Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Ely State Prison: A Place of Depravity, Death and Despair

Ely State Prison is a place of death, stagnation, misery, pain, loneliness and indeterminate lockdown. If you were to take a walk on one of these depressing tiers back here in “the hole”, you would hear many disembodied voices ring out, yelling in anger and frustration, trying to tell you how bad it is for us in here, in between the isolated confines of steel and stone.

This is a maximum security prison, but not everybody here is a security risk, but if you were to ask these pigs that, they’d probably tell you otherwise, just to try to justify the fact they’re keeping us warehoused in here, whether we deserve it or not. With time things change, and usually for the worse. Deterioration is a normal occurrence in here. In fact, if you were to ask the prisoners around here if they think the conditions here will get better or worse, most of them will tell you things are only going to get worse. Pessimism and hopelessness permeate the minds and attitudes of the average prisoner in here. There’s nothing much to look forward to, besides the next meal, and maybe a letter in the mail, if you’re lucky.

Back in the day, ironically when E.S.P. was actually opened up (when we were allowed group yard, tier time, porters, etc.), the majority of the prisoners here were actually befitting of the status: maximum security. Back then, a man was sent to Ely State Prison for failure to adjust in another, less secure prison, violence, escapes and things of that nature. But even then, that could also mean he was disruptive, someone who organized other prisoners, led religious services, or filed too many legal writs or grievances.

Not every man at ESP is told why he’s here these days, and not every man here has committed a violent crime. Not every man here has done anything serious to even warrant maximum security status (like for example, I have a neighbour here in the hole with me right now who was transferred up here simply for contraband). A prisoner has no chance to appeal a transfer before being sent to ESP, and sometimes arrives in the middle of the night without warning. Brought into a world of darkness, locked into a cell, left to get stale and stagnant as he deteriorates, like a mouldy piece of bread.

Nobody belongs in a world where they’re buried alive, where they’re in a tomb for the dead, basically. And the police has total control, and many of them frequently abuse that control, either on a psychological level, or on a physical level. And over the days, weeks, months and years, a prisoner who is confined to this every day misery, begins to degenerate. I’ve seen it happen, over and over again. Nobody belongs in a world like this, where death permeates the atmosphere. Where pressure is applied so constantly that all it does is make these men hard and mean as time goes by.

Some of these guys in here feel they only have 2 or 3 choices now: escape, snitch or suicide. Nobody has escaped from here yet, but many turned into snitches, and many have committed suicide. And others have succumbed to psychotropic medications, which is a form of both escape and suicide. For so many of us in here, there’s nothing to strive for, no aim, no goals, no hope, no light at the end of their tunnel, and they just give up; give in. There’s no love here, just the artificial love that you’ll find in the gang culture of prison life. This is a terrible place to be, especially for someone who has to return back to society.

All you have to do is read a little psychology to figure out what’s going on, to understand what’s being done to us in here. They try to break us down, sever our family and social ties, dominate us, talk shit to us, treat us like children, going out to their way to try to keep us stagnant and ignorant, and always out to break our spirits. Needless to say, I pass around books, articles and notes on psychology, so that prisoners can get a deeper understanding about things. Not just about being in prison, but also about how our minds work, personality, emotions, why we act the way we act, and why we are the way we are. It’s very important to actually be able to come to an understanding of these things; to raise our level of conscious and to be able to elevate our thinking under these circumstances is very important in more ways than one, and it’s also necessary for our survival in here, where psychological warfare is being waged on us every day.

The depravity and despair in this graveyard continuously pushes men to death or insanity. I wrote an article on November 18th, 2009, about the mysterious death of death row inmate Timothy Redman. November 18th, 2009, was the day he died, and I was there when it happened. This is a prime example of the daily depravity that takes place in this hellhole. Approximately an hour after Redman allegedly tried to grab a correctional officer by the wrist and pull his arm through the food slot (apparently the pig had to struggle to free himself), an extraction team of officers was made up to physically and forcefully remove Redman from his cell, or at least to try. Redman refused to surrender and to be placed in handcuffs, and he did so by displaying a weapon. What’s cold about this whole thing is that the policy (administrative regulation) even states that any time a prisoner has a weapon in his cell, his water and toilet is to be shut off, an officer is to be stationed outside of his cell, and nothing is to come in or go out of his cell – not even meals, and this officer is supposed to stay stationed outside of his cell until the prisoner either gives the weapon up, or for 72 hours, and then they have to decide what to do from there, whether excessive force is to be used or not. Did this happen? No. These pigs refused to follow their own rules and a man died as a result.

I can tell you exactly what took place. After Redman refused to surrender, the pigs then proceeded to spray one can of pepper spray into his cell. After that the senior officer in the control bubble commenced to open Redman’s cell so the pigs could run in there on him and retaliate, and then remove him from his cell. But the cell door was jammed from the inside, and they couldn’t get it open. Obviously Redman was no dummy, he knew how to keep the pigs out, and he knew why it was so important to do so. That’s a situation that you usually don’t win. They come in and beat your ass, and after they’ve got you fully restrained, they beat you some more as they yell out “Stop resisting! Stop resisting!” So, over the course of two hours, the pigs emptied a total of 6 canisters of gas into Redman’s cell, and then sprayed a seventh canister one time. They would spray him, and then go hide out in the upper storage room, so that the gas wouldn’t affect them (Redman was housed in 3-B-48, right next to the upper storage room). When they were finally able to open Redman’s cell to get him out, he was dead. His face was purple, his body was blue and blood was coming out of his nose. His boxers were stained with feces and urine and he had what appeared to be a smile on his face. The nurses and doctors tried to revive him, but to no avail.

What’s mysterious about this whole situation was that when they pulled Redman out of his cell, there was no rope tied around his neck or anything. But they say he hung himself. They said it was a suicide. But did he really hang himself, or was he murdered by six cans of pepper spray? Was it a cover-up? People need to be concerned about this, and they should demand to see the video footage of the extraction, just to make sure, because the whole thing seemed mysterious to the majority of the inmates who saw the incident take place.

