my cell. I quickly disarmed them of their electrical shield and got a few licks in before they wrapped me up. When they brought me back to my cell, Latinos, Whites and Blacks were all chanting my name and cheering me on. It felt good.

This is not my first riot but it was definitely the best. It’s so good to see solidarity in action, to see prisoners of different races and factions coming together like this. We need more solidarity before we can really start making positive changes in this system!

Resistance and sacrifice,

Coyote

ABC-Nevada Prison Chapter, Ely State Prison

Greetings from The Graveyard, Part II

2010-02-04T17:25:00.000-08:00

This is the second zine of a 3 part series. This zine is designed to display articles and memos about some of the things going on in Ely State Prison in NV.

I hope that readers will pay attention to what Lorraine Memory has to say in her declaration because more people really need to understand the atrocities that we face in these prisons at the hands of our oppressors.

This zine is designed to raise awareness and to seek support from people on the outside. We can’t get anything good going on for ourselves without support from the comrades and friends on the outs. We need people to get involved in our struggles, to help us build a support group on the outside that will network on our behalf. We need people to send us literature and books so that we can study, educate and elevate ourselves while living under these stagnant conditions. We need people to get in touch with us, to give meaning and purpose to our lives, to help us grow and cultivate ourselves and to give us something positive to look forward to. We need help to become assets to our communities when we are released.

Ely State Prison is a cold, desolate place where lives are destroyed and where we are left to suffer; with no love, no light, just isolation and injustice. There are a lot of foul things going on in this graveyard but my other comrades and I are constantly at work trying to turn that around. We are trying to get good things going for the prisoners here; trying to turn this place into a place of education and growth while planting the seeds of resistance and liberation.

Please help us; please get involved. You can contact me at;

Coyote Sheff # 55671
PO Box 1989
Ely, NV 89301-1989

Brainwashing Techniques Used by the Oppressor

2010-01-31T11:48:00.000-08:00

My greetings of solidarity and respects are extended to all comrades on both sides of the razorwire. I just wanted to take this time to reproduce this list of CIA brainwashing techniques that are being used against the imprisoned and the oppressors. This is going on in all prisons across the nation, but especially here at Ely State Prison, Nevada’s notorious maximum security lock-up. I’ve been here for over 11 years and I’ve seen all of these tactics being used against us; and so I felt compelled to make a reproduction of this list so that awareness can be raised!

Here’s a list of 25 tactics being used on us daily:

1) Physical removal of prisoners to areas sufficiently isolated to effectively break or seriously weaken close emotional ties.

2) Segregation of all natural leaders.

3) Use of cooperative prisoners as leaders.

4) Prohibition of group activities not in line with brainwashing objectives.

5) Spying on prisoners and reporting back private materials.

6) Ticking men into written statements which are then shown to others.

7) Exploitation of opportunities and informants.

8) Convincing prisoners that they can trust no one.

9) Treating those who are willing to collaborate in far more lenient ways than those who are not.

10) Punishing those who show uncooperative attitudes.

11) Systematic withholding of mail.

12) Preventing contact with anyone non-sympathetic to the method of treatment and regimen of the captive populace.

13) Disorganization of all group standards among prisoners.

14) Building a group conviction among the prisoners that they have been abandoned by and totally isolated from their social order.

15) Undermining of all emotional supports.

16) Preventing prisoners from writing home or to friends in the community regarding the conditions of their confinement.

17) Making available and permitting access to only those publications and books that contain materials which are neutral to or supportive of the desired new attitudes. While making it hard or impossible to gain access to radical, political, educational or empowering literature and books.

18) Placing individuals into new and ambiguous situations for which the standards are kept deliberately unclear and then putting pressure on him to conform to what is desired in order to win favour and a reprieve from the pressure.

19) Placing individuals whose willpower has been severely weakened, or eroded, into a living situation with several others who are more advanced in their thought-reform, whose job is to further undermine the individual emotional supports.

20) Using techniques of character invalidation, i.e. humiliations, revilement, shouting, to induce feelings of guilt, fear and suggestibility; coupled with sleeplessness and exacting prison regimen and periodic interrogational interviews.

21) Meeting all insincere attempts to comply with cellmates’ pressures with renewed hostility.

22) Rewarding of submission and subservience to the attitudes encompassing the brainwashing objective with a lifting of pressure and acceptance as a human being.

23) Providing social and emotional supports which reinforce the new attitudes.

24) Divide and conquer techniques to quell riots and disruptions. When one prisoner is acting out or causing disruption on the tier over an injustice being done to him, guards will go to other inmates’ door laughing, joking, slandering and defacing the character of the disruptive inmate, trying to turn the other prisoners against him. Those who go along with this and take the bait by laughing and joking with the guards, are in turn ostracized and looked down upon by the other prisoners.

25) Using food as a control method, “doggy treat” tactics”. “If you comply we will give you extra food that we would otherwise throw away.” Those who are extremely non-compliant, or who write grievances, might not get fed at all.

Those are just 25 of the brainwashing techniques being used on us daily. There are more though. But now that we know what is being done to us, it is up to us to figure out ways to defend ourselves against these tactics. The best weapon for anyone to have is knowledge. Knowledge of yourself, knowledge of your enemy, knowledge of your surroundings, knowledge of your culture, your history, knowledge of your purpose in life. Knowledge is a weapon. Arm yourself with knowledge.

My love goes out to all of those who keep the fire of resistance burning in their hearts! Peace.

Solidarity and Respects,

Coyote
January 25th, 2010
ABC Nevada Prison Chapter
Ely State Prison

Article: Voices from Solitary: Coyote Calling

2010-01-25T04:31:00.000-08:00

The new website / weblog of Solitary Watch published this article yesterday on their site:

Voices from Solitary: Coyote Calling.

January 24, 2010
by James Ridgeway and Jean Casella

One of the aims of Solitary Watch News is to build an online archive of literature, drawings, and reportage by people who are, or have been, in solitary confinement. These will be compiled in the Voices from Solitary section of the site, and sometimes featured in blog posts. Readers are encouraged to send in their suggestions.

A reader from Nevada Prison Watch recently told us about the writings of Coyote Sheff, which are now being published by his friends on the outside on a blog, Coyote Calling. Coyote has been in Nevada’s Ely State Prison for about a decade, much of it in Discliplinary Segregation. In fact, of the eight units at Ely, seven are in some form of permanent lockdown, where prisoners are held in their cells 23 hours a day, either alone or with a cellmate.

Ely State Prison, located in a remote town in Eastern Nevada, is currently being sued by the American Civil Liberties Union’s National Prison Project for ”grossly inadequate medical care” to its 1,000 prisoners. The ACLU filed suit after state officials failed to act on the findings of an expert, Dr. William Noel, who was sent in to investigate medical conditions at Ely. According to the ACLU:

In his report, Noel wrote that medical care at ESP shows “the most shocking and callous disregard for human life and human suffering that I have ever encountered in the medical profession in my 35 years of practice.” According to the report…there is a horrific pattern of neglect, misguided health care policies, and little accountability for frequently under-qualified staff. Noel also noted numerous instances where important medical records were missing from prisoners’ medical files. Finally, Noel and the ACLU have raised serious concerns about prisoners who died and were cremated before autopsies were completed and their families notified.

This piece by Coyote Sheff is called “Solitary Enslavement.”

We sit in these cells like dead bodies sit in cemeteries. Death fills our lungs, fills our minds, fills our hearts and fills our souls as it lurks and lingers and seeps through the concrete. Our minds go numb and our spirits fade into inactivity. We sit here waiting to waste away, erode, dissolve, and disappear into the cracks of the cement.

Solitary confinement. What an evil concept, what a wicked notion, what a clever way to destroy a man without even laying a finger on him. Solitary confinement — the murderer of minds, hearts, and souls. The person who designed such an evil conception must’ve had murder on his mind and hate in his heart.

We die alone in these cold cells, as our hands stretch out to clutch concrete, but fail miserably to hold anything in their grasp other than the death-stenched air. We die alone — a lonely, miserable, suffering death. We die alone….

Not All There

2010-01-24T03:35:00.001-08:00

This is the place where demons drool
over petty rule
leaving you all alone

while your mind fades and erodes between the thickness of steel and stone.

This is the place where sadness stains
the looks on our faces
and where madness remains
in the hearts and minds of the opposite races.

This is the place
of misery and despair
locked down in a cell with nothing to lose
and without a single care.

This is the place where we are all here
'cuz we are not all there.

Coyote 2008
Ely State Prison

Greetings from the Graveyard, Pt I: Contents

2010-01-23T12:01:00.000-08:00

TABLE OF CONTENTS:

1. NOT ALL THERE (INSIDE COVER)

2. INTRODUCTION TO PART ONE

3. NOTE FROM MY COMRADE MARCUS

4. E.S.P. THE BASIC RUNDOWN

5. SOLITARY ENSLAVEMENT

6. APPLY YOURSELF

7. MADNESS

8. THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS

9. THE CASE OF THE CASEWORKERS

10. THE SPIRIT OF RESISTANCE

11. GENERAL POPULOCKDOWN

12. THERE'S NO LOVE HERE

13. KUMITE

14. BUT UNTIL THEN

15. THE WRITING'S ON THE WALL

16. THE EAGLE AND THE SOW

17. BEWARE OF THE GRIMALKIN

18. DEAR MR. CORRECTIONAL OFFICER

19. THE THOUGHTS OF AN EXILE

20. IN SOLITUDE I SUFFER

21. FREE YOUR MIND

22. ON HEART

23. DESPAIR

24. BURIED ALIVE

25. STAGNATION

26. TODAY IS A GOOD DAY TO LIVE

27. WE MUST KEEP RESISTANCE IN OUR HEARTS

28. LIFE IS GOOD

Greetings from the Graveyard - Introduction to Part One

2010-01-23T11:24:00.000-08:00

"Greetings from the Graveyard" is a 3-part zine I want to use as a tool to raise awareness about the oppressive struggles that prisoners here in Nevada's maximum security prison (Ely State Prison) have to endure. Hopefully in so doing, it will also shed light on the struggles of prisoners all over America. I want to use this 3-part zine, not only to raise awareness, but also to gain support from sincere, dedicated people and activists on the outs.

It is important that people on both sides of the razor-wire understand the struggles, atrocities, injustices, and oppression that people in prison face. In all honesty, this is a crooked, corrupt, and inhumane system where we are being warehoused. There is no rehabilitation in these prisons, no programs, no health care, no love, no support. This entire American Judicial System is foul and corrupt. It is designed to oppress the poor and people of color. It’s just a cruel, merciless system where racism, violence, and sadism take place everyday.

I wanted to break this zine down to 3 sections, to shed light on 3 different aspects of the prison struggle. This first section is made up entirely of my latest writings. I write these pieces to give people a clear understanding of how barbaric and primitive this system on the inside is, and how most prisoners assume violent mentalities and predatory ways just to endure. Violence is glorified, respected, honored, and bragged about in this psychopathic environment. There's really no healthy, productive way for us to be reformed while living in this sadistic, oppressive environment.

I try to shine the spotlight on this type of violent predatory mentality in a couple of these essays, such as "Central PopuLockdown", and "Madness". I wrote those not as an imprisoned radical intellectual, but from the perspective of a convict who once took up the means of violence as a survival mechanism. I want people to see all different sides and different types of mentalities that we take up as the everyday "norm" in these dungeons.

Also, some of these writings were written as "Release Therapy" for me. These were instances where I was using the paper and pen as an avenue to release my frustrations, anger, and stress. This can be seen in essays like "Writings on the Wall", and "Dear Mr. Correctional Officer", just to name a couple.

I want people to understand that it’s hard for us to rise above this madness and to overcome these violent, predatory mentalities. It’s hard, but its necessary if we are to hold on to a sense of what's left of our humanity. It’s necessary for our communities, society and humanity. We truly and sincerely need outside support. We need people to get involved in our lives and in our struggles. We need people to give us genuine love and support. These warm rays of life are what keep us sane in here; keep us going in here; and keep us alive and human in here.

We need people to send us letters, accept our phone calls, come visit us, and most importantly, send us books so that we can use this time to educate/ re-educate ourselves and liberate our minds. It is through books, literature, education, and study that we become conscious. Consciousness is a saviour. It's what enables us to rise above this madness and change our ways of thinking from violent, criminalistic, predatory and unproductive thoughts to a more healthy, honest, wise, productive, and truthful outlook on life. With this outlook and a conscious level of thinking, we begin to understand on a more clear, truthful and active level. Conscious people don't do stupid things. Conscious people have a true appreciation and respect for life and humanity. This is why I'm always passing out zines and literature and giving books away to other prisoners in here. This is why I'm always writing zines and literature of my own: to raise consciousness in the hearts and minds of my fellow prisoners.

So, I sincerely want for this first zine to help people on the outs to understand what we are going through in these graveyards called prisons. I need people to understand why we need help from the outs and what kind of help we need. Love can conquer hate. Love can help and love can heal. And that's what we need: love, healing, and support.

I want this zine to inspire people to start getting involved in our lives and our struggles in real and meaningful ways. Help us help ourselves, because we cannot expect the people who imprison us to help us. If you are an activist, get involved in a real struggle. If you are not an activist, now is your chance to become one. We need sincere, dedicated, compassionate people to get involved in our plight.

As always, my writings are for people on both sides of the walls.

In solidarity and with respect, Coyote

ABC- Nevada Prison Chapter

Note from my Comrade Marcus

2010-01-22T11:30:00.000-08:00

To become aware of these atrocities, one must first become introduced to the 3 W's: World, War, and Warehouses. Once one becomes familiarized with these three, you'll then find that we are all prisoners with like struggles. Therefore, we are all subjected to the same institution and its forced mentalities of insane thinking. The relevance of this institution is it needs for us to become reliant upon its mechanisms. Like a clock ticking away and we're the sprockets turning its gears. It needs us to keep in tune to its tock. For without us, it cannot function. The clock takes extreme measures against all resistance.