All seem to agree that Redman died from the pepper spray. They think he was murdered. Who knows what happened. All humans are capable of murder, and death row inmates have been murdered before under McDaniel’s administration. I know this much: a couple of hours after they carried Redman’s body out of the unit, 2 of the wardens, the coroner, and the investigator were all standing outside of Redman’s cell laughing, smiling and joking around, thinking it was funny, until a prisoner piped up and said, “What are you laughing at? If that was one of your own who died, you wouldn’t find it very funny, now would you?” They got quiet. But it seemed like they were happy to see Redman die. At dinner time, a guard who was on the extraction team came into the unit and yelled out loud, so everybody could hear, “Cell 48 said he doesn’t want his tray.” It just goes to show how much regard these pigs have for our lives. They have no love, no mercy for us. The whole scene was a blatant violation of the administrative regulations and a blatant disregard for Redman’s life. And the really cold, cold, part about it was, when the coroner asked the warden, on two separate occasions, “How should I decide this?”, “How do you think I should decide this, suicide or murder?” The warden looked around, seen that prisoners were standing alert at their doors and said, “I can’t decide that, that’s your job.” But what would even propel the coroner to ask such an odd question like that in the first place? It makes you wonder…

I knew Redman personally. He wasn’t really a friend of mine, but someone I talked to occasionally. I don’t know what set him off to go after the pig, but I do know this: Redman was a death row inmate who has had to endure 23-hour lockdown while on H.R.P. (High Risk Potential status: supermax custody level) for 16-17 years straight. I’ve heard him talking once about how year after year administration is stripping one privilege away from us each year. Tobacco, milk, scrambled eggs, hot lunches, food packages, clothing packages, etcetera, etcetera. They just take, take, take and keep you locked down in a cell with a death sentence hanging over your head. Oh yeah, and I know that they were messing with Redman’s mail too. He seemed to think that his wife left him due to this; because certain letters never got to her. So, I think it’s safe to say, with all these things taken into consideration, you have a man who has nothing to lose, and no hope in sight, who has basically been driven to a point where life doesn’t even matter anymore.

There’s a lot of people like that in here. They weren’t always like that though. They’ve deteriorated, and have been broken, and just stopped trying, stopped caring, with no one or nothing to help pull them through. It’s a sad, sad story, about depravity and despair. Some of us fight and struggle (psychological and spiritually), trying to make it through this, trying to better ourselves and better our positions in life, and some just give up all hope. It’s easy to give up in a filthy, foul-ass place like this, where nobody cares about what you’re going through, or about where happens to you, one way or another.

The guards that work here don’t care about us, they’re not trained to care about us, they are only trained to control us. Ely State Prison is an unproductive, unhealthy environment, even for these pigs. It has been documented that prison guards have the highest rates of heart disease, drug and alcohol addiction, divorce – and the shortest lifespans – of any state civil servants, due to the stress in their lives. Prison guard are in constant fear of injury by prisoners, and the fear of contracting diseases always lingers in their minds, since prisons are normally flooded with all kinds of diseases, from hepatitis C, tuberculosis, to AIDS.

From the first day in the academy these guards are trained to believe that they are taught to believe that they are the “good guys” and that prisoners are the “bad guys”, They are pretty much programmed into fearing and despising us – before they even come into contact with any of us! They are led to believe that all prisoners are manipulative, deceitful and dangerous, and that all prisoners are the scum of the Earth. So no, they don’t care about us, they are not even allowed to care about us. We are not even human to them. Needless to say, none of this leads to rehabilitation, but on the contrary, it only contributes to the everyday depravity here in this hellhole.

I’m writing about all of this for a reason though. I’m here to expose the abuse, the injustices, the disparity and hopelessness. I’m here to raise awareness about all of these things, and I’m here to help seek solutions. One of the things I’d like to help Nevada prisoners understand is that the situation for us out here is deplorable. There is a real problem with this whole system, and if we don’t recognize these problems, we will never find solutions, not to mention the possibility that we ourselves could even be contributing to many of these problems. Please believe, the way they’ve got us doing our time is not the way we’re supposed to be doing our time. This whole prison is “the hole”, there’s no general population here at E.S.P., there’s no incentive, no programs, no rehabilitation, nothing. We have way more coming to us than this! We are not supposed to just lay down and accept this, we have to start finding ways to come together, we have to start striving to make the necessary changes that will help better our positions in life, so that we don’t have to keep coming back to these dead ends.

Furthermore, like Ikemba always says, there’s no real level of activism in Nevada. Prisoners do not have any available resources, bookstores for Nevada prisoners, no prisoners’ rights advocacy groups, no solid help from the outside, whatsoever. In order to make changes on the inside, we need support from the outside. We must take it upon ourselves to build a proper support structure for Nevada prisoners, and we have to do this from the ground up!
So, if you’re a prisoner doing time in Nevada and if you have family/friends out here in Nevada – or anywhere else on the outs – I would like to encourage you to explain to them how bad the situation is for you/us in here. Let them know that we cannot expect any type of real rehabilitation from this system; explain to them that the administration is not going to do anything to help us further our growth and development, or push us close to becoming reformed, socially functioning individuals. We have to take it upon ourselves to do these things and we can’t do it without a proper support structure from people on the outside.

Talk to your families, talk to your friends, talk to your loved ones out there (show them this newsletter if you have to), see what they would be willing to do to start up programs for Nevada prisoners. Something needs to be done, but nothing will improve unless prisoners start taking the initiative. The guys who have to do life sentences, or who have to be here for the duration, I encourage you to start learning the law, use it as a tool to make changes for everybody; start stepping up to the plate, instead of waiting for others to do it for you. As long as we keep trying, sooner or later something has to give. It’s better to try than to do nothing, especially when we’re living like this! We can do anything we put our minds to, it all starts with a thought, and what we think about we become, so let’s get it cracking. 

Until then, we are just going to sit here, warehoused in this misery, as the years go by, more people losing their minds, more deaths and suicides, more repression, more rules being placed on us, making it harder on us, more restrictions, more losses of privileges and whatever else they want to take from us. We will sit here with sad looks on our faces, as anger and hatred eat us up inside. The despair will lead to depravity, and the depravity will do us in. Death is the only outcome tomorrow, for those that don’t start taking action today.

Solidarity and Respects

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Mistakes are Necessary, Sometimes

Mistakes Are Necessary, Sometimes

First and foremost allow me to extend my most sincere greetings of solidarity and respects, to all of the solid comrades here are E.S.P. who read these few humble words. I’ve been sitting back thinking about all the things I’ve seen in the last few months, and I just wanted to write a little article on it, just to open up a dialogue on the subjects of being organized, and on learning from our mistakes, and using this time to grow and elevate ourselves on different levels. This is just my perception on things, but I welcome all of the feedback that I could get.