These prison warehouses, for some, is the beginning of its extreme measures; and for others, it is the end. Those on the outs are subjected to wars and fighting for the continuous reign of capitalism. And some are just plainly confined to the world and its oppression, living as puppets till death, finding that in the end, it costs way too much to die. Lives pay dearly for war bullets, while the institution hails on and on. The warehouses destroy human nature with no compassion towards our wellbeing. And the institution hails on and on, biting its own tail for nourishment. And we come straight from its ass as its substance.

Apply Yourself

2010-01-20T12:02:00.000-08:00

They say you learn something new everyday, but do you really? I see people losing their minds everyday and sometimes it seems like the people who keep us here want our minds to stay stagnant while we are in here, but it's really not up to them, it's up to us. It's up to each and every one of us to take true strides to educate and elevate ourselves. It's up to each and every one of us in here to take true strides to liberate our minds, liberate our souls through books, through knowledge, through the connections we make with others. It's up to each and every one of us to get our minds right and our game tight. For those who choose to stay stuck on stupid while they sit here and dwell here, that's up to them. If that's what they choose to do, then that's on them. It's sad to see, and it's hard to be around people like that, but what can you do?

Man, I've been through so much, up here in E.S.P. for 10 years and I've been through it all. All the ups and downs, all the riots, conflicts and struggles, I've got the mail room officers hating on me, fucking with my mail and trying to make my life a living hell because of the zines that I create, zines like this one right here ("Greetings from the Graveyard"). I've got the officers appealing to the assistant warden trying to get me thrown on H.R.P. status (High Risk Prisoner) for my latest "assault" on an officer and for everything else I've been through in the past 10 years.

I try to do good, but when they see me trying to do good they try to make it harder for me; when they see I'm doing good they always try to find some petty offense to write me up for. So it's hard to maintain, after all the shit I've been through, and go through.

There's been many times when I wanted to do right and was making an effort to do good and then something would go wrong and I'd slip up and just like that I'd be back in the hole for another assault. It's easy for my family and friends to tell me, "just do good, just ignore them, just don't feed into it," but they could never understand the struggles that I go through in here. When you're living amongst all this foulness and misery sometimes it's hard to maintain your focus. It's hard to care about things when you're living in a world where no body cares. It's hard to care when nobody around you cares about you and when some of these people don't even care about themselves. It's a struggle to do right when everything's going wrong. And it's even harder to get your people to understand it when you call them and tell them, Man, I just slipped up again."

We sit here locked down in these cells, letting our minds go numb as every man is pent up within the limits of his own frustration and rage. I always speak on the importance of resistance, and I always speak on the importance of making real connections with people on the outs. I feel that when you try to elevate and educate yourself while living amongst all this stagnation and deterioration, you are engaging in a true act of resistance. Resistance isn't always about clashing with the authorities, or physically fighting the system, because under these circumstances you're only burying yourself deeper in a hole every time you get violent. I've been violent the whole time I've been incarcerated and sometimes it was necessary for me to be violent, but even though it's kept my head glued on to my shoulders it has prolonged my sentence.

So, when you take true strides to educate and elevate yourself while living under these dreary and gloomy circumstances, I'd say you are participating in a healthier act of resistance, because by doing this you're resisting intellectual death and you're also resisting spiritual famine. You are becoming conscious while dwelling in a contemptuous, disdainful, ugly nebula of ignorance and hatred. You are taking true strides to rise above it all.

It is important for us to try to make meaningful connections with people on the outs too, because nobody in here cares about you one way or the other. There's no love here. The love here is earned, not a given. Love shouldn't be earned, that's not true love. That's prison love. It's not the good kind of love. Prison love is artificial, it comes and it goes and then has to be earned all over again, it isn't given freely, there is no compassion in the type of love you'll find in prison. But we can get that from people on the outs, they can help us, they can heal us, they can show us love, friendship and compassion. That's they type of love we need, that's the type of love that's going to help us endure and grow and develop and blossom and those are the type of people who are going to get us through this and beyond this miserable, lonely existence of prison life. We need love from the people on the outs, 'cuz that's true love, not like this artificial, condensed stuff you get in here. We need real love and real support.

Maybe the people who keep us here 'want to keep our minds stagnant, maybe they just don't care one way or the other. But the fact of the matter is we, ourselves have to take true and healthy strides to rise above the madness and stagnation that we live and suffer through every day. I feel that having our minds stagnant while in prison is not only an injustice to ourselves, but an injustice to society (after we get out of prison) and an injustice to humanity. It definitely makes you question the role of prisons in America and it makes you question the intentions of those who are intent on locking us up and building more prisons. It is c1ear that they don't care about us. It is c1ear that we have to take it upon ourselves to rise above this madness.

I sit here in this cell trying to cultivate my mind and trying to encourage others to do the same. We use this time to get our minds right and our game tight, trying to rise above all of this mental and spiritual oppression. We try to make the best out of a bad situation, taking the good with the bad, making sure we get back on our feet after each time we stumble and fall, still striving to move forward, towards the imaginary light at the end of the imaginary tunnel, because it's all about perseverance and survival. And yes, you can learn something new everyday if you have the desire to do so. Just because they want us to stay stagnant in here, doesn't mean we have to. Staying sharp and staving strong is what we should aim to do. Don't lose your mind, use your mind! Apply yourself.

Just in here trying to stay on the sharp side!

Coyote

Ely State Prison, Ely, Nevada

October 27th, 2008

"Your way begins on the other side. Become the sky.
Take an axe to the prison wall, escape

Walk out like somebody born into color.

Do it now"

- Rumi, 800 years ago

Please write to me and send me letters of solidarity and encouragement:

Coyote Sheff #55671
P.O. Box 1989
Ely, Nevada 89301-1989

Madness

2010-01-20T12:00:00.000-08:00

As I sit here in this cell or whatever it is, I find myself wishing that they would come and get me and take me to prison. I say that, because all of this weirdness around here and all of the foulness I see, I don't know where I'm at anymore.

Lately, I haven't been talking on the tier anymore. I know that there are at least 20 protective custody inmates locked down on this tier right now, sitting in the hole with me. What I don't know is how many of them are informing for the pigs or how many of them are sitting back and listening to everything we say. So, lately, I've chosen to stay quiet and alone. It would be nice if there were a couple conscious prisoners close to me, there would be plenty to discuss. But, they've got me stranded and strained up right now and I don't have nothing to prove, therefore, I have nothing to say.

The prisoners are so friendly with the police around here, it scares me.

The foulness disgusts me, disturbs me, makes me sick. I hate this place. this place used to be my stomping grounds. I've sent many pigs away, either bleeding or covered with feces, and yes, they had it coming! I've done deeds that could be bragged about for years in this setting, this place. But I know if I had a reason to lash out and do something to these pigs right now, the prisoners around here would look at me like I'm crazy. they wouldn't understand the concept of standing up to the man, no, not on this tier.

I sit up in this cell and I read, I study, I write, I keep myself busy and I apply my knowledge as often as I can. fuck this place, these people, fuck what they think, fuck what they do, I gotta shake it off and continue to be who I am. I can't explaln how much this place fills me with disgust. It has become sickening to be here. I need to get out of here, I need to cleanse my soul, or get high, or something, cuz it is becoming very very difficult to deal with this madness.

If there's someone out there who's reading this, someone who cares, pick up a pen and write to one of the prisoners who has placed an article in this zine. Show us some love, give us some encouragement, send us some books, help us rise above this madness. We need your support. we need to have real contact, communication, and truthful relationships-meaningful connections with people on the outside. We've been cut of from love, society, life, community, family, and friends, and been confined to a corner of coldness and darkness. We need your support. We need your compassion.

From the depths of these dregs, Coyote

Ely state prison, Nevada 2008

If you would like to write me, I can be contacted at this address:

Coyote Sheff #55671,

P.O. Box 1989

Ely, NV 89301-1989

That´s What Happens

2010-01-20T11:59:00.000-08:00

Your heart turns into stone, your soul turns into ice, and your mind turns into jelly. That's what happens when you sit and sit and sit in one of these cells, that's what happens when love leaves you, its what happens when you stop trying. It’s a constant cycle of torture. Lt’s a constant battle, a never-ending struggle. One day you feel good, the next day you feel bad. You go through so much conflict and turmoil with yourself, it nearly kills you. You can feel a deep sense of mental anguish and a deep sense of spiritual torment. It hurts so bad, it tears you up into little pieces, it scars you, and it destroys you inside.

You're filled with hate, rage, and vengeance.

You want to kick the pig’s head in, the same way they kick on your door. You become suspicious of others, and paranoid. You begin to think they're talking about you, you think they're out to get you, out to rob, steal, or cheat you. You're losing your fucken mind.

That's what happens when you sit and fester and marinate in one of these cells for hours at a time, days at a time, months at a time, years at a time. That's what happens when your heart stops finding a real reason to beat, that's what happens when you quit resisting. Your heart breaks a thousand times, you lose your cool. You lose your mind, your soul freezes and you die inside, you fucken die.

My name is Coyote and my heart still beats with love and resistance. But there's been times when it would skip a beat or two, or three ...

January 22, 2008

The Case of the Caseworkers

2010-01-20T11:58:00.001-08:00

The caseworkers here at Ely State Prison have become so good at lying that it scares me. They're always out to give us the classic run around, just to see us running in circles like dogs chasing their tails. I've trained myself not to believe anything they say and never get my hopes up. I am able to live with the understanding that there isn't very much I have coming from them. I know these people don't care about me, they don't care about my problems in life or what the hell I'm going through. They're not going to help me, they're not here for that. These lying caseworkers are so full of shit, they can keep on walking past my cell to the next one. I'm cool right here. Fuck 'em.

EI Coyote 2008

The Spirit of Resistance

2010-01-20T11:57:00.000-08:00

Those who live in fear of authority, live in slavery. Mental slavery, psychological slavery, and even physical slavery. Those who live in fear of authority are in a prison all of their own. A prison of their own making.

I am a prisoner to concrete and steel, but I am not imprisoned by fear. I do not conduct myself with those who are in fear of authority. We who live in prison are sure to not allow the walls to chip away at our existence; but with our spirit and attitude of resistance we chip away the walls and barriers that presume to behold us.

The thoughts that seep to the strengthened center of our well-being were created from the sheer will to survive under drastic circumstances. We are refined by hardships when befriended by darkness and we come out strengthened in the center and sharp around the edges, ready to cut through our bonds with a diligent ease.

It is will power that guides us through these sloppy situations. It is the spirit of resistance that keeps us alive and well. We are not imprisoned by our fears, we are determined to perservere.

EI Coyote

ABC - Nevada Prison Chapter June 7th, 2008

General Populockdown

2010-01-20T11:55:00.000-08:00

At the time of this writing, I've been here at Ely State prison for a solid 10 years. I've been through all the motions, all the ups and downs, all the trials and tribulations. I've been in fights, I've sent officers to the hospital, I've been sent to the hole for alleged stabbings, I've fought with the goon squad on cell extractions, I've participated in riots and I've demonstrated all kinds of acts of real resistance. I've been shot, gassed, tazered--you name it, I've been through it all.

Wherever I go in this prison, I am locked down. There's only one unit in this prison that isn't locked down and the caseworkers and wardens say that I am not eligible for that unit because of my history of institutional violence. All of my visits have been behind glass for almost 9 years now. They won't let me have contact visits with my family or friends because of my history of institutional violence.

So I am stuck, whether I am in the hole, or in "General populockdown", it doesn't matter, they will not give me any type of breathing room.

So, other than the fact that I will one day be released from prison, I have no incentive to do good, or follow their petty rules. I have no hope, nothing to look forward to. I’ll be here in Ely State prison until I go home, stuck in a cell, on 23 hour lock down, trying to maintain and keep from losing my cool. It's hard, sometimes it's a real struggle when you're confined to these cells for long periods of time, your thinking gets a bit distorted and it can take one little thing to set you off. when rage and aggression set in, you go flying off the handle before even thinking twice about it. It’s a psychological struggle and we are up against great odds.

This place has the ability and the tendency to do great amounts of damage to our psyche and our minds. We are living in a real-live man-made hell.

We need people on the outs to show their concern and get involved in our lives and struggles. We need people to send us letters and books and give us hope and something to look forward to. We need people on the outs to accept our calls and give us good, healthy, productive conversations to get our minds off of this sick, demented place for a little while. We need people to care about us and about what we're going through in here. We need support from people on the outside.

The psychological torment that takes place in this prison can be unbearable at times. If our souls are out of tune and our minds aren't strong and if our hearts are in the wrong place, then we are lost to this cold, desolate darkness. It takes a lot of strength and a good amount of resistance to get through this.

Listen up! There's nothing cool about this place, there's nothing cool about being here. This place sucks.

Coyote 2008

Ely State Prison

Kumite

2010-01-20T11:53:00.000-08:00

When we rise we fight, all day, all night, we fight. We fight to overcome, we fight to live, we fight to survive, we fight to win, we fight to prevail. Every day is a fight, a struggle, a challenge, every day is a battle. We fight and fight and fight. Struggle, and strive and thrive to survive. We fight with one another, we fight against our captors, we fight the system, we fight oppression, we fight hunger, we fight agony, we fight depression. We train, spar and prepare. There's no breaks, no time-outs, no tapping out, no quitting, no giving up. Fight, fight, fight. We fight to change, we fight to rise above the madness, we fight to make it through. Man-up, handle-up, face up to every challenge and to every challenger. It's a mental kumite, it's a spiritual kumite, it's an emotional kumite, it's a physical kumite. We fight with God, we fight with the Devil, we fight with our own restless souls, we create enemies and fight them too. We fight with all our hearts and we fight with all our might. Strength, endurance, speed. We fight one battle after the next, we feel no pain, we have no fear, we just keep fighting to persevere. Focus, we need to focus, we must stay focused, can't lose our focus. like an eagle we swoop, like a tiger we strike. We strike back when struck, we swing when swung upon, we initiate and engage and we combat the battles we lose only to inspire us to comeback and fight harder and harder and harder. Punch, kick, strike. We fight and we struggle and we resist.