I always hear people talking about keeping it real, yet when I question people on their definition of real, it seems like everybody has a different definition from the next man. So I’ve come to realize, if my definition of real is different from your definition of real, then until we reach some type of understanding between us, some type of mutual respect, then we are probably gonna continuously bump heads and clash when it comes to certain things.

If people aren’t on the same page, yet they’re all advocating the same ideas, then people aren’t really ever going to be able to come together on a serious note. Until people, or at least a group of people, can get things together amongst themselves, with agreement and understanding amongst all people involved, then there can’t be any organization. In order for there to be organization, people not only have to be on the same page, but they have to be on the same chapter, in the same book, on the same paragraph. And that can only be done through lengthy discussions and dialogues, going back and forth sharing ideas and discussing these ideas until everybody is in agreement.

Until then, everything is a learning process, we grow as we go. We learn from each other and we learn from our mistakes, and from the mistakes of others. This is why I say certain mistakes are necessary sometimes. It’s so easy to fuck up, to make mistakes, we all do it. And we will all do it again and again, because we all have our flaws, and because nobody is perfect.

But that’s exactly why we are in here using this time as an opportunity to strengthen our minds, bodies and spirits. That’s why we are taking true strides to work on our flaws and our weaknesses. That’s why we are trying to learn discipline, patience, humility, and grace, and that’s why we are just trying to grow and progress and get better and stronger in all aspects.

It’s the ones who are not trying to understand themselves, the ones who are not trying to fix their flaws, learn from their mistakes, and get better and grow, that we have to be leery of, those are the ones who need to be shunned. You have to stay away from people like that.

There is a time and place for everything. Well, just about everything. We are all in agreement that there are some things you just don’t do, no matter what. Things like raping women and children, snitching, cowardice, and things of that nature. Those are things that we’ve all agreed on, that are absolute no-no’s. But what I’m trying to get at is this, sometimes, as we grow and learn on this long and winding journey, sometimes we have to be wrong before we can be right. As long as we ourselves recognize the errors in our own ways, and try do to do all we can to right our wrongs, then it’s okay, we can come back from that. But there are some mistakes that we can’t come back from and that cannot and will not be overlooked. And the things that we would not do, we don’t condone them either. So we always have to keep that in our hearts and in our minds, or else things will always be foul and fake around here.

As long as our hearts are true and our intentions are good and as long as our characters and conduct are solid, then our paths will be laid out for us. Not to say that there won’t be obstacles and struggles along the way, because of course there will always be those, but it’s how we handle those struggles that determines how much inner-strength we have, and it’s these things that make us stronger.

I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, and I have flaws too, but I’m working on those things every day. We all slip up sometimes, and it takes time to rectify those things, but the important thing is that they can be rectified. It’s good to have comrades around who actually care about you, who care about what you’re going through in life, your ups and downs, your successes and failures, and who are there to help you with your progression. Comrades who will help pick you up when you fall, but who will make sure that you ain’t slipping, who will make sure that you’re on your toes and on top of your game and keep it real at all times. Some things we have to learn on our own, but sometimes it helps to have loved ones around to help you out too.

I just write this article to encourage people to consider these things, and the fact that we are all in here going through similar struggles together. I hope to see people getting on the same page and getting organized on some real shit. Things that will help you and yours excel in all aspects and areas of life. I want to encourage people to take a deeper look at self and at the world around you, and find your purpose and your place in life. Try to gain a deeper understanding of things, and a revolutionary heart and mind. Revolutionary, meaning someone who strives to bring change, because when all you see and all you know is this foul ass bullshit that keeps getting you in these fucked up situations, then change begins to look like a beautiful thing.

I want to encourage people to start having discussions and to keep an open exchange of dialogue going, so that a solid level of understanding can be reached and so everybody can get on the same page, so that we can start striving towards greater heights together, and so that we can make a difference and make this a solid and productive atmosphere for growth and progression. Keep an open mind, listen as much as you talk, try to teach, but also try to learn.

Solidarity and Respects


July 18th, 2010


Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Stay Strong, Stay Committed

Stay Strong, Stay Committed

There is no time better than right now to take a deeper look at self, life and struggle. Many of us in the struggle have long resisted before we even knew there was a struggle. There’s something inside of us; like a fire! But where does it come from? How did we get like this; I mean what made us so honorable to carry this fire inside of us? For most of us, this rebellious spirit, of course, stems from some form of abuse or injustice in our pasts, or from our early childhood, or something; we are who we are for a reason. Well, for lots of reasons actually. Once you know yourself, you can only become strengthened and empowered through this understanding. I speak of it here, because it’s important to understand what it is that has cultivated us into the rebels and warriors we are, especially now that we know and see who and what it is – this terrible beast – that we are up against.

Sometimes we have to go through our own personal strife before we can again be awakened to the ultimate struggle. I think this is the critical importance of understanding ourselves and our inherent connection to humanity, liberty and struggle. We have to go through things in life, stumble, fall, and then pick ourselves back up and ask ourselves what just happened and why, before we can really start to understand things, and somewhere in all of this turmoil we begin to see that there’s a connection between one’s own personal life and experiences and the lives and experiences of humanity as a whole. And that’s when we realize that we’re not alone in this struggle. We are a part of something. Something that’s bigger and greater than we ever understood.

And now that our eyes are opened, we must stay strong, stay focused and we must stay committed. It’s not just about “me” anymore, now it’s about “us”. Solidarity is what we have, freedom is what we strive for.

Solidarity and Respects,


In the Company of Four Walls


In between four white walls

I contemplate

And in between these four white walls

I marinate

I use this time of loneliness

To think of all the thoughts that could be thought of

With these four walls I share my homeliness

For these walls I have much love

These walls know my feelings, they know who I

Love and who I hate

They watch over me when I sleep

And they’re there to help me concentrate

They’re there when I stress, they’re there

When I rest

They’re there when I fear, and when I’m

Hurting inside they’re always near

These four walls listen when I’m mad

These four walls just may be

The best company I’ve ever had

I Don’t Think You Know

You want to know
How I know
What I know?
Well, I don’t know
What you think you know
And I don’t know
What you think I know
But I don’t think you know

All I know
Is I know what I know
And you think you know
But I don’t think you know
And if you really know
Then why don’t you act like you know
Not pretend you know
But actually show that you know

November 20th, 2009

Saturday, October 23, 2010

ESP Book Drive

You can help change someone’s life! There is nothing more invigorating, nothing more liberating than knowledge! Books can definitely change people’s lives, and who needs help with changing their lives more than the people in prison? It has already been proven that education is the most powerful tool against recidivism, yet prisoners sit in their cells going mentally numb, getting more aggressive and deteriorating intellectually, spiritually and physically, just wasting away behind steel and stone, until the day they are released and returned back into our communities!

This is a chance to make a difference; to have an impact on someone’s life. This is a chance for people out there to really get involved in something significant. We need you to help us bring meaning and productivity to these prisoners lives! Please, help us do something positive; something that will definitely make a difference. Help us give these prisoners something important to think about, help us raise their level of consciousness and break them from the shackles of the gangster, pimp and criminal mentalities that confine them to self-destruction and perpetual misery.

Help us get books together for these men who sit in their cells staring at the walls all day. People throw books away every day. We need those books. We want you to help us donate those books to the Ely State Prison library; we want you to help us help these people who will be returning back to society. We want you to help us help these people who deserve a second chance. Help them realize they deserve a second chance! We can do that by bringing hope, meaning, and knowledge into their lives through books. we need you to help us with this possible life-changing project!

Any book you can donate will be appreciated, and put to good use, no matter what kind of book it is. Our mission here, however, is to turn the E.S.P. library into a real library. The E.S.P. library already has lots and lots of horror novels, sci-fi novels, fantasy and romance, but lacks anything of real educational value. So, we want you to help us provide any type of book that will allow prisoners to think and comprehend things on a higher, or deeper level.

We want educational books; anything that has some type of educational value, or that will provide real intellectual stimulation. All books will be accepted and appreciated, and books that we are particularly looking for are basically any type of books on:

• History
• Any type of self-help book
• Dictionaries, thesaurus, encyclopedias, almanacs, vocabulary builders, etc.
• Philosophy
• Psychology and/or sociology
• Anthropology
• Text books of all kinds
• Non-fictional books, true stories, current events, etc.
• Books on business, economics, law, etc.
• Poetry, classics, literature, etc.
• Autobiographies, memoirs and biographies
• Books on science (any branch of science, from astronomy to palaeontology, whatever)
• Good fiction novels that could possibly have a life-changing impact on a prisoner’s mind
• Books about prison, or written by prisoners, who have changed their lives while in prison (these stories are always inspirational and helpful for those incarcerated)
• Any books on politics, revolutionary science, prominent figures and leaders
• Cultural studies: Latino, African American, Native American, Asian, The Celts, The Romans, The Greeks, The Egyptians, Aztecs, Mayans, etc.
• Political books (on anarchism, communism, socialism, etc.)
• Theology, Theosophy, etc.
• Books on different languages
• Geography
• Best sellers, Pulitzer prize winners, etc.
• Esoteric studies, masonic literature, symbolism, etc.
• Health, medical encyclopedia, physical fitness, etc.

Any book that you have, that you don’t want, or need any more, any book that you think would be uplifting, educational, or inspirational to prisoners, please send them to:

White Pine County School District
Mountain High School
1135 Avenue C
Ely, Nevada 89301
Attention: Ms. Thiel / E.S.P. Library Donations

Please make sure to go through all of your books, removing money, papers or anything that you may have left inside of your books, because the officers will thoroughly inspect each book before they are inducted into the E.S.P. Library.

Please talk to your friends, family, co-workers and classmates, ask them if they have any old books that they don’t want or need any more. We really want you to help us turn the E.S.P. library into a real library. Help us bring meaning and positive change to these prisoner’s lives.

There is no rehabilitation, no programs, no real educational/vocational opportunities for these guys incarcerated at Ely State Prison. We want you to help us give them that opportunity, we want you to help us help them. We want you to help us liberated these prisoners’ minds and transform their lives through knowledge, education and higher learning. Please get involved in this life-changing project. There’s nothing more empowering than knowledge! Thank you for your time and concern.

Solidarity and Respects
Coyote - ABC Nevada Prison Chapter

ps if you plan to send in any books, please if possible let Coyote know which books you donated.

Monday, October 18, 2010

Que Dia Tan Bello

To my dear friends who read these “few” humble words, I wish to extend my most sincere greetings of solidarity and respects, hoping you are in the best of health and in the brightest of spirits, with the joy for life going strong inside your beautiful, unbreakable hearts!

My dear friends, the beautiful and compassionate people out there in the “free” world, I wish I could give you the opportunity to meet and talk to some of these guys I’m locked down with. I wish you had the opportunity to contemplate the wise and poetic words of the warriors and radicals that I’ve been fortunate enough to cross paths with in these dregs of society.

Men who know pain, men who know strife, prisoners who have been beat down by life and who unfortunately had to survive by drastic means and desperate measures, but who still strive with determined passion to rise above the constant madness and degeneration, with the drive to come out of this situation as wiser and stronger men, with a true and healthy understanding of life. These prisoners are my comrades, they refuse to just sit and dwell in their cells, but instead, they make it a point to stay occupied and to stay focused and just like me they’re going through the same dilemmas and insane situations, just trying to stay strong and true through it all. We try to make the best out of a bad situation.

Straight up comrades. We may have different skin color, different cultures, different backgrounds, and therefore different ways of seeing and feeling about specific things, but we’ve all been put up in this same situation together, and we are all up in here doing time together, exchanging bits and pieces of conversation, head nods of acknowledgment as one walks past another’s cell on the way to the shower, we pass things to each other, share literature, share magazine, share pictures of beautiful women, we share books, we share music, and even though the administration here at Ely State Prison has made rules against sharing, we still do it, because we know that sharing is caring! We trade with one another, buy and sell from one another, and without really trying, we’ve basically turned each tier into a little community, just by being here, locked down like this and just trying to find ways to socialize and survive and to make it through this madness without losing our minds.

As we separate the real from the fake, the good from the foul, we’ve come to know of each other through a similar set of standards which convicts live by. After so much time and so much bullshit, while living around so much foulness under these locked down situations, some of us still try to keep the dying idea of solidarity alive.