Everyday is a kumite, step into the arena, step into the ring, step into the dojo, step onto the mat. Come out to the yard, step onto the battlefield. Gladiator, samurai, soldier, kyokushin, warrior, guerrilla, prisoner. Fight! Fight! Fight!

EI Coyote

But Until Then

2010-01-20T11:52:00.001-08:00

The mindless minds in these endless times do not want to think, because thinking is too real. The heartless hearts in these lonely, miserable times, do not want to think. We do not want to have to feel or deal with reality or face life, because it's all too much, it's all too real.

So we nullify, dull, deteriorate, and dumb ourselves down with television, magazines, gangsterism, fantasies and day dreams. We let our minds fade away with our lives, silently hoping and watching for something to come along and shake us, awaken us and snap us back into reality, causing us to take charge of our situation before it's too late, causing us to take control of our lives, with that long, forgotten fire burning and raging in our hearts and minds once again. We sit and we pray and we hope and we wish that one day, some day, we may reawaken to the passion of life and be able to deal with reality, once again.

But until then, we turn our minds off and our televisions on. We put our books down and pick up magazines full of fakeness and materialism and we sit here and fade away, until a rainy day, fuck the world, we say.

The Writing´s on the Wall

2010-01-20T11:50:00.000-08:00

"Fuck the Police". These 3 words can be found everywhere in these madhouses. Fuck the police, scribed on the walls, fuck the police, scratched into the desks, fuck the police, carved into the bunks, fuck the police, etched into the doors, etched into our minds. Fuck those slimy, greasy bastards, fuck them pigs.

That is the first commandment that we live by in here, the golden rule, as we live in these volatile situations, hostility towards our captors is the fuel that keeps us going. The correctional officers are the police, they work for the system, the government, so they're pigs too. The rats, the snitches, the informants and the inmates on protective custody, they are the police too. They work for the man, cooperating and operating against other prisoners, though they are prisoners themselves. In this world, that makes them the biggest pieces of shit around these shit-filled sewers. Not even the pigs respect them, they're cowards, and they are the police too, so fuck them.

This is prison, this isn't Disneyland. People aren't playing, not everybody is friendly around here, there are some people around here who would stick some steel in your neck, without blinking an eye, then go walk back to the table, sit down and eat their meal, or your meal, like nothing happened. This is prison.

Fuck the system, that's what we say when we pray, cuz that's what we feel in our hearts. We know this ain't right, we know it's foul, we know we're being screwed, cheated, manipulated and deceived. We know it in our hearts. Fuck the system.

We live with so much hostility in our hearts, it's what motivates us to stay alive, but it's a double-edged sword as we continue on the path of SELF-DESTRUCTION cuz we do not truly understand how we can actually rise above this madness, we do not truly comprehend how we can escape these chains and live truthfully.

All we know is piracy, banditry, hoodlumism, thuggery, and gangsterism, that's all we know as we sit here and say fuck the system. We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we organize ourselves in here? We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we elevate ourselves in here? We don't ask ourselves, or each other, how can we live truthfully, how can we get free and rise above this oppression? We don't think about these things, because we don't see the possibility of these things, as we are blinded by our own ignorance and blinded by our own violence towards one another, we can't see past our own futile situations, all we know is that we have to survive, so we don't get cheated or shorted or knocked off by the next motherfucker.

But the writings on the wall, for those who want to read it, it's right there, etched, sketched, scratched, scribed, carved or written, it's right there. Three words, fuck the police, it's right there, written on the wall, desk, bunk, ceiling, floor, it's right there.

EI Coyote

The Eagle and the Sow

2010-01-20T11:49:00.000-08:00

An eagle built a nest on a tree, and hatched out some eaglets, and a wild sow brought her litter under the tree, and the sow rooted around the tree and hunted in the woods, and when night came she would bring her young something to eat. And the eagle and the sow lived in neighborly fashion.

And a grimalkin laid her plans to destroy the eaglets and the little sucking pigs. She went to the eagle and said: "Eagle you had better not fly very far away. Beware of the sow, she is planning an evil design. She is going to undermine the roots of the tree. You see she is rooting all the time."

Then the grimalkin went to the sow and said: "Sow, you have not a good neighbor. Last evening I heard the eagle saying to her eaglets: "My dear little eaglets, I am going to treat you to a nice little pig. Just as the sow is gone, I will bring you a little young sucking pig!"

From that time the eagle ceased to fly out after prey, and the sow did not go any more into the forest. The eaglets and the young pigs perished of starvation, and the grimalkin feasted on them.

Fables,

Leo Tolstoy, 1828-1910

Beware of the Grimalkin

2010-01-20T11:48:00.001-08:00

True seekers of knowledge would probably appreciate the fact that there is a lot of' wisdom and knowledge to be found in fables. Practically every culture has their own fables, there is so much that can be learned from fables, things like strategy, wisdom, practical ways of living, counsel and instructions on various themes of life. How could one not appreciate a good fable every now and then right? So, I wanted to share this particular fable with you, because there's a lot of truth in it, truth that applies to our everyday situation as prisoners.

The strategy of the grimalkin in this fable is very similar to that of the "Divide and Conquer" strategy that our oppressors use on us today. When we become mistrustful of each other, when we fight each other and kill each other, we are giving our oppressor (the grimalkin) - our true enemy - absolute power over us. As long as we are going at it with each other, they don't have to worry about us trying to rise up against them.

How can we be each other’s enemy when we are in the same communities, prisons and in the trenches together, going through the same shit, suffering from the same type of poverty and the same afflictions together? No, brothers and sisters, we are not each other’s enemies, we need to stop hating each other and come to realize that it's the grimalkin who is profiting off of our self-destructive behavior, the grimalkin is our true enemy.

The sooner we realize this the sooner we will be able to reach some type of middle-ground between us and eventually we can try to come together and run the grimalkin down. There's a couple lessons that can be learned from this fable of the "Eagle and the Sow." But one of the most important one is one of the oldest, "Know your Enemy."

Coyote, 2006

Ely State Prison

Dear Mr. Correctional Officer

2010-01-20T11:46:00.000-08:00

AII I want is what I got coming and for you to leave me alone. There's no need to stop at my cell and ask me how am I doing today, you don't care how I'm doing, you don't really want to know how I'm doing, you only ask to see what kind of state of mind I'm in, if I'm on some "fuck the police shit", or if I'm safe for you to be around, that's the only reason you ask how I'm doing today, to make sure you're safe, not cuz you actually care, so don't even ask. No need to stand at my door smiling, being nice, trying to hold a fake ass conversation with me about this, that or the other, if I need something I’ll let you know, if not just give me my meal, or my mail or whatever and move on.

I don't want your little extras, the last thing I want is to be spoiled by the pigs, so you can keep your little extra this and your little extra that, take it and give it to one of your little rats. I don't want it, I don't need it, just give me my full issue of what I'm supposed to get and roll on to the next cell. Just leave me alone and I’ll leave you alone, but if you go out of your way to mess with me, then I'm going to go out of my way to mess with you. And this is going to be an unsafe environment for both of us.

Thank you. Have a nice day.

In Solitude I Suffer

2010-01-20T11:42:00.000-08:00

Though I am loved, I am alone, left to sit and suffer in a cold, desolate cell of confinement. On the other side of these prison gates I have many people who love and care about me, who are touched by my courage and compassion, and who are moved by my love for them and by my love for life, freedom, and justice. The sad reality, though, is that they're out there and I'm in here, alone ....

I am surrounded by people who like to think that they're my enemies, surrounded by foulness and perversion, and blanketed by sheer coldness. I have no friends, just a few people that I talk to from time to time, people who share no true feelings of connectedness with me; their conversations might be good sometimes, and comforting, but there's no camaraderie between us. People in here will talk to you one day and then decide that they don't want to talk to you ever again; that's just the way it goes in here. It's something that a prisoner has to deal with, knowing that the only person in here that you can truly depend on is yourself.

We have to find ways to deal with this loneliness so it doesn't take us under.

Overcoming loneliness is a huge part of survival in prison. Loneliness is painful. It's agonizing to my soul. To know that I could be in here, in this world, with other people around me, in cells next to me, above or below me, and still feel unconnected to anyone, and still feel like I don't really know someone, or that nobody really understands me, and to feel like I cannot truly trust another man in here - it defines the feeling of suffering. To be alone is to suffer.

In solitude I suffer. My heart dies, my blood turns cold and the spark of life leaves my eyes; when you look into them now all you can see is anger, pain, loneliness, and suffering, and all I can do is sit here and ask myself, what have I done to deserve this? What did I do to have to be forced to live in such torment?

For I know in my heart of hearts that I'm a good man. I know in my heart that I live by the principles of righteousness, respect, honor, integrity, fairness, equality; and I know that I am a man who has stood up for my beliefs and who has stood up for my rights, and who has also been beaten down for standing up for them. But still I am left to live in solitude, like I am some kind of piece of shit or something.

In prison that' s the price we have to pay for being a man who stands up for himself and for what he believes is good and right. We have to pay for that by sitting and suffering in solitary confinement until the authorities feel that they have broken you down. They try to break your will, break your spirit and your determination, and they try to destroy you. The things that we see as good and the things that we see as being right are the things that we are being punished for.

I sit here in solitude, feeling so alone. Tormented by my loneliness, and even though another man lives in the cell to my right, and another man lives in the cell to my left, and a man lives in the cell right above me, I feel no connection with any of them; there's no trust between us and absolutely no sense of camaraderie, and it kills me inside.

I understand that all of this is by design, and I want to be strong, I want to resist, I want to overcome, because I know I can't give in, I know I can't surrender, I know I can't let my oppressors break me; but deep down inside I know that no matter what I do, I cannot win, for either way they are slowly destroying me; whether I fight or surrender, they have already won. But I just can't give them the satisfaction in letting them know that they've destroyed me with loneliness, so I continue to fight and I continue to resist, because anything less would be suicidal ....

From the depths of my restless soul,

Coyote

Ely State Prison, Nevada October 25, 2007

Free Your Mind

2010-01-20T11:41:00.000-08:00

Let us abandon our restrictions and live freely from the truth of our hearts. Let us love life as we love our children, and let us love our children as we love life.

The walls of these prisons can only keep our bodies contained for so long, but cannot close in on our minds when we live with resistance in our hearts. I encourage you who read this to learn how to think for yourselves.

In these cells of seclusion we learn to embrace knowledge in its rawest form and when you have become accustomed to embrace what is real and what is true, you naturally reject all that is false and untrue.

Let us abandon our falsehoods as we embrace knowledge and let us share our knowledge to those in need of it, so that the mind of the prisoner can abandon his shackles once for always.

The seeds of resistance have been planted in the soul of the prisoners' heart and bears fruit in the prisoners' mind. Consciousness is forever sweet and so full of soul. It should always be shared and enjoyed. Hold on to it, but pass it on ...

No love for authority,

Coyote

June 4th, 2008

On Heart

2010-01-20T11:39:00.001-08:00

Resistance is in my heart and it stays in my heart. As humans we grow, we develop and we change, but some things never change. Resistance has always been in my heart and always will be. The things that are in our hearts are the things that keep us going, what's in your heart stays in your heart, unless you lose your heart, and if you lose your heart you pretty much die. Your heart is like your lifeline, when you lose your heart you lose your life. I take this literally, 'cuz I'm a soldier and I know what's in my heart, and what keeps it going. It's not hate, it's love. love tor yourself, love for life, love for freedom, justice and equality. My resistance comes from love, not hate, and it's what keeps me going, it's what is in my heart. Love, resistance, truth.

From the depths of my lawless heart,

Coyote

Ely State Prison 2008

Despair

2010-01-20T11:37:00.000-08:00

These walls were built with hate and I imagine that they will be destroyed with hate. In a sanatorium we live, we struggle, and we die. How do we overcome this?

They call it ELY STATE PRISON, I call it Ely State Zoo. Come watch us and see what we do while we sit in our cages. Listen to our beastly roars and our soul-wrenching howls and our lonesome chirps. We live in cages called cells. We live in hell where despair pervades the atmosphere of our hearts. We live in institutions where the air is stale and the walls are pale. We live in agony.

Listen to the sound of dread as it enters your cell through the ventilation system: "Fuck the system, buck the system": words that still ring in our ears, even though some stopped trying a long time ago. We don't care any more, and when you stop caring, you begin to go numb and your mind deteriorates, crumbles, fades.

We are the wretched, the little people with broken souls, holding on to death, refusing to let go.

This is my profane existence as I sit here and try to explain resistance. When my soul gets cold, the hate unfolds, and onto a path of destruction I go.

Despair fills the air in here, another day, another year. When she thinks of me, she sheds a tear.....

Coyote December 20th 2007

(photo: ESP watchtower, Oct 2009)

Today is a Good Day to Live

2010-01-20T11:34:00.000-08:00

Sitting up in these solitary confinement cells, for years on end. I used to always wake up and tell myself that today is a good day to die. But, today is different: it's a good day today. I am pleased with the things I am seeing today. The good spirits and cheer of the convicts around me definitely seems to be resonating with me. Today is a good day to live.

I received a letter in the mail last night and its always good to know there are people out there who actually care about me, about my struggles, and situations and about what’s going on in here. It's definitely a good thing to maintain a solid connection with people on the outside.

Here, where I'm at, the pickle-suits do not pass out the mail until night time, so we have to wait all day and all night, just to see if we get something or not. It’s always uplifting to our spirits to receive a letter from someone or a piece of mail. For some of us, its the only thing we have to look forward to each day in here, so that's one of the things that has me feeling real good about life right now.