A community that hates is one that perishes. A community that co-exists is one that thrives. If we can learn how to co-exist in these inhumane conditions of confinement, then we can definitely learn how to co-exist in a general population setting. It’s already known that the people who keep us here don’t want us to get along, they don’t want to see us sharing, borrowing, lending, and they especially don’t want to see us thriving and striving together, because they know that type of solidarity threatens and undermines the power they hold over us. Most of these oppressors would rather see us locked down and suffering, with nothing in our cells and no one to talk to. Which is why they try so hard to break us all the way down when they see how much we are trying to stay strong and to survive, and when they see how much we are willing to resist, they’re struck with fear and fascination! We are here, alive and stronger than ever, and we’re not going out like that. That’s why we strive so hard to learn new things, to exercise and to elevate! We strive to grow and develop and sharpen our intellects and strengthen our bodies and to search our souls. We dwell in a graveyard, but we are alive. Not only is this a political struggle, but it’s an intellectual struggle, a physical struggle and a spiritual struggle as well. Never are we to lay down and accept this shit, which is why we’ve made it our objectives to come out of this wiser, stronger and more refined.

You can see the pain in our poetry when you read our words and our writings. You can see how much time, effort and skill we’ve put into our creations when you look at our drawings and our art. You can see how we have taken tremendous strides to break through the chains that they try to use to keep our minds shackled to ignorance and stagnation. You can see the beauty in our struggle as it shines through. We refuse to lay down, we refuse to give up, we refuse to be buried alive in these steel and stone cemeteries.

With a dictionary, we are armed. With a book of our own history, we are armed. With philosophy books, we are armed. And with the fundamentals of true, radical thoughts of resistance, we are armed and dangerous. Ready for life, ready for death, ready for freedom, and for revolution. We see what’s happening, and we know what’s happening, and we’re ready to make things happen. We strive for change, we strive for a sense of direction, for purpose and for self and collective elevation. And everybody knows that I could sit here all day and write about all the misery, pain and suffer, but today, as I write this, I wish you could see – my dear and beautiful friends – how brightly the light shines in a world of darkness.

We could not be strong in here, without the support of the people on the outs. We could not be organized, educated or liberated without solid support from the people. We appreciate the help, we appreciate the love. We appreciate the books, the money, the letters. We appreciate all that you do to help us sustain and maintain. We’d have no lifeline if it wasn’t for all the beautiful people out there, showing us love, solidarity and support. Without people like you in this world, we’d be lost, we’d be through. Thank you.

Before I close this, I just want to leave you with one more thought. Life in prison is a tragedy, we all know that. But in all honesty, sometimes I wake up feeling good about myself, feeling good about life, feeling good about the camaraderie and the spirit of resistance in the hearts of the men around me, and I have to get up and come to the door and yell out to somebody, “It’s a beautiful day!”.

With love for the people,
Nevada Prison Chapter (A.B.C.)
Ely State Prison, 2009

“Crime belongs to the concept “revolt against the social order”. One does not “punish” a rebel. One suppresses him. A rebel can be a miserable and contemptible man; but there is nothing contemptible in a revolt as such – and to be a rebel in view of contemporary society does in itself lower the value of a man. There are even cases in which one might have to honor a rebel, because he finds something in our society against which war ought to be waged – he awakens us from slumber”
. – Friedrich Nietzsche


Abandoned as a youth, caged against my will, they tried to turn a tiger cub into a circus animal, but to no avail.

I’ve remained wild all through my days, criminal-minded, because no laws I’ve obeyed. Took the time in prison, refusing to be a slave. Society has no mercy for a strong muthafucka like me, but it doesn’t even matter, because my spirit remains untameable, and that’s the way it will always be.

Inflammable thoughts unite the imprisoned minds, liquefied like mercury, hot steel burns through our veins, as we struggle through the strife of life. Learning to endure the pain. I have no answers to a pig’s question asked; there’s nothing to say. Another day past is another lesson gained, anarchist to the core, hardcore to the brain.

December 2009
High Risk Potential

“Human laws are invalid, because they are contrary to the laws of nature.”
- Blackstone

The Pedagogy of the Existential Coyote

I have incorporated “socializing” into my daily routine, just like studying and writing and exercising, now I’ve made it basically mandatory that I get my dialogue, communication and study sessions in every day too. It’s good for me, and it’s good for all those whom I socialize with, and it has also become a good way for me to combat isolation and loneliness.

I’m particularly satisfied with the latest study sessions that I’ve been having with the comrades on my tier, because I’ve been able to exert some of my newly-acquired knowledge on “existentialism” and I was able to relay this knowledge to others in my study group in a way that they could not only grasp what I was saying, but also embrace it. And I guess that just made me feel good, you know? To not only see my own personal growth and development become actualized, but also to be able to pass these gems of knowledge onto others, to the effect that these gems that I pass on will always be with those that I’ve passed them on to. It’s just a beautiful thing and it makes me feel good about myself, about my study group and about what I’m learning, teaching and doing.

I mean what’s the point of studying and learning and acquiring new knowledge if you can’t, or don’t ever apply it? I’ve come to learn that the word “pedagogy” means the art or profession of teaching, but what I haven’t figured out yet is which I like more, learning or teaching, but I do know that they go hand in hand. I will always be a student, no matter how much I learn, or how old I grow, I could never know it all, and I’m always going to want to learn more, and the more I learn, the more I can share with others. Giving the gift of knowledge, is giving a real gift.

In his book, “The Pedagogy of the Oppressed”, Paulo Freire writes: “In fact, those who, in learning to read and write, come to a new awareness of selfhood and begin to look critically at the social situation in which they find themselves, often take the initiative in acting to transform the society that has denied them this opportunity of participation. Education is once again a subversive force.”

So, basically, once we learn, we become aware, once we become aware we start rejecting everything that’s wrong with the social order of things, and then after that we start taking initiative to make changes in our world, and that’s why knowledge is dangerous, and that’s why these pigs here in these prisons try to make it so hard for us to get books and literature in, that’s why they try to keep real radicals separated from one another, keeping us surrounded by crazies who bang and scream all day, making it difficult for us to find a peaceful moment to sit back, read and absorb new knowledge. Because these pigs understand how knowledge gives us new vitality, how it gives us strength and empowerment. They’d rather keep us crushed, dispirited and ignorant. That’s the way they do things.

I’ve come to believe that knowledge gives our lives meaning, because think about it; I mean without knowledge what meaning would our lives have? What would we be without knowledge? What would life be?

There’s nothing like learning something new and then passing it on to someone else. It’s a great feeling. Knowledge is a beautiful, powerful, subversive, dangerous thing! Get some!

August 2009

Several months after this essay was written, the administration moved Coyote to another unit in the hole that houses mostly psych patients who bang and scream all day, and they waited a couple of weeks to watch and see who all Coyote befriended on this new tier and then moved them all to other units in the hole, making sure to keep Coyote isolated. Coyote does not socialize with anybody, anymore, at the moment, but instead he uses this time to reflect, read, write and study. They’ve isolated him indeed, but his mind is still active and explosive and they have not shut him down!

Nothing Can Stop Us Now

From the dark ripples of thought, stem these words of sorrowful wisdom, where pain has turned into strength, and strength has turned into love.

There’s nothing powerful enough to break a heart that beats to the drum of resistance. There’s nothing strong enough to decimate a warrior’s will; a will that cannot be deterred. There’s nothing hard enough that can smash the spirit of a true rebel.

With the wind we ride, our backs against the crushing wave, our determination carries us through, nothing can stop us now. No razorwire can hold us, no concrete or steel. We are one with the strength of a tornado, ripping through the land, nothing can stop us now…

December 2009

Lost at Sea

Here I am again, all alone, the solitary confines on my mind remain largely unknown. Lost on the desolate seas of hopelessness, absently I drift with no awareness of which direction I go. With a pelican’s plumage and a vat of octopus ink, and after turning dried up palm leaves into paper, I sit here and write these words from the greatest depths of loneliness, as I’m faced with the choice of either swimming with sharks, or staying confined to my raft all day…

Anyway, I had a good thing going on the last ship that I was on. I was amongst many fellow pirates, and had good study sessions and plenty of people to talk to, with a multitude of things to talk about. It was a very productive environment, where the treasure chest was full of sparkling gems of knowledge.

But unfortunately, I had to walk the plank, and that’s how I ended up on this lonely raft, lost at sea, you see? Removed from all my fellow pirates, I now sit here, alone with my thoughts.

It’s my fault though, you know? For trying to start a riot. I couldn’t help it though. The swine called one of my fellow pirates a “punk”. Those are words you just don’t use on these treacherous, deadly seas. And everybody knows you don’t use those words. And even though the swine wasn’t addressing me with those derogatories, I felt well enough disrespected to even hear those words slip out of a swine’s filthy mouth, and naturally, I took it as an opportunity to vent out some of my own existing frustrations against my captors. And so, yes I got off, and it felt good to get off. And there were plenty of fellow pirates ready to tear down the ship with me, and it nearly ensued into a larger disruption, until the swine came back, bowed down, and apologized.

But eventually, I was removed from my fellow pirates and forced to walk the plank. And then on my 32nd birthday, December 15th, 2009, the captors came back to my new ship and was sure to remove all of my fellow pirates I had on this ship, some who I haven’t seen for years, and who I was waiting to meet up with again. I guess they thought we were planning some type of mutiny together, or something. So, they made me walk the plank, leaving me isolated on this lonely raft, drifting on these swaying seas of hopelessness. Me, a social butterfly, left with no one to socialize with…

And so, now I use this time of solitude to write, read and reflect. Never letting the waves of despair crush me, or take me under. And now that I have no one to talk to, I hear myself having long, drawn out conversations with myself, in my own mind. In my head, I mean. I wonder if I should worry? I don’t know? But at least I’m not talking to myself out loud. I guess if I do that, that’s when I should start to worry. But then again, a lot of people talk to themselves, and they say it’s normal. But maybe they’re just in denial. Maybe that’s just the way they rationalize and justify the fact that they’re losing their minds. Or maybe I’m the one in denial, projecting my delusion on them, trying to rationalize it by saying, “well at least I don’t talk to myself out loud, like others do”. Am I losing my mind, or am I doing everything I can to preserve my sanity? That’s the question.

Well, I’ll be damned! It appears that I’ve landed ashore a deserted island! And there’s even a coconut tree! So it looks like I’m gonna make it, as I realize that carrying on these conversations in my head is actually a good thing, ‘cuz it lets me know that my mind is working, it’s active and flowing. So that’s good. These are just the workings of a productive mind. There’s no problem, I’m gonna be alright. All I need now is a volley ball with a hand print on it, and I’ll make it through this journey. Wilson, where are you? Wilson!

No more am I lost at sea, my mind is active, so I am free. Creativity. Productivity. These are the signs of a healthy mind. I look up at the twilight, and let the North Star guide me. I’ve found my way back home. I have direction, I have purpose and my sails are up and blowing, I’m on my way back home. My loneliness has strengthened me, and fortitude has once again carried me through. My sails are high and mighty, my spirits are too. I’m gonna be alright, I’m gonna make it through. I’m on my way back home…

The ocean is my only higher power. I was born and raised on the beach, saltwater runs through my veins. I’ve found my way back to shore, and that’s where I’m going, for sure! Thank you, Dear Ocean, for your guidance and strength. I am forever grateful and always in awe of your greatness.

December 24th, 2009

Knowing Thyself

“The more we sweat in training, the less we bleed in battle.” From this (super) maximum security cell it has become nearly impossible for me to pin down the name of the author who coined that phrase, but I recognize that this is a saying that I deeply resonate with. It’s very inspiring. Not only does it make me want to get down and do some “burpies”, but it also makes me want to get ready to face battle, ready for confrontation, ready for life.

There are many different kinds of battles in life. We battle to stay healthy, to stay sane, sober, to keep food on the table; to keep a roof over our heads, you name it. In these prisons and in these cells of isolation, we face battles nearly every day and for some of us, it’s these battles that help shape us into revolutionaries. We purge our fears and become guerrillas. We are engaged in a constant psychological battle; fighting off the long-term effects of sensory deprivation from being indeterminately isolated, while also fighting to maintain a sense of who we are and to keep a level of sanity as we are faced with constant madness and absurdity every day, trying to stay focused on greater goals!

Rather than just sitting here and eroding into the dust of nothingness, many of us use this time to train and prepare for the battles that await us – both the unseen and the foreseen – getting ready for whatever life has to throw at us, without fear or hesitation, because we have come to understand how conflict and struggle actually makes us stronger, gives us experience and helps us grow. So, we embrace these challenges, and we know that if everyday is a struggle, then everyday is a chance to gain strength, experience and insight.

For someone to sit in their cell and go on an endless search of truth and knowledge, as they study books and articles on things like philosophy, politics, strategy, psychology, science, religion, history and sociology, while taking a deep and analytical examination at their own life (past, present, future) and at life in general and at the universe, trying to figure things out for themselves, trying to find their place in this irrational universe and trying to know themselves; it’s definitely one of the realest things a person can do while being held as a prisoner in one of these cells.