I'm also glad to see that other prisoners are on top of their game. There's a guy in the cell a few doors down from me, to my left, who is doing his work-out routing right now. I can hear him counting his sets: "one, two, three: ONE. one, two, three, TWO. one, two, three, THREE". There's another prisoner in the cell a few doors down from me, to my right, who's working on his case-legal work. That's some hard stuff to figure out. It takes a lot of time, study, and practice. It's never easy when you're trying to go up against a system that owns the law, writes the law, and makes the law. But, we all know those people don't play fair. There's always gonna be some kind've dirt on them, so its always possible to beat them at their own game! It’s definitely good to see people on the grind in here, its good to know that they're trying, its good to know that they still have some fight left in them, and its always good to know that they haven't given up.

There are other prisoners all around me, in their cells, who are either exercising, reading, writing, or who are deep into their studies. One of my neighbors, who I often have study sessions with, was talking to me about different styles of study; how someone could really get a good study program down if he was truly serious about his studies. He said there are all kinds of things a prisoner can study if he really wants to learn something and not only learn, but apply it too. I told him I feel him on that. There's a lot of people who read, but don't really take the time to think about what they read. They don't absorb it, they don't try to memorize it, and they don't-try to apply it. They just read to pass the time, which is cool, I guess, because its better to be doing something productive to pass the time than to be on a path of self-destruction, or to even be wasting ticks on a bunch of irrelevant nonsense. He said that he agreed with me and that sometimes he'll spend 2-3 hours reflecting on one sentence. He'll take his etymological dictionary out, he'll break out his encyclopedia and other reference materials and he'll look at the root word to find out where the word originated from, what it means, and when it came into use. Then, he will just sit back and really think about the entire sentence, to see what was underneath the surface. All could say to that was, "WOW." I definitely appreciated his conversation, and that's another thing that has me feeling good about the day today.

So far, there hasn't been any negativity today, nobody yelling or screaming out the side of their doors, calling other prisoner obscene names. Nobody's tripping on the pigs and they aren't going out of their way to mess with any of us today. Even the psych-patients seem to be quiet today. No banging on the desks or kicking on the doors - and they haven't been yelling and screaming at all today, like they often do.

The morale amongst the prisoners on this tier seems to be pretty good. The conversations have been productive and uplifting. I can definitely sense that everybody's feeling pretty good about themselves today. Everybody's joking, laughing and nobody's stressing, nobody seems to feel the need to be a tough guy or prove themselves to the next man. There's a sense of community on the tier today. It's not something you see around here often so its always a good feeling when it shines forth.

Today is a good day to live. I say that from the solitary confines of a prison cell, so I must be saying something! They haven't killed me, they haven't stripped my spirit or my joy for life. My love for freedom still remains strong. They can't stop me from loving life or from feeling human. I'm alive and it feels good to be alive.

El Coyote

E.S.P. 2007

ABC-Nevada Prison Chapter

We Must Keep Resistance in Our Hearts

2010-01-20T11:32:00.002-08:00

As we swim through the gloominess and murkiness of the treacherous waters of prison life, we must stay focused, we must stay determined and we must keep resistance in our hearts. Resistance to death, resistance to boredom, resistance to stupidity, resistance to stagnation, resistance to insanity, resistance to ignorance, resistance to inhumanity, resistance to oppression and injustice--because resistance is the truth.

We must really look out for each other, as much as we look out for ourselves, because the way we are living in these graveyards is beyond foul. You gotta keep your head above the water, you gotta keep your mind right and be careful of bitter people. Stay away from miserable, hateful people and be cautious of those who want to forever remain stuck on being stupid. Be careful of those people standing at their doors, talking out the side of their necks, trying extra hard to advertise themselves as real motherfuckers, hard motherfuckers, bad motherfuckers. It’s usually people who go the extra mile to advertise themselves as this and that, who are not only insecure of who they are, but are also untrustworthy and probably under-cover informants, or cell thieves. Don't be like that and don't fall into that trap. Keep resistance and truth in your heart and fakeness can't and won't touch you, or even come near you.

Sitting in a cell, with 4 walls to keep you company on cold, lonely nights, is a perfect time for us to take a deeper look into to ourselves and to take a deeper, more critical look at our lives. Use this time as an opportunity, look at it as a blessing. Don't let others define what real is for you, Take a hard, critical look at things, question everything you hear and everything you see and let yourself find your own conclusions and definitions of what real is; of what truth is.

Try to use this time to take a deeper, harder look at who you are and a deeper look at what you stand for. Are you influenced mostly by your environment? Are you mostly influenced by your comrades and peers? (If so, is this good or bad? Why?), or are you mostly influenced by what beats in your heart and what flows through your veins?

Take a deeper look at what makes you tick and at your reasoning's, judgments, and motives of why you do what you do. Use this time to really get to know yourself, because people who are true to themselves know who and what they are, and they are apt to be resistant towards anything that isn't true. We must be true to ourselves under these circumstances, or we will drown in these dirty, treacherous waters of prison life. Don't be a follower, fuck being a leader--just be true to yourself and to those who are true to you.

Resistance is a truthful way of life. Resistance is absolutely necessary and absolutely mandatory in these graveyards. It’s good to seek truth, its good to be true. Watch out for fakes and snakes--they're everywhere. Watch out for people who are trying to pull you under the rip- tide, just to keep themselves from drowning. Be true to you, keep resistance in your heart.

Coyote ESP 2008

Life is Good

2010-01-20T11:32:00.001-08:00

If you love life, you're going to live life. You're going to find a way to prevail, you're going to keep pushing, keep striving. You're going to find a way to survive, to shine, and to make it through each difficult situation.

Those who love life are going to live life, no matter where they' re at in life: jail, prison, a broken home, stuck in a bad relationship, stuck in poverty, the ghetto, on the reservation, in the projects .... Whatever, wherever, you're going to find a way to keep existing, because you love life too much to let yourself fade, break, wither, and die.

I love life, and I'm living my life. I'm here, stuck in this hell hole, but I'm still alive, and I'm going to stay alive because I'm thankful to be alive. I wake up everyday feeling good, because I know I'm a good motherfucker. I wake up everyday feeling thankful cuz I know I'm blessed.

I deal with the struggles of being in prison and I keep moving. I deal with the despair, I deal with the agony, the suffering, the misery, and I keep living. I deal with the depression, I deal with the destruction and I deal with the hate. I keep loving life and I keep living my life. Life is beautiful, I'm thankful to be alive. I live in a graveyard, but I'm not dead, I'm alive and well.

EI Coyote May 2, 2008

To all who care: another open letter

2009-12-31T14:28:00.000-08:00

This is a response to a discussion in the Ely Times, where a former officer of Ely State Prison, who calls himself Local Boy 76, comments without verifications about Coyote.

The first letter by Coyote was published here:
Make the Walls Transparent
and here.
This is his second letter.

by Coyote

These few humble words go out to the “Local Boy 76” and to all who care to know what I have to say and to all who would like to join in these open chats. Please, try to stay as open-minded as you can, because I know that most people in society have been taught to believe that all of us behind these walls are the ”scum of the earth,” but I'm just here to try to put things into perspective, if I can.

And I know people really don't know what goes on inside of these sunless cemeteries; they don't know about the effects of long-term isolation; about sensory deprivation; and they don't know about inmates assaulting officers, or about officers assaulting inmates; they don't know about the code of honor that the convicts live by, or about the gang bang mentality of a lot of these prison guards; they don't know about the barbaric nature of prison life; or about the racism, the stagnation, the deterioration, the gangsterism, the perversion and all of the crazy, sick and depressing things that take place in these graveyards, and how both the guards and inmates alike have to turn off their feelings and numb themselves daily just to be able to adapt and cope with the constant madness that goes on in this demented world of darkness; where there is no real love; no real hope; no incentive to try to do good; no programs; real medical care, treatment and no serious opportunities to reform; and where the quality of life is very low, causing things to only deteriorate and get worse and worse as time goes by.

So, for those who actually care, it is important to use sites like these to be able to air it all out, and hopefully to address some of these issues so that it can lead to positive results. Not only for prisoners, but for the communities that some of these prisoners will have to return to.

Well, in my previous engagement I tried to bring “Local Boy 76” (a former guard here at ESP) into the foray, to get him to really be honest and critical about things and to give him a chance to be a real hero and help us get to the root cause of why this place has the ability to turn even the guards into animals, and maybe to help inform the general public of the true nature of these prisons; and to examine the mentality of the prison guard and of the convict; but it seems like he's more concerned with how many letters of commendation he's received while working at the prison, which he tries to make it appear that these letters of commendation make him out to be such an outstanding prison guard!

Well, I was curious about these letters of commendation that the big shot caller, “King of Ely,” Warden McDaniel likes to pass out to his faithful followers, so I asked about seven of these officers if they've ever received any letters of commendation from the big-time circus leader, McDaniel and every officer that I asked, except for two of the new guards still in training, said, “Yes.”

And when I asked them what did they get these letters of commendation for, some of them just shrugged their shoulders and said, "For working overtime and stuff like that." These letters of commendation don't seem to be very important to them, more like a "doggie treat" and a pat on the head than anything else, I guess for sitting, fetching and rolling over for the “King of Ely,” himself.

So big deal "Local Boy 76,” you got some letters from the warden telling you how good of a suck ass you were. So what? That doesn't make you a hero, Man, so take your cape off and sit your goofy ass down in a corner somewhere.

And so you think I'm a waste of life, huh? I'm glad you can be honest and say what you really feel about me. I think your statement gives people a glimpse into the average mentality of the prison guard. I know a lot of guards (not all) think that all of us in here are worthless "pieces of shits” and I'm glad you could help me make this point. But more so, I'm really glad that you don't work here anymore! And I don't tell myself lies, "L. B. 76;" I just don't let people like you tell lies about me.

The truth is, I've had plenty of time to sit back and think about things, because believe it or not, I actually have a deep passion and joy for life that pushes me to really want to rise above all this degeneration, which drives me to just really sit back and reflect on my life, taking the time to slay my own personal dragons (which has been a real struggle!).

I've taken a good, hard look at my life, at life in general, at the system, and society, at love, relationships, family, everything, and believe me, I'm not disillusioned, by far. I don't claim to know it all, but I've been able to come to know myself and come to know my own conclusions of things.

In my previous letter I told it like it was, everything I said was real. Yet you came back and tried to discredit me again, by saying that if I keep lying to myself that I'll eventually believe the lies (even though you've failed to admit to lying yourself with your fictional story about my so-called assault of a female officer), but you provide no real argument to try to show how anything I said in my open letter was untrue, so you're just blowing hot air dude, talking out the side of your neck, with your doggie treat letters, knowing damn well what I said was the truth, even though I was only just touching the surface.

You're sitting out there in the free world, on the computer at midnight, arguing with ladies like "Little Missy" and "Six Wheels," about a man in prison, and yet you have the self-centered audacity to call me a waste of life? Get real, Dude. Do something with your life, Man. You make these fake allegations of me being someone who caused problems all the time, failing to elaborate, trying to make me look bad. How do we know that your definition of causing problems isn't just me putting articles on MTWT, telling it like it is?

But if you want to get real, we can sit here and discuss things, if you want? If you want to pretend that nothing is wrong here at ESP and that overall nothing of any significance is going on here in this death camp, but then if that's true, then tell me why there have been about 60 officers in the last year who have either quit working here, or transferred to other prisons? And then tell me, in what other prisons in this country has a dropout rate of correctional officers as high, or higher than that?

And if nothing´s happening here, then why has the ACLU taken up a class-action lawsuit against ESP? Why have the Feds investigated certain doctors/medical staff that have worked here at this prison? Why did Lorraine Memory -- a real hero -- risk her career and more to write a 13 page declaration about the deaths, discrimination and the negligence that have all taken place here?

Why are there so many different lawsuits going against “The King of Ely” and his goons? Answer these questions, “Mr. Firm, Fair and Consistent.”

But no, I've never claimed to be an angel. I've gone through rough patches in my life, on a path of self-destruction. I've had my share of ups and downs, took my hits and kept moving. I still struggle to this day to keep my cool and to maintain my sanity in here. It has all been a process of self-discovery, of shedding my old skin, finding my essence and coming into my own. I can honestly say consciousness is a savior, and not to mention that I've had to be a fighter to even get to the point where I am now.

I see prisoners lose their minds in here, fall under, and break all the way down until they've lost their souls. I've seen the madness, I've lived this shit, and the cold part about it is, it takes a serious level of resistance to stay strong and persevere and to keep a shred of your humanity, but it's that same resistance that gets us in trouble with the prison administration and that keeps us confined to a cell for 24 hours a day for months and years at a time. So it's a Catch 22. There's really no way to win. You either let this shit break you, or you don't, but either way you lose. There's no real victories.

You hear about people in the world that gamble away their whole life savings. You hear about drug addicts who throw their whole lives away trying to chase that next fix, but then you've got people like me who could have one bad day and say fuck it all. It's been a struggle to overcome self-destruction, resist depression and come to grips with life all at the same time.

It's hard to care, when no one cares about you.

And that's the case for a lot of people in here. We had it bad before we came to prison, have it bad while in prison, and will still have it bad when we get out. Going from living in a cage, treated like dirt, and then thrown back into a world that makes no sense to you, as an ex-felon, with strikes against you, trying to learn how to live out there, it's no wonder people are scared to leave prison. These are things that people have to understand. These are things that need to be addressed.

I get out of here in three years. I don't want to get out and fail. I don't ever want to come back to this shit, but nobody ever really wants to come back, but it happens, it's a revolving door, it happens, people come back, and it‟s sad.
We've got to talk about all of these things. We've got to hear it from all sides. There's not just one side to this story. Everybody has a side of the story to tell, the victim, the offender, the guards, society, everybody has their own side of the story, and we can't forget that.

People who don't know me can´t really judge me, ´cuz they haven´t been through what I've been through, they haven't endured what I've endured, they haven't seen how this darkness turns people into monsters. All they know is what they've seen on some prime time television drama, they don't want to know the brutal realities of this horrific world called prison!

And until people start to look at things from all sides, there will never be any true understanding, and without true understanding there will never be any effective solutions to these problems, struggles and tragedies of society, poverty, crime and life.

For all those who care, I just want you to know that I'm here to help now, I'm here to raise awareness and to be a part of the solution. I'm here to pour out my soul, plant seeds of consciousness and to make a difference in my own way.
I've seen how this place, these prisons can turn a kind soul into a cold soul. I've seen what this madness does to a man. That's one of the reasons I'm constantly trying to make more people aware of how important it is to build true, solid relationships between the people on the outside and the people in prison who actually strive to rise above these heartbreaking struggles.

We've been placed in prison and separated from our families, separated from meaningful relationships with the only people in the world who care about us and thrown into a zone of war, deceit, violence, negativity, sadism, corruption, gangsterism, racism, addiction and destruction, and then forced to learn how to sink or swim with the sharks and in the process of survival, become as heartless as the next man.

We've been thrown into these prisons, stripped of a sense of purpose, will and spirit and slowly we begin to lose a sense of connection with life beyond these walls and we become more and more tuned into this barbaric world of predation, and as we become more and more tuned into this madness called "prison life" we become less and less tuned in to ourselves as we learn to numb ourselves and brace ourselves and endure loneliness, torment and all kinds of suffering: and then released back into society and forced to learn how to live out there with the odds stacked against you. It's sick!

And until people start caring about us, and about what goes on in these hellholes, things will only get worse. We're not gonna be able to care enough about ourselves until people start caring about us, and that's real!

We need people to get involved in our lives in real and meaningful ways, because we have been exiled from society and placed in an even more hopeless environment, and we start to deteriorate and become even more antisocial until we get to the point where we feel we have nothing to lose and that's when we become reckless with our lives and we go all out, throwing it all down the toilet, and we are destroying ourselves and being destroyed while having to survive this profane existence. It's inhumane. It's madness.

For those who care, we need people to get involved in our struggles, in our lives, we need people to give us something meaningful to look forward to, we need love, support and guidance from our communities, our families, and from people who care. We need to have something real to connect to.

So "Local Boy 76," you can wave around your doggie treat letters of commendation, and put your cape on and tell make-believe stories of heroic attempts to save damsels in distress all you want, if that's what you want to do.

It doesn't matter what you do, because it‟s really not going to stop me from doing what I do. But I‟m asking you one more time, to get involved in something meaningful here. Help us expose the injustices and the inhumanity that takes place in this graveyard called ESP. It´s up to you, Man. You can be a real hero. You can do something real. You can

start by telling people how this prison has the ability to turn even the guards into animals. It´s up to you, “Local Boy 76.”

And with that said, I‟m opening up the lines of communication for anyone who has anything significant to say or who want to get involved. Let‟s air it all out, let‟s put it all on the table, let‟s hear it from all sides. Let‟s talk about these things. If you really care, then here‟s your chance to get involved in something positive.

In truth and with sincerity,

Coyote
AKA: “Local Prisoner 77”

P.S.
For letters of encouragement you can write me at this address:
Coyote Sheff # 55671
PO Box 1989
Ely, NV 89301-1989

This was also published here.

Open Letter to Localboy76 (i)

2009-12-31T14:27:00.002-08:00

By Coyote Sheff
Note: This is in part a response to a poster on the Ely Times Message Board who calls himself Localboy76.

It is important what Local Boy 76 said about how prison has tendencies turn officers into animals…

I find it hilarious how people try to discredit my stories and call them “fictional”, and then when confronted and asked why my stories are fictional, all they can say is that I’ve assaulted officers.

Yes, for the record, I have assaulted officers in the past. I have been taken to court, pled guilty, and picked up new charges and time for it too. But no, I’ve never tried to shank any female officers and no shank was ever wrenched from my hand. I had to laugh out loud when I read that because it’s funny the extremes people will go to to try to discredit me. Come on, Local Boy 76, instead of trying to make yourself look like a hero by creating fiction of your own, why don’t you tell the people what really goes on in here! Then, you’ll REALLY be a hero!
Try to imagine this. You take the tiger out of the wild and put him in a cage and you starve him and whip him and then you use food to train and tame him until the tiger complies and the next thing you know, you’ve got the tiger jumping through hoops. That tiger isn’t the tiger anymore, now he’s a circus animal.

Well, some of us in here, we don’t forget that we are tigers. We pace our cages and we keep resistance in our hearts, and we are not interested in becoming circus animals. So when the lion-tamer, or circus master comes around rattling our cages and insists on poking and prodding us with a psychological stick, the tiger in us is going to come out, and yes, we are going to try to lash out, I mean what do you expect us to do?

When locked down in a cell all day, for years on end, you undergo a process of sensory deprivation, and for some, the effects of sensory deprivation are different than they are for others. Some of us become depressed. Some of us become violent. Some of us become paranoid and some just completely lose their minds. These are extreme circumstances and even a lot of the guards who keep us contained in these cells have told me personally that they couldn’t last a day living in a cell like this.

In these drastic circumstances, many of us prisoners have learned to see ourselves as “combatants” as a means to survival. (Kind of like Sen. John McCain when he was a POW.) And this is more of a psychological battle than it is a physical one. And while we are affected by the effects of long-term isolation and sensory deprivation, and at the same time when we are provoked, this perspective, were treated unfairly, while we live on perpetual lockdown in this prison, with nothing to lose and with no real incentive to do good, then yes under these extreme and primitive conditions we sometimes explode and get violent.

There’s many factors involved, it’s not solely the guards fault. I mean one guard might be the one provoking the prisoner, and another guard who had nothing to do with it at all might be the one who gets assaulted. There are many sides to this story and there are deeper things going on. One example to take into consideration is the mentality of the convict, versus the mentality of the prison guard. You have two different mentalities thinking along two different lines. The guards want to teach the prisoner a lesson, the prisoner refuses to recognize the authority of the guard and feels that he can’t be taught a lesson because the prisoner feels he already knows right from wrong according to his own set of standards that he lives by as a convict. Or whatever. So then, we have a psychological power struggle, that can very easily get out of hand and directed violence.

Also, the way people like me and Funches see things, politically, are completely different than the mainstream political perspective of most of these guards. Like for example, Local Boy 76 says: “Don’t get me wrong, there are several decent convicts that know they have done something wrong and realize that they have a debt to pay to society”.

Well, well, I definitely realize that my lifestyle and my actions are what lead me to prison. But that doesn’t mean I recognize the legitimacy of this so-called American justice system. I know for a fact that this is a corrupt and evil justice system, where the police in our own communities are as criminal and gangster as the people they lock up. There is documented evidence that police have planted evidence, lied in their testimonies, beaten and even murdered so-called suspects. Racism and oppression and all these things are what keep this justice system going, so no, I don’t recognize the legitimacy of the American justice system, and there is no real treatment or rehabilitation inside these prisons, so no, I don’t feel I have a debt to pay to society that doesn’t care about me. I feel that I have a debt to pay to myself and a debt that I have to pay to my family, only.

So my political views are way different than those of most of these correctional officers, and because of this, there’s always going to be a clash, where they feel the need to punish me for some petty rule violation that I don’t recognize, because according to my own standards, I’m not doing anything wrong. And by following these petty rules, it’s not going to help me to get out of here and return to society as a productive member. All it does is belittle and dehumanize me.

Some of these guards here are cool. They are respectful and fair and understanding and they do their job and then go home at the end of their shift. I have respect for them and they have respect coming from everybody, because they respect themselves and because they’re respectful of others. But even then there are a lot of guards who have that gang bang mentality, believe it or not, and when those guards see these guards being fair, or cool with us, then the guards with the gang bang mentality will ride their co-workers and give them hell and call them “inmate-lovers”, or call them “friendly”, or “nice” and use peer pressure to try to discourage them of being fair and respectful towards the inmates. And so they see that it’s better to be an “inmate-hater” than to be shunned or ostracized for being a so-called “inmate-lover”.

And then there’s guards here who are even more spiteful, vengeful and hateful than they say we are, and who are always out to show the prisoners that they are the boss, and that they are in control and they’ll go out of their way to mess with us and do things just to show us that they are the ones running shit, not us. Not to mention the fact that there’s guards here who lie in their reports (write-ups), usually to cover their own asses because they weren’t doing their job correctly in the first place, and no matter if we are guilty or not, we are found guilty nine times out of 10 when we go to disciplinary, whether there’s evidence or not. And then there’s guards who want to enforce the rules that make things hard on the inmates, but don’t want to follow, or abide by certain policies that will make their own jobs more difficult. So, to me, that’s like saying: “Fuck you. You’re a prisoner. You have no rights. I’m an officer. I can do whatever I want!”
So, when you put us in a situation where we don’t have nothing coming, and where we can’t win and the guards don’t play fair, and where we have no incentive to even try to do good, in a maximum-security prison, where the tensions are always high and some of these guards are just as violent, or as criminal as they say we are, then yes, they’re going to be times where staff gets assaulted and there’s going to be times where staff assault the prisoners, and usually when that happens, they get away with it.

Abuses of authority and the violation of our civil rights happen on a daily basis here in Ely State Prison and it’s going to take a situation like that Patrick Cavanaugh case, and the Kevin Lisle case and the Marritte Funches case to expose what really goes on in this graveyard called Ely State Prison, because there is no oversight here in Nevada. So that’s why it’s absolutely necessary for our supporters to put up websites like MTWT. So keep up the good work and don’t get discouraged by people like Local Boy 76 because what you’re doing is real and very necessary.
So, “Local Boy 76″, if you don’t like me ‘cuz I’ve assaulted officers in the past, then say that. But don’t try to make up some bullshit story of me assaulting a female officer on the very first hour of her very first day and how you heroically disarmed me, and try to use that to make it seem like what I’m saying in my articles isn’t valid. Come on now.

I’ve even had guards come to my cell door and tell me that they read my articles on MTWT and that what I’m saying is “very accurate and true, unlike some of the other stories on there by other prisoners.”

“Local Boy 76″, if you want the public to know that I’ve assaulted officers in the past, then I’ll tell them myself. Yeah, I’ve assaulted officers, because I wanted them to understand I’m a tiger and not the circus animal and also they wouldn’t mess with me again, because that’s the mentality I had back then and because that’s what this place does to you. And this place has obviously had a tragic effect on you too, because you said it yourself that prison has a tendency to make even the officers into animals to a certain extent and that you are well on your way to losing your humanity by working here at E.S.P!

Yeah you’ve got out of this place, but this place hasn’t gotten out of you. Instead of trying to discredit me and Funches because you don’t like us ‘cuz we’ve assaulted officers, or whatever, why don’t you be a real hero and help us try to expose what really goes on here and expose the root causes to what makes us want to assault officers.

Most of the prisoners are in prison because they’ve committed crimes and because for some underlying reason or another, they are criminals. And they will tell you themselves that they are criminals, but when the officers behave and act like criminals, then what’s their excuse? Anyone who works for one certain state bureaucrat is working for one of the biggest criminals in Nevada. All of the other officers will then turn a blind eye to the criminal acts that take place against the staff and administration of E.S.P., but are quick to try to discredit me as some heartless predator who stabs and attacks female officers on their first hour of their first day, but don’t even have the paperwork to prove it. You can’t use my history to discredit me, Man, because I’ll be the first to say it: I’ve assaulted officers and you guys are pigs!

Now let’s see if you cowards have what it takes to get on this site and say what you really feel about us! Or we can stop all this hate, and really try to come together and fix the problems that exist in the system and these prisons!

And for the record, I don’t have any problems with any of these female officers. These gang banging male correctional officers are just mad because I’m always asking the female officers to marry me.

I’m opening the lines for discussion or if anybody wants to write me directly you can reach me here:

Coyote Sheff # 55671
PO Box 1989
Ely, Nevada 89301

Solitary Enslavement

2009-12-31T14:27:00.001-08:00

By Coyote

.... We sit in these cells like dead bodies sit in cemeteries. Death fills our lungs, fills our minds, fills our hearts and fills our souls as it lurks and lingers and seeps through the concrete. Our minds go numb and our spirits fade into inactivity. We sit here waiting to waste away, erode, dissolve, and disappear into the cracks of the cement.

Solitary confinement. What an evil concept, what a wicked notion, what a clever way to destroy a man without even laying a finger on him. Solitary confinement -- the murderer of minds, hearts, and souls. The person who designed such an evil conception must've had murder on his mind and hate in his heart.

We die alone in these cold cells, as our hands stretch out to clutch concrete, but fail miserably to hold anything in their grasp other than the death-stenched air. We die alone -- a lonely, miserabIe, suffering death. We die alone….

This was also published here.

Atrocity

2009-12-31T14:15:00.000-08:00

By Coyote Sheff
(Taken from: Make the Walls Transparent)
It is 3:07 a.m. as I sit here in this cold silence of another imprisoned November night, I can hear the echoes of the ghetto life ringing clearly in my head; the gunshots, the sirens, the dogs barking the helicopters. It has been years since I’ve been in the ghetto, but the memories are still with me. Living in the ghetto, to me, is like what I’d imagined it had been to be in the war in Vietnam, the sounds, the constant violence, the despair.

The cold silence is broken by the screams of a crazy Indian on the top tier and my “ghetto day dream” fades away. I tune in to the screams and the noise. There is a psych patient upstairs on the other end of the tier. He’s an Indian dude named Pacheco. He is always yelling out racial profanities like “Fuck all Niggers!” and other stupid shit like that.