A person who knows theirself is a real person. Having true knowledge of self is what distinguishes the real from the fake, and the determined souls from those who are just lost in the sauce, like dead fish: just going with the flow.

When we stop learning we stop growing and we stop living. We become stagnant, complacent and dead inside. Life becomes meaningless and mundane, and the mind goes blank and gets fuzzy, like static on a television screen.

So it’s important for our survival that we keep searching, keep training, keep learning, keep growing, keep living. Life is a beautiful thing, and the more we understand about ourselves and about life and the universe, the more we will appreciate, respect and enjoy life.

With a heart that’s solid and stout
And from someone who’s real,
October 15th, 2009

Here’s a quote that I would like to share with you:

“However, the oppressed, who have adapted to the structure of domination in which they are immersed, and have become resigned to it, are inhibited from waging the struggle for freedom, so long as they feel incapable of running the risks it requires. Moreover, their struggle for freedom threatens not only the oppressor, but also their own oppressed comrades who are fearful of still greater repression. When they discover within themselves the yearning to be free, they perceive that this yearning can be transformed into reality only when the same yearning is aroused in their comrades. But while dominated by the fear of freedom, they refuse to appeal to others, or listen to the appeal of others, or even the appeals of their own conscience. They prefer gregariousness to authentic comradeship; they prefer the security of conformity with their state of unfreedom to the creative communion produced by freedom and even the very pursuit of freedom.”

From the book “The Pedagogy of the Oppressed”
By Paulo Freire

Monday, September 13, 2010

A Message to the Young Soldiers

A message to the young soldiers trying to maintain their existence in these dungeons:

Keep it real, not because the realness in you and the realness in all that you do will certainly shine through and will be embraced, felt and recognized by all that's true and will come back and shine on you in a good light - which is all true - but be real, because that's who and what you are and because that's the only way to be!

Be true to yourself and to all those who are true to you. Keep your head on straight, listen and learn. Soak up knowledge, try to apply it when you can, and
always strive to heighten your awareness on all things significant. Keep that love for life beating strongly in your unbreakable heart and always strive to reach greater heights.

Purge fear and embrace experience, because it's through our experiences in life that we gain insight. Learn from your mistakes, and most importantly, from the mistakes of others. Cultivate yourself by recognizing your flaws and striving to turn them into strengths, and by rooting out your insecurities. Stay sharp like the razor-wire that contains you; like a samurai's sword. Remember that everything isn't always what it appears to be (actions speak louder than words), so be an avid seeker of truth and consciousness. Be open, but reserved. Be ready, but restrained. Be observant, but silent (loose lips sink ships). Don't whine, cry or complain about your unfortunate situations, but have fortitude instead. Be considerate. Be mindful. Always be respectful of the comrades who have been putting it down way before you ever came on to the scene.

Stay focused, goal orientated and be bold (but not stupid). Keep your heart set on trueness, and your mind on things that are realistic and on things that matter. Use this time as an opportunity to grow and learn. Come to know yourself, your enemy, pain, struggle, love and hate and learn from all these things.
Life is real, never forget that!

But the most important message I want to tell you is this:
When you can find self-gratification and satisfaction in your own achievements and within yourself, you don't need to look for it in others. You don't need other people to assure you that you're hard, or that you're real, or any of that. You have
to set standards for yourself and try to achieve them (whether you fail or succeed, the only person who needs to know, is you), never being satisfied, always raising the bar higher and higher. That's how you grow, excel and become stronger and more self-aware. If you're just doing shit to show others what you're made of, then you're not real homie.

Until it's time to step onto "the battlefield', the only person who needs to know that you're a "H.C.M.F." (Hard Core Mutha Fucka!) is you!!!

Solidarity and respects,

Monday, August 23, 2010

In This Wretched World

In this wretched world of darkness and despair it's the codes that we live by that separate the real from the fake, and it's the actions we carry out and the good deeds we do that define us and solidify our respect to that code.

Those who work against us and against the solidarity of what we believe, especially when working in cooperation with those who keep us captive and oppressed, are not only considered to be fakes, but are also counter-productive to the survival of our comradery and are therefore unworthy of our recognition.

"Solidarity", not only the word, but also the idea is nothing but a dwindling memory of something that used to be, once upon a time, long ago. And we who hold on so tightly to the integrity of what once was, are of a dying breed. In this wretched world of foulness and deterioration we will surely find ourselves outnumbered and surrounded and persecuted by the foul and the fake, and because we hold on so vigorously to what we believe, taking direct action against all that is counterproductive and detrimental to the realness of our lives, we will do most of our time on "lock down", enduring all kinds of torment, suffer and psychological oppression, striving daily to be strong enough to prevail and overcome these potentially drastic circumstances. Because we hold on so firmly to the codes we live by and to what we feel and know to be real to us, we will have to learn the ways of fortitude in order to survive loneliness and long hours of isolation and solitary confinement.

And it is in these hours of confinement that we must use this time to study, learn, cultivate and know ourselves. True soldiers, under these circumstances, always find ways to take this time in solitary and treat it as an opportunity to educate and elevate themselves, and to keep their bodies combat-ready and their minds as sharp as hatori hanzo swords. It is known, without saying, that this time on "lock down", is the time and place to get our minds right and our game tight.

And that's exactly why you will always find me reaching out to a real soldier, passing him literature of his desire, which without a doubt beholds real gems of truth and knowledge so that he can use it to cultivate himself and take his growth and development to higher realms of thought and action. This is one of the many things that I do to keep the level of consciousness raised around here, because conscious people are real people, and do real things, and because I've found in my own life and experiences that consciousness is a savior. And passing out literature to all these different comrades also preserves the integrity and the realness of the codes and the principles we live by.

It's deeper than that though; it's an act of love and an act of solidarity. We are being buried alive in these graveyards, drowning in pools of stagnation and filth. Minds are wasting away in these hellholes, our lives are considered to be worthless to the majority of the people in society. Nobody cares about us, and so sometimes we find it hard to even care about ourselves.

So therefore, I will do what I can to improve the quality of life amongst my peers. We are basically all in the same situation. But some of us are surviving, and others are breaking weak and falling off and have gotten to the point of no return. So I've definitely got some good literature to pass out and some real conversation for a person in here who keeps the joy for life beating strongly inside of their determined hearts.