Tonight he has a new mantra. I can’t make out his words though, but he keeps repeating it over and over again. It seems that he has succeeded in frustrating a couple cats up there in his area, because I can hear their angry responses. One of the cats comes to the door and tells Pacheco to shut the fuck up, so Pacheco repeats his mantra louder and then I hear another cat yell from the back of his cell, “I’m gonna smash your face in if I see ya!”

Pacheco is an old Indian with long grayish hair and I can tell by the nature of his speech that he is missing his teeth. Maybe that’s why he’s so bitter, who knows. His whole purpose, his whole intent is to make everyone around him miserable and unfortunately he does a good job at it. He’s a “terrorist”, using psychological warfare and mental torture as MO Modus operandi: In here we refer to people like that as “a piece of shit.” They like to terrorize everybody around them for no apparent reason other than the fact that misery loves company, I guess.

Pacheco was my neighbor once, five years ago on another unit back here in the hole. For no reason other than to disturb me, he’d bang on my wall and bang on the desk all day long and he’d yell over me when I was trying to talk to one of my comrades over the tier just to prevent me communicating with others. That’s something a hater would do.

I got fed up with his shit and one day I unattached the cable cord from my TV and stripped the cable cord completely so there was nothing left inside of it and I turned it into like a little hose and when Pacheco was sleeping I’d run the hose over to the front of his cell and I’d piss in the hose and I’d continue to do it all throughout the night. Every time I had to take a piss and it would create a good-sized puddle inside his cell and when he’d walk up to grab his breakfast tray, he’d step in a big puddle of piss! He would terrorize me, keep me from sleeping, keep me from socializing and communicating with others and he’d stress me out, making me angry and unable to think clearly, so this was all I had, this was all I could do to get back at him.

The cold part about it was that he had the choice of either getting down on the floor and cleaning up MY piss, or leaving it there and smelling it all day and all night, so it was a lose-lose situation for him. I pissed in his cell every night, for a whole week straight and then these guards hurried up and moved him to another unit. The officers didn’t know it was my piss, though, they thought he was pissing on his own floor. Oh well.

These aren’t the types of stories people are used to reading about prison, I’m sure. But I keep it real and tell it how it really is in here. These are the atrocities of life in a maximum-security prison. This is just a glimpse of the inhumanity, the suffering, and the torture. It’s just a small example of how we are reduced to such lows, such drastic measures just to try to keep a piece of our peace of mind. It is very sad, this solitary life of madness. How can one get out of here and expect to live a normal or at least a decent life after this? How can one go from living like an animal to living as a free person in society?

This is a sad, lonely, disgusting profane existence here in this world, behind these cold stone walls and chain link fences and people need to understand this they need to know what really goes on in these maximum security prisons, where surviving perpetual lockdown has become a way of life.

I write about these things so people can understand, because we need support from people on the outs. We need to be provided the tools that will help us adjust after being in prison, living like this, to becoming free and trying to live and maintain in society. Most of the people who are in prison already had it bad before they came to prison, they have it bad while in prison, and then they have to go out and try to make it good with strikes against them? How does that work? It was bad before, it’s bad now and it’s still going to be bad after they get out, so how is prison solving crime? How is prison helping society? We are caught in a system that was not designed to care about us; we are caught up in a system that was not designed to help us. This system has no mercy for the poor. It’s an atrocity.

So when I say that I’m greeting you from a graveyard, I think you know what I mean. We are traumatized by all of this, from the ghettos to these prisons; it’s a miserable existence. We need to come together and find ways to rise above this.

Coyote

Ely State Prison
November 2, 2008

This was also published here.

The Thoughts of an Exile

2009-12-31T14:13:00.000-08:00

While I sit, stand, lay here in this cell, exiled from American society and confined to 4 gruesome walls that were intentionally designed to break me all the way down, my heart beats furiously, yet proudly with resistance and I try to keep my mind open, heart open and eyes open, reaching out for truthful knowledge and for deeper understandings of self, love and life. I read, I study, I write, I contemplate and reflect, I hold discussions, I have conversations and try to engage others.

In these dungeons we are cut off from family, cut off from the world and cut off from a real education, but the people in here who linger, lurk and fester in these graveyards seem to love to learn all they can about their own history, culture, heritage and traditions, even though they're usually considered lower than dirt in the eyes and minds of society, they still carry their pride of who they are and they hang on to that very tightly. I really dig that.

There are definitely some powerful and dangerous minds lurking in some of these cells, people who have taken true means to let the shackles, chains, cuffs and restraints from their minds. I feel blessed to have been able to come in contact with people in this clandestine world who could be so intelligent, artistic and resourceful, even while confined to a cold, hateful, primitive place like this. It's because of these experiences and because of meeting these people that it feels good to be lower than dirt, it fee Is good to be so close to the earth. I appreciate the blessings and the lessons of being an exile.

While I write this, I'm on the second day of a 4-day fast with a native comrade of mine. He told me he was going to go on a fast tor a few days, to set things in order with himself and that he'd holler at me in a few days. I said, "Hey, wait a minute! I´ll do it with you." So, here I am on the second day of this fast, trying to stay strong and focused, no talking, no eating and no masturbating; and trying to keep negative thoughts out of my head. My native comrade Xemo has his reasons for going on his fast, which are mostly spiritual, and I have my reasons and objectives.

First, I wanted to show him solidarity, as he is someone I feel connected to in meaningful ways, so I wanted to encourage him to keep going and to get his mind right, heart right, soul right. Prison isn't the most positive or productive place, and we sit here amongst all this hate, madness, violence, gangsterisrn, materialism and corruption, it's hard not to get caught up in it, it's hard not to think like all those around you, it's hard to rise above it. So, I knew if I were to go on this fast with my native comrade, it would inspire and motivate him to hold strong. Secondly, I felt the need to do this for myself, to back up oft the door, take my mind away from this place and tune in to myself and mostly to challenge myself.

To me, fasting is an act of enduring pain and coming out of it stronger, it's an act of sacrifice. It calls for me to will myself to keep going under desperate situations, to keep fighting, to keep resisting, to keep holding on, to stay focused, to stay disciplined and to stay strong. Of course, there are deeper spiritual meanings attached to it. But 1'11 have to admit that this fast isn't really tor spiritual purposes tor me, other than sacrificing my food, conversation, urges and desires to will myself to endure and overcome anguish, pain and torment, and I'm doing this to prepare myself for tutu re hardships. Those are my reasons tor taking up this fast.

Xemo tells me stories, sings me songs in Crow, sings me songs in Lakota, sings me songs in Shoshone. He sings songs about the eagle, he sings songs about the bear, he sings songs about the determination of the wolf. He taught me how to sing a healing song and he taught me how to sing a unity song. He tells me something good about the coyote, he says a coyote can adapt to any situation, you can take a coyote out ot the Nevada desert and put the coyote in Africa and the coyote will find a way to survive. I will always remember that.

I believe we become stronger through our pain, we become wiser, with a clearer outlook on life, a keener insight, and more compassionate and understanding after overcoming, or enduring struggles and painful situations. I believe we need to be challenged by life, every now and again, and it's through these challenges that we grow (spiritually) and develop (mentally) and transform our thinking into higher states of consciousness.

It's about the mind, body and soul. It's about atonement. It's spiritual, mental and physical, it's not only about being a warrior, but it's about being alive. This is not my first fast, but I've learned a lot from Xemo, 'cuz he was kind enough to take the time to reach out to me and teach me things about his culture, which isn't much different from the Yaquis, Aztecs and Mayas, and I am very appreciative for my friend's time and kindness, and it felt good to hear him sing his songs, he sings from deep in his soul.

My appreciation of these gifts leads me to write this brief report on it and include it in this zine, to give people a small peak into the life and mind of an exile. We prisoners are exiles, because we've been exiled from life, exiled from society, exiled from real, human relationships, exiled from culture and traditions and customs and celebrations, but as long as we choose to keep the things that are most important to us in our hearts, then we are still thriving and surviving.

There's a difference between living and maintaining, people in prison aren't living, we're maintaining and some of us aren't even doing that. Times are hard in prison, this place can make your heart hard like cement and your soul cold like steel. This place breeds hate and anger. A lot of people are influenced by racism and prejudice ways of thinking. Some prisoners read and study their culture and history and use it as a tool to hate, hate and hate. They learn to hate other people and other races, 'cuz they're not like them. They don't understand the true lessons, ways, teachings and understandings of their ancestors. They don't understand that when you take things back to their roots and origins, you see that we all come from the same place, and in 50 many ways, we are all related. People who embrace the true understandings of their ancient cultures aren't haters, but have a trued appreciation and respect for their own culture, as well as others.

I see all this hate around here, and to me it's ignorance. It breaks my heart to see and experience all this madness every day. People who talk out of hate (in my opinion), usually speak with ignorance, people who talk out of love, usually speak with the intelligence of their hearts. If you're someone who claims to love your people 50 much, then they take true strides to do real things for your people, instead of using all that energy to hate on the next man, or the next race, just because he ain't like you.

I sit in my cell and do my fast, Xemo is in his cell, a few cells down from me, doing his fast. We are both locked down, but we are resourceful enough to find ways to communicate with each other and still keep people out of our business. I sit here in solitude, with no one or nothing to fear but myself and let these thoughts pour out of a heart that's been broken a thousand times, but comes back and beats stronger and stronger each time. I feel the pain in my stomach, but I keep going, I don't eat, I don't have the desire to eat, only the desire to keep going, and that's what I'm going to do, I can endure the pain, I'm a warrior, I am ready for whatever challenges that await me ...

From the depths of my restless heart,
Coyote
E.S.P. 2008

This was also published here.

There´s No Love Here

2009-12-31T14:11:00.000-08:00

In the depths of these dregs where our souls dwell in darkness as our minds dwindle like dust in the wind, we sit here with sad looks on our faces, waiting for a letter in the mail or a hot meal to be served. Waiting, waiting, waiting, always waiting for something, but it seems like nothing ever comes. Nothing good, anyways.

There's no love here. Not in this artificial world of concrete and steel, surrounded by razor wire, and gun towers, which are enclosed by mountains on all sides. There's no love in these confinements, just a lot of hate, anger. agony, hopelessness, loneliness and despair. The closest thing you'll find to love in here, is pain.

There's no love here, no sunshine, no fresh air. But if you open your eyes long enough to see, you will find that there is plenty of destruction, depression, aggression, torment, suffering, and death. The coldness that permeates the atmosphere seeps through our skin to our bones and chills our soul. We've been discarded by society, separated from our families, left to sit, suffer, rot, and die. They don't care, so we don't care. There's no love here.

Coyote, 2008
Anarchist Black Cross,
Nevada Prison Chapter E.S.P.

This was also published here.

Strategy and Power

2009-12-31T14:09:00.000-08:00

Knowledge is power but for anarchists it's the essence of life. In a prison cell I sit, hungry for knowledge, but not power. My enemies are powerful, so to stay on my toes I have to be as smart, or smarter, than them. There are a lot of people in prison who are naturally intelligent but do not seem to realize or understand the depth of their intelligence because they have been caught in the system for so long. The system is oppressive to growth and intelligence. But even under these oppressive circumstances we can still grow inside, both intellectually and spiritually. In fact, it's usually in the confinements of a cell that many prisoners eventually take the time and effort to awaken the intelligence inside of them. Usually this is done as a mean to survival, because keeping the mind keen and c1ear of destructive thoughts or illusions is indeed a way to resists the psychological oppression that prisoners often go through in isolation.

In my essay "The Importance of Resistance", I briefly mentioned how a lot of prisoners study books on power, warfare and strategy only to end up using that knowledge on other prisoners. I would like to expand on that in this essay.

It is important that oppressed people and imprisoned people take the time to study strategy. It is even more important that we study and learn strategy as a mean to protect ourselves against corrupted people's manipulations and deceptions, but not to become corrupted ourselves and not to manipulate or deceive.

As prisoners we are a powerless people. In these maximum security prisons they've got us confined to these cells, we don't have power over anybody but ourselves. A lot of prisoners are under the impression that being powerful is to maintain power over other people which in truth only contributes to a "self-destructive mentality."

As an anarchist I don't buy' into the concept of power and control. I am being held in prison against my will because of my enemies' power and control, so I know first-handedly that when people are given a position of power over other people, their power is abused and used to control and oppress. The only type of power that I strive for is self-empowerment. Self-empowerment is the only type of power that does not corrupt.

To learn strategy is learning how to survive. This is important in these dark corners of incarceration because most of us have inadvertently been trained to believe that we can't trust each other and that we have to survive by any means and that's their best strategy against us because it keeps us divided and conquered, under their oppression.

If you're locked down, confined and with nothing in your cell, studying strategy would be a productive way to pass your time. Even if you have appliances in your cell you should still try to find the time to study up on different strategies, because these are essential studies for anyone who desires to engage in resistance.

Study strategy, practice what you've learned, memorize and recite these lessons everyday and you will soon become one of the most cunning and strategic prisoners around. Just be sure to use this knowledge for the means of arming yourself and protecting yourself from other's deceptions and for the means of uplifting yourself and others and be careful not to let this knowledge corrupt you or make you scandalous.

Life in prison is a struggle. A lot of us are living real foul and doing "hard time" in here.
Some of us don't have friend and family on the outside to send us money to buy food and hygiene products, so we are forced to hustle or go without. It's situations like these that turn a lot of us out, as we become unprincipled; doing scandalous deeds; being manipulative and dishonest just to make ends meet.

It's cool to have a hustle and to make money, but you'll get farther and feel better about yourself if you use creativity to make money rather than having to "be slick" just to get by. There are all kinds of hustles a prisoner can get going for himself if his head is in the right place and if he stands by his principles as a "convict." We shouldn't have to be forced to associate with rapists, child molesters, snitches and P.c. - just to get by in here, we shouldn't have to be slick or dishonest just to make a couple of bucks.

It's better to have integrity than to live foul. People will get farther in life by keeping it real with themselves and with whoever they decide to associate with. These locked down situations are sucking the life out of us and depriving us of our ability to socialize.
They're trying to strip us of our souls in these graveyards. There're trying to decimate our minds, alter our senses and crush our hearts in here, to the point that we don't know who we are, what we're living for, or where we're going with our lives. We are living in devastating circumstances. We can't let them get us like that, we can't forget who we are, we have to really get in touch with who we are or else we will end up letting them determine that for us. We can't let them determine who we are. We have to know ourselves.

I know what I live for, what I aim for, what I struggle for. I know what I'm striving for and believe me, it's not power! Every day that I am alive is another day of resistance and every breath I breathe is an act of resistance. We are all struggling the same, but we're not struggling together. There are too many amongst us who are motivated by greed, power, materialism and corruption, causing others to take up the same attitude and behavior just to protect ourselves in this somewhat primal environment, and it is destroying us.

When it comes down to it, we don't have control over anybody but ourselves and the only time someone has control over us is when we let them have that control. Control is nothing. Power is nothing. There are more important things in life. Let us stop this madness, instead of trying to control other people's thoughts and actions, let us start trying to take control of our own lives ...

(written by Coyote)
Published here too.

Stagnation

2009-12-31T14:06:00.000-08:00

Minds evaporate in these prisons, life becomes redundant after sitting in these cells day in and day out. Doing the same thing over and over again, your brain begins to deteriorate. We are like water in a pond; there´s no flow in our lives, so we slowly become stagnant, and just like stagnant water we build up with all kinds of bacteria and we become poisonous. We need to flow, we need to stay active, we need to stay productive, or else we become stagnant and poisonous; we become dull and senseless and our lives become miserable and pointless.

Stagnation is misery and in these conditions, misery is death. Feed your mind, tune your intellect, read, study, and learn new things. Apply yourself, apply the new knowledge you learn. Grow, develop create and transcend. Rise above the dirty pool of stagnant water, breathe, let your mind flow until it develops into a beautiful mind, a dangerous mind, a brilliant mind, a powerful mind. Let your mind flow.

Coyote, 2008
Ely State Prison

(Sent to NPW directly from the author on October 27th, 2009)

E.S.P.: The Basic Rundown

2009-12-31T14:04:00.001-08:00

Ely State Prison is a so-called maximum security prison that was opened in 1989 out in the middle of nowhere, outside of a small miner's town called Ely, Nevada. This prison is surrounded by the mountains of Nevada's Great Basin. There are mountains on all sides of this prison. It is very secluded and a four hour drive to any of the nearest major cities.

There are eight units in this prison (not including the infirmary and the camp that sits outside of the prison) and all but one unit is locked down. When I came here in 1998 for battery on a correctional officer, this prison was still opened up, or less restricted I should say.

Units 1, 2, 3,and 4 are all disciplinary segregation units, also known as "the hole". There are 2 wings on each unit. "A-wing" and "B-wing". There is a control pod in between each wing (In ESP everybody calls the control pod "the bubble"). The officer in the control pod can monitor both wings and communicate with us (or eavesdrop on us) through the intercom.

Unit 3A houses all death row inmates, they get to come out together, in sections, for tier time and group yard (12 men at a time). Unit 3B is "the hole" or disciplinary segregation unit, that houses death row inmates who are doing "hole time" (or "D.S. time"). and death row inmates who are on protective custody status, and it also houses some of the regular inmates (non-death row) who are doing hole time.

All throughout these different disciplinary segregation units there are protective custody inmates, jail house snitches, and psych-patients housed on the same tiers as inmates who come back here from general population to do their hole time. This creates a weird atmosphere and a funny-style environment.

Units 5, 6, 7, and 8 are all considered General Population ("G.P."), but unit 8 is the only unit 8 at is open. Unit 8 inmates get tier time and they all get to come out together on the big yard. Most of those inmates are allowed to have jobs that support and uphold the operations of the prison. They get to work in the kitchen, in the laundry, on yard labor crews, some are allowed jobs as barbers who come to the different units and cut the inmates' hair.

Units 5, 6, and 7 were once General Population units, but now that this prison is slammed down I call it "General Populockdown". We are allowed a few extra "privileges" and accommodations that we can't get in the hole. Like, for example, we can wear our blues (in the hole we are only allowed t-shirts, socks, boxers, and an orange jumpsuit). We can order hobby craft and get items oft the commissary that we can't buy in the hole. In order to get out of the hole and go to General Populockdown, the caseworkers say that we have to find a cellie. You have to have someone to live with. Someone that you will be locked down with in the cell for 23 hours a day. lts crazy. This place is a joke.

In the 10 years l've been here, I've seen this place go from bad to worse. Slowly but surely, they've taken so many things away from us and they're creating an even more hopeless situation for us. Every time things change around here, they always change for the worst.

This is just a basic rundown of what its like here at E.S.P. right now. But there's been widespread rumors that things are about to change in October of this year (2008). The rumors have it that they're going to shut down unit 8 and bring in campers from the outside to work the inmate jobs that keep the prison functioning. If these rumors are true, its gonna be all bad for all of us. No hope, just misery.

Coyote
E.S.P.
August 2008

(This text was also published here)

Struggle

2009-12-31T14:02:00.000-08:00

This text was also published here.

STRUGGLE

To live, to fight for what you believe in, to fight for what you have coming to you. To overcome adversity, to eliminate all distractions and to remove self-destructive influences from your life. To fight for your freedom.

To survive, to resist, to become stronger under dire circumstances, to revolutionize and politicize your mind while confined behind enemy lines. To fight against enemies who are more powerful than you, with no fear in your heart and no doubt in your mind.

To oppose the oppressive elements of the system, to oppose government and all elements of authority and power, while building yourself up, educating yourself and putting your knowledge into practice. To achieve self-discipline. To organize yourself and your people, even under the most extreme circumstances and to make solid connections with serious comrades, that will lead to uplifting movements.

Struggle is being able to maintain a sense of confidence while living under the most despairing situations, it's being able to stand your ground no matter what, it's being able to maintain a sense of self, while moving with purpose. Struggle is being able to move forward while striving against great odds.

Struggle is life and life is struggle. It's what makes us stronger, it's what makes us intelligent, it's what makes us grow inside. There's nothing like struggle, there's nothing greater than achieving the things you've set your mind on, there's nothing like helping your people rise up. Struggle is an essential to life.

El Coyote
E.S.P. 2007

Prisons

2009-12-31T13:57:00.000-08:00

This text was also published here.

Prisons are not here to help us. Prisons are not here to rehabilitate. US prisons do not stop, deter, or prevent crime and they never will. The people in power can continue to lock people up and they can keep building more prisons and crime is still going to happen, because we live in an unbalanced world. Everybody wants to be in control, everybody wants to be able to control other peoples' opinions, actions, and options. Nobody wants to break away and take control of their own lives.

It doesn't matter whether we are in or out of prison. The way we are living as people is foul. If you are in prison, however, then you have the opportunity to really sit back and think about things. Whether you take advantage of that opportunity or not, is up to you. We can sit back and think about revolution, freedom, life, and death. We can sit back and think about creation and destruction. We can use this time to destroy our old ways of thinking and reconstruct new ways of thinking and new ways of living in the world.

Prison has no place in this society because there are as many criminals in this society as there are in prison. Even the people in power can be considered criminals. What kind of people are they who let the poor suffer while the rich get richer? What kind of people are they who value money more than another person's life? The people in power get to define the meaning of a criminal only because they are the people in power. I could tell you that the people in power are as criminal as I am, but it wouldn't matter because I am in prison and they are in power. What they decide to do with their power will never be in my best interests because who am I but a prisoner? What the people in power do with their power will rarely be in the best interests of the people, because who are they but powerless people?

So, they leave us with two options: we can be powerful or we can be powerless. We can have or we can have-not. Of course, everybody is going to try to be a person of power and the ones who don't are going to be the ones who end up getting controlled by the people who have power. In this way, we conflict with each other as we strive for power.

All the while, the people who really have all the power benefit from our conflicts, because they're the ones who control our options. As long as we give them that control, they are going to do whatever they want with their power, whether we like it or not.

This is what I think about while I´m in prison, but one should not have to be in prison to think about these things. I should not be in prison, because this prison should not be here. Think about that…..

From a cell, I salute you!

El Coyote 2007
Ely State Prison
Anarchist Black Cross
Prison Chapter

Note: Here's a revolutionary idea: "Lets hear what ´the scum of the earth' have to say!"

Imprisoned Radical Intellectual

2009-12-31T13:54:00.000-08:00

A Pamphlet/Zine by Coyote: IMPRISONED RADICAL INTELLECTUAL
This was also published here.

Something as beautiful as freedom; something that good; something that great could never be free. It seems like it always comes with a price. Trust me when I tell you that it's a high price we have to pay for our freedom, especially if you come from the gutter, born into oppression, born into poverty, it's a high price for anybody who has to live in this world of capitalism because they have found a way to make all people pay for the good things in life.

I feel like I've been paying the price for my freedom for the past 17 years, so when these gates open for me, when I can feel the fresh air in my lungs and when I can feel the sunshine on my face, I want the feeling I get to be worth it. I want the feeling that I get as soon as I step out of these gates to be worth all the pain, all the heartache, all the suffering that I've endured. I want that feeling to be worth all the madness I've gone through in my life. I want to feel it in my soul. I want my soul to know what freedom feels like!

I've paid for my freedom. I've paid for it with the pain of my soul, I've paid for it with the blood of my flesh, I've paid for my freedom with damage to my heart and damage to my mind and I know that because I know how this incarceration has scarred my psyche. I've paid for my freedom, so give me what I´ve got coming, give me what I´ve paid for!

Everybody in the world needs to feel a sense of purpose. A purpose for living. A purpose for being. A purpose for feeling good. A purpose for suffering. A purpose for dying. Many of us in this world are lost, confused, damaged, partly because we don't know our purpose. We subject ourselves to all kinds of abuse and torment; we search for a meaning and a sense of self-worth in materialistic things, like money and possessions. We join gangs, join religious groups, join the military. Women will sell their bodies, not only for money but also for the sense of purpose and people will cling to the first thing that pays them any serious kind of attention. People will do drugs, chasing that feeling, chasing that high 'cuz to them that high feels better that being conscious in this screwed up world. We are running around lost in this world with no real sense of purpose.

I've sat in these cells, in this prison, going through all kinds of crazy, fatal and drastic situations. I've been afflicted by so many devastating things, that have somehow become normal in our everyday lives and I've seen this madness, I've seen its face, I've looked in its eyes, and my heart has been afflicted by all of the pain and suffering that we have to go through in this world.

I've lived in this tormenting hell, going through the motions, just trying to live this penitentiary lifestyle and trying to keep my head above the water, but I've found that no matter how you do your time you will still be afflicted by all of this foulness, you will still be damaged. I've sat in these cells, sat in solitude, trying to find myself, looking for my own purpose in life.

There were times when I thought being a gangster was my purpose. There were times when I thought being a criminal was my purpose. There were times when I thought being a convict was my purpose. I was all of these things and still am a convict, but these are not my purposes in life, they're my struggles. I realized, as I sat here and reflected that those were only purposes that served me, and vet there are thousands of people who suffer and struggle just like me and worse. The more I reflected on that, the more I realized that it´s not about me anymore. I will always be a part of the counter-culture, but I've realized that my purpose in life isn't about me, but about striving to assist others who struggle alongside me.

As we sit in these cells searching for meaning, searching for truthful understanding, we begin to comprehend things in ways we´ve never understood them before. We begin to understand ourselves, our situations and our struggles and once you've embraced these understandings you begin to take steps towards purging yourself from your old ways of thinking and constructing the old ways into a higher realm of thought, until you become conscious, not only by how you think, but conscious in all that you do. Once you become conscious you don't see things like you used to and you begin to feel renewed, enlightened and alive. You take on a new passion for life.

I am a social prisoner. I have become politically conscious and spiritually motivated while in prison for a "social crime". I don't feel the need to twist up my crime to make it seem like I am a political prisoner because I am content with being a social prisoner. I don't feel the need to be considered as a political prisoner to make what I have to say seems valid. I am living in these trenches, behind enemy lines, everyday. I am going through it on a daily basis and as long as I am truthful with who I am and truthful with what I'm saying I know people will be able to connect to it and deem it as valid, and if for some reason certain people choose not to take me seriously, that's their loss.

I can understand why some 'rades might feel the need to be considered political prisoners, because political prisoners get all of the attention. But as social prisoners, as conscious prisoners, as anarchist prisoners, or as imprisoned radical intellectuals, we have a place in this struggle too and if you are resourceful enough and active enough and it what you have to say is valid and as long as people can connect to it, then you can get your voice heard just as much as any political prisoner, but if you're just doing this to get yourself some attention, or just to get your voice heard, with no real intentions of striving to make a difference, then you're doing it tor the wrong reasons. If you are serious about your concerns and serious about your activism it wouldn't matter whether you were considered a political prisoner, or a social prisoner. All that matters is that we want to do something good and make a difference. We want to help people who can't help themselves. When it comes down to it, that's all that matters and if you ain´t about that then you're only living tor yourself.

When people on the streets read this zine, I hope they will want to get more involved with prisoners in meaningful ways. When prisoners read this zine, I hope it will inspire them to take a critical look at their own situation, and maybe even help them to get organized and to start taking action to make things better where they're at. I want people to understand that prisoners are a people who long tor real human contact, we long for real social contact, we long to establish and maintain real, truthful relations and meaningful, substantial connections with people on the outs. We need people to stand by us during these hard times, we need people to get involved in our struggles, and we need people to help us ourselves.