With the help of a couple of beautiful and compassionate friends on the outs, I have been able to accumulate boxes and boxes of good, insightful and empowering literature on almost all and any subject, and for all kinds of different people in here. My good, loyal friends on the outs have made copies for me of all these different materials and mailed them back in to me so that I can pass copies of all this literature out to all who crave this knowledge and to those who appreciate these gems being handed to them. When I see that someone appreciates the love I've dropped on them, I'll recognize it for what it's. worth and I'll keep dropping love on them.

In this wretched world of perversion and predation we've got to rise above the madness, look out for each other and be real with each other, working together to overcome the daily destruction and oppression. These are real struggles and we've got to stick together through hard times, real recognizing real and steel sharpening steel. We've got to become more organized and dedicated to taking control of our own lives and finding positive solutions to deal with the negative aspects of our everyday realities. We've got to strive for bigger and better things. It's about solidarity. It's about love. It's about respect for the integrity of what's real, in regards to the survival of our existence, in this cold, lonely, wretched world...

With revolutionary love,
Coyote ABC-Nevada Prison Chapter
Sept. 15th, 2009

quote: "The radical, committed to human liberation, does not become the prisoner of a "circle of certainty" within which reality is imprisoned. On the contrary, the more radical the person is, the more fully he or she enters into reality so that, knowing it better, he or she can better transform it.

This individual is not afraid to confront, to listen, to see the world unveiled. This person is not afraid to meet the people or to enter into dialogue with them. This person does not consider himself or herself the proprietor of history or of all people, or the liberator of the oppressed; but he or she does commit himself or herself, within history, to fight at their side."

Paulo Freire, from his book: "The pedagogy of the oppressed"

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

It Ain't Real No More, Homie

Nothing will change without bloodshed and sacrifices. We sit here wasting away in this wasteland, wondering how things got so bad, but nobody thinks about what we can do to make things better. It's easy to put all the blame on the system and the pigs, but nobody wants to recognize their own role in this struggle, nobody wants to acknowledge that they are actually participating in this destruction, nobody wants to admit that they are actually contributing to the daily deterioration. I don't see nobody standing up for what they have coming (their rights to be treated as a human being, with dignity, respect, fairness, justice, etc.), I don't see anybody standing up for anything on a conscious or collective level. But I hear everybody always complaining about all the foulness that constantly goes on around here.

There are no George Jacksons around here, no Che Guevaras, no Bobby Sands around here. Everything I see out here in Nevada is fake, sorry and weak. Nobody wants to ride for a real cause, nobody wants to put their lives on the line or risk catching more time for this fakeness around here. Everybody wants to be a "gangster" but nobody wants to live by those codes, everybody wants to be "real" but they let fake and foul cats kick it, embracing these dudes knowing they're no good and that they're counter~productive to all that we are supposed to consider righteous and real.

Nobody wants to clean nothing up, taking care of the biz that needs to be taken care of. Nobody wants to fight the real fight, come together and take it to the real enemy. Everybody has all the excuses in the world, all the justifications for doing what they know in their hearts they ain't supposed to be doing and then they want to go around trying to convince everybody that they're real. Come on, man. Ain't nothing real about none of this crap around here. Ain't nobody dying for this, ain't nobody in here killing for this, catching cases, making sacrifices, trying to push the envelope to make this better for "you and yours", to preserve what's real and reject all that's not; the things that are hurting us and destroying us every day.

Things are foul 'cuz we let it be foul. So if you let it get like this - or if you let it stay like this - then don't complain about it, nobody respects that. The only thing people respect is action and the only thing that's gonna change this is struggle and sacrifice, and people have to be wholeheartedly committed to seeking realistic solutions, going all the way, until we've got it right!
And so, until all of the so~called "real mothafuckas" start learning what "real" reallymeans, without trying to justify the bullshit, this is always gonna be sorry and weak, and all that you see, and everything you say you stand for is gonna be fake, until you start getting real for reals. Things won't change if we sit back and do nothing. The oppression is real, the deterioration is real, the destruction and suffering and the atrocity are all real, but our response to it isn't, our dedication and determination to changing it, is not real!!

Everybody needs to get their heads out their asses and get their priorities straight before we can do anything about this. We need to organize ourselves and our people (and each other) under real principles and do all that we can to uphold those principles to the fullest and with integrity. We need to uplift ourselves and others, school our younger comrades on some real concepts, educate our comrades, give them a revolutionary understanding too.

Show then how this is supposed to be, how things are supposed to be, how things are supposed to go down, lead by example and teach through actions, strive for real changes to make the quality of life better for "you and yours", try to change the conditions of our confinement, bring our people out of their self, destructive and counter-productive mentalities and work to replace that with knowledge, understanding and amelioration. We need to stand up for what we have coming, for what's right, respectable and real, not setting for no bullshit, and not letting our comrades get away with no bullshit, we have to be seriously committed in breaking them out of those weak, counter-productive mentalities, and we have to do what we can to help them help themselves.
Until we are ready to make real sacrifices, this will continue to be foul and it will keep getting worse. How can we call ourselves real when we're allowing ourselves to live under all of this fakeness, accepting this foulness, man? There's nothing real about this. That's why I'm writing this piece, this is a wake' up call! We need to wake up and get real.

Let's strive for consciousness and truthful understanding, let's take action and be committed to bringing significance and meaning to our lives. Let's destroy all this old, watered down, weak stuff that we've been holding on to for so long, and that we thought was real and let's build on top of a solid foundation and let's organize around the fundamentals and principles of truth and betterment, full speed ahead with a revolutionary understanding, and let's not falter from what we know is right. It's gonna take a real level of struggle and sacrifice, doing whatever it takes as we strive for freedom, justice, respect and to be treated like we actually matter. This is about taking control of our own lives!

If you're reading this and you're feeling this, then get with the program. Don't just sit back and say "Yeah, that's real talk man, I feel that." If you feel it, do it! Take direct action, take up this cause, start up your own cause, take up the struggle and organize people around this realness. Get it cracking, don't wait for others to do it, but you must be the force that's needed, the spark that ignites the fire as you try to burn this mothafucka down! Get it cracking, don't wait comrade, do it now!!!

I'm just touching the surface, but everybody knows what I'm talking about. Everybody knows this ain't real no more. So now it's time to get real, it's time to get it cracking on a serious note!

Coyote, 2010 Anarchist Black Cross