Being institutionalized, addicted to drugs, materialism, violence, being a member of a street gang and being a prisoner and trying to overcome all of these things, these are my struggles, these are my afflictions, but this zine isn't about one man's struggle, this booklet is about the system, about prison, it's about all the people in prisons who struggle just like me. This zine is not about anarchism, it's a zine about imprisonment, struggle, resistance, life and survival, written by an anarchist prisoner.
I see prison as a place that takes people who have been damaged by poverty, neglect, abuse, racism, and addiction and keeps them damaged and damages them even more, so that they're always held down in life. I write this zine to expose a piece of what the system does to us, how we can survive it, why people need to get involved in prisoners struggles and movements and I wanted people to understand, from the perspective of one man who has gone through it and who is still living it and trying to rise above it.

People do not realize that I have been fighting most of my life. Snatched up as a youth, against my will no doubt, and placed in various institutions and juvenile facilities for 7 years. I got out when I was 18 and came to prison when I was 19. I was already "institutionalized" before even coming to prison. It is a struggle that has made me stronger, though it is a sad situation that many of us face in these graveyards.

I don't write about it to brag about it (I'm not that "institutionalized") because it's nothing to brag about, it's nothing to be proud of. Though I feel no shame or self-pity for my own painful experiences, I don't feel proud of them either. There's mixed emotions and mixed blessings that come with all of this. I am appreciative of the things that have made me stronger, disgusted that there are millions of us living like this, grateful that my mind is not only still intact, but even sharper than ever, and I'm heartbroken that there are thousands and thousands of people who won't ever be able to rise above this madness and oppression, ever.

I write about it to show people how this barbaric system deprives us of our youth, deprives us of our emotions, deprives us of our senses, deprives us of our freedom and our humanity. From an early age, many of us are deprived of these essentials and slowly we begin to manifest into institutionalized, anti-social, predatory savages.

There are lots of people who don't understand, can't understand that I've spent the majority of my life in institutions and prisons since the age of 11, but this is a very real situation. People need to be made aware of what we are going through in these institutions, even prisoners need to know what's happening to them, what's really going on, underneath the surface. People need to understand that our lives are real and that the things that we are going through in here are very real, and mothers and parents need to understand that they should keep their kids out of the hands of pigs.

I write about resistance, because there is nothing more important than resistance in a situation like this. Resistance is a means to survival. I have been resisting all of my life, since the age of 11, and for the first 3 years of my captivity, from the ages of 11 to 13, I spent most of that time strapped to a bed, alone in a cold, desolate timed-out room, where the walls were pale and the air was state, not much different than where I'm at now, but I´m not physically strapped to a bed anymore but psychologically, I am confined to a world of darkness, because I cannot envision or even imagine what life would be like, outside of this cell, outside of prison. I'm 30 years old now and as I sit here and try to reflect on the fact that I've survived for 3 decades, I try to figure out what that means, and all I can think of, is that it means I've lived 3 years longer than Bobby Sands and if I can survive for another 3 years, I will have lived as long as Jesus Christ and I guess that means that I'm surviving.

My mind is sharper than the razor-wire that surrounds the prison that contains me. If it wasn't I wouldn't have been able to survive this constant isolation and sensory deprivation for years on end, I'd already be brain-dead, or intellectually dead, or even delirious, like a lot of others in here who unfortunately suffer from some kind of mental illness. Nothing wrong with me, I'm no more messed up than most of the people in society. The only difference between them and me, is if you were to do a CAT-Scan or MRI on my brain, the image that you see on the cover of this zine, is the same as the image you'd see on the MRI: A BRAIN GRENADE! Explosive minds are created in these prisons, for those who resist, for those who think, and for those who strive to elevate themselves, in spite of the infectious and foul conditions we have to live in. Explosive minds, dangerous minds, revolutionary minds, for those who resist.
This place, this graveyard, cemetery, dungeon, hell-hole, whatever you want to call it to make you feel better about being in it, has devastating effects on all who dwell here, whether you're resistant or not. But the more you resist the more you survive. I won't say that being here and going through this madness hasn't had any destructive or negative effects on me or hasn't done any damage, I could never say that. This suffering, this madness has done plenty of damage to me, in so many ways and I may never recover from some of it, but the point is that nobody is immune to the effects of constant isolation, or constant prison madness. You cannot live like this and not be affected, no matter how strong you are or how much you resist, it has a devastating effect on everybody, more devastating for some than others, that's why it's important to stay active, stay healthy, and to keep resisting, keep striving, keep elevating yourself.

I'm conditioned to live in this place like this, I don't have a life sentence, but I'm conditioned to live the rest of my life like this, living like a dog, and that's sad. I have to get out of prison one day, some day and I'm going to have to get out and recondition myself and my mind, my life and readjust my way of thinking and living and that's going to make surviving out there harder for me that it is to survive in here. In the back of my mind I know I have a life to go to out there, I have family and friends who love me and care about me, but as I sit here in the midst of this constant madness, all I can see is that I have made a life for myself, right here in this graveyard. I don't yet recognize a life on the other side of these walls, fences, gates, so I don't think about it much, I don't think about getting released. So it's a heartbreaking, painful situation for us in here. We can't see a future for ourselves that exists beyond these walls, beyond this life; we don't think about these things, we are stuck in a rut, stuck in a maze. We need people to get involved in our lives in real ways, get involved in our struggles in meaningful ways, to help us envision a life outside of prison; we need to have a c1ear picture of freedom inside our minds. We need people to help us grow, help us elevate, help us organize, help us survive, live and heal. We have a lot to overcome, a lot to heal from. We need people to help us see and recognize a life for ourselves on the other side of the darkness, and the people who don't ever have a chance of getting out of here are in need of the most love.

A prisoner doesn't need books to become a radical. If the lst amendment rights were completely stripped from prisoners and if they were to disallow any type of books, or reading materials into these prisons a prisoner can still be wild and radical as his or her heart is. They could take my books, zines and reading materials away from me, and if I just sit back and observe what goes on around here, thinking deeply about the things I see and think deeply of the underlying causes behind all of this, I can write about this madness all day long. So, you see ,we don't need books to become radicals, we need books to become intellectuals. Books are powerful tools. Prisoners need people to send them books so that they can further their intellectual growth. We need people to send us zines and serious reading materials so that we can take it upon ourselves to resist the aura of intellectual death that permeates through these walls and steel doors. We need people to help us organize study groups and intellectual, spiritual and political movements on the inside of these coffin-like cells and to help us spread truth and intellectual growth amongst our comrades who dwell in these cemeteries with us. We need knowledge so that we can liberate our minds from this constant oppression, so we can gain consciousness and so we can take the initiative to rise ourselves, up and above this constant death, destruction and devastation.

I came to prison when I was 19 and I quickly learned and assumed the mentality and ways of being a convict, things aren't what they were when I came to prison, they've gotten worse for us in here, but 1 haven't changed much, I haven't deteriorated. Once you've been sent to prison you have to keep in mind that there's only 3 things that can be taken from you, or only 3 things that you can LOSE: Your mind, your manhood or your life. I've stood up many times, against my oppressors, and they came in and took my television, took my property and charged me restitution. But you see, they can take my T.V. (I don't watch it anyways), but if I haven't lost my mind, then they haven't taken nada. They can take my privileges or my good time (life goes on) but as long as nobody has taken my manhood from me, they ain't took nothing. They can take my money, my property or any other material possession they want, but as long as they haven't taken my life, then they haven't taken anything.

It's been 10 years that I've lived inside the depths of the prison regime and I haven't lost my mind, my manhood or my life, so I guess you can say I'm surviving. I was always taught that a convict is someone who sticks up for himself, stands up tor his rights and who looks out for other convicts and that it's better to lose your so-called privileges than to lose your manhood, it's better to take a stand than to be walked all over by people who think they're mightier than you because they have the law on their side.

And so, in that sense, being a convict is like being a revolutionary, but on a smaller scale. Intact, all these struggles, riots, conflicts and acts of resistance against our oppressors is actually training and preparing us to take it to another level. We've turned these prisons into training grounds tor revolutionaries. We've come from being convicts and developed ourselves into imprisoned radical intellectuals, so you see; this has just been another way tor us to make a bad situation into a better one, because that's what we do.

Rather than allowing ourselves to be destroyed by prison, we sit here contemplating, trying to find ways to destroy the prison. In Abbie Hoffman's book, Steal this Book, when he gives instructions on how to build a pipe bomb, he writes, “The basic idea to remember is that a bomb is simply a hot tire burning very rapidly in a tightly contined space.” I think that's what we are, we're not just prisoners, as we sit and dwell and develop in the confines of these cells, our hearts burn like a raging fire, and our brains are like bombs, a hot fire burning very rapidly in a tightly confined space.

Consciousness permeates through these walls and fills the atmosphere of these graveyards, they can't imprison consciousness, they can't stop it, as long as we have our minds intact and continue to use them as weapons, and they can't stop it. We sit here locked up, confined, and slammed down, thinking of freedom; the thing that's so great, but costs so much, and the more we think about it, the closer we are to it.. ..

So here is some of my best, break the chains, smash the system writing, I hope you´re ready for this!

Until prisons have been abolished,
Coyote
ABC - Nevada
Prison Chapter
December 15th, 2007

NOTE:
Feel free to make copies of this zine and send it to prisoners, prison activist groups, free books to prisoner bookstores, newsletters and to advocacy networks, etc. Anyone who would like to write me, or make any comments, or who would like to get involved in my activism, struggles or movement could write to me at the address below. I am a prohibited from receiving letters directly from other prisoners, but would like to hear from everyone, everywhere.

This zine is dedicated to my fallen comrade: Silencio, (May you rest in resistance carnal) killed by the hands of the pigs in the Washoe County Sherriff's Office, (the county jail in Reno, Nevada). We miss you Bro.

For letters of encouragement or support, write to:

Coyote Sheff #55671
P.O. Box 1989
Ely, Nevada 89301 - 1989

Or write to my comrade

Anthony Rayson
South Chicago ABC Zine Distro
P.O. Box 721
Homewood, lllinois 60430

Buried Alive

2009-12-31T13:52:00.000-08:00

This pamphlet-Zine was published around 2007. Republished here.

They've got us confined to these cells, where we are intellectually suffocating, in desperate need of literature, books, love, compassion and support. Being in this graveyard is like walking down an endless, dark tunnel, with no end, no light, no hope in sight, trapped in a box with no visible exit. We have to be soldiers in these circumstances where the means of survival go beyond guerrilla warfare: this is a battlefield for the mind.

Looking at my situation, I see myself confined, locked down in the darkest layers of a dungeon cell, surrounded by animals: human animals. Animals who were once human, but who have been stripped of their sanity, and who have no control over their own mental capacity. These beasts have lost their souls and there's nothing nobody can do about it, and they try to inflict their insanity upon me so that I can be miserable like them. Call it paranoia, but I feel like the administration has intentionally put these sick motherfuckers next to me, above me and around me, just so they can show me what type of 'weirdo' they want me to be; what type of sick monster they want me to become.

But on the contrary, the more I'm subjected to these miserable "mind-torturers", the more love I have for myself, and the more I love myself the more I hate these pigs, 'cuz I see what they're trying to do to me. I strive to be stronger, mentally, physically, spiritually and emotionally. The harder I strive, whether it be for strength, for unity, for solidarity, or even self-education, it seems, or feels like the more these pigs are trying to knock me to my knees. They try to knock me down and tear me apart, they try to tear my soul apart, my mind, they try to tear me apart from friends, family, comrades and fellow convicts. This is how I feel as these walls seem to close in on me, I feel like these pigs are trying to destroy me, I feel like they're trying to bury me alive in this graveyard.

We sit here and rot in these chambers of torture, designed to murder our wills, break our hearts, devour our spirits and bury us in our own agony, in attempts of transforming us into animals like the weirdoes who are caged in the cells next to us, above us, and all around us.
So many youngsters get locked up in this foul ass system, and it seems like consciousness has died in the hearts and minds and spirits of many of the incarcerated youth. There's no inspiration, no direction, no worthy cause to believe in, no reason for them to come together and settle their disputes, no reason to put their guards down and unite. I don't see it, I don't feel it, except in my own heart. People around here are lost, confused, mislead, and it's a tragedy.

I want to encourage the prisoners at Ely State Prison who read this to start studying the law and find ways to buck the system, beat and cheat the system that's beating and cheating you. Study anything you can study, whatever interests you. I want to encourage prisoners to start taking true strides to pick themselves up, to move forward, to better themselves, and to buck the system that contains you and holds you captive to this ongoing madness. I want to encourage prisoners to start turning their televisions off at least twice a week and spend the day reading, studying and writing. Do something to benefit and strengthen your mind. Do something to benefit and strengthen your position in life. Just 'cuz they've got our bodies held captive, doesn't mean we should let them hold our minds captive. Once we start taking serious strides to improve ourselves and improve our conditions, once we start doing something real with our time, then we can start doing something real with our lives.

Because they're trying to bury us alive in these graveyards, leaving us to sit alone in these suffocating cells until our mind goes crazy, deteriorates, or until we are so messed up that all we can think about is murder, violence and revenge, because that's what this long-term isolation does to us, if we let it.

I'm still alive, in good spirits and my mind is intact, so I must be doing something right. They try to knock me down, but I'm still standing. I have one mind, one heart and they can't strip me of my soul, I'm too strong for that. The more they try to break my will, the stronger I have to be. It's all about resistance, it's all about keeping the mind, body and spirit in good shape. I'm sitting here doing things, elevating and educating myself, engaging others, talking and listening and there are people in here like me, just trying to maintain their existence. We're living it the only way we know how. I live in struggle and I struggle to live, and this all I know! They want to bury me alive, but I'm plotting on ways to take that shovel out of their hands and beat them over the head with it! That's what's happening.

From the depths of this darkness,
Coyote
Ely State Prison, Nevada

For letters of encouragement, please send letters to Coyote:

Coyote Sheff #55671
P.O. Box 1989 Ely,
Nevada 89301-1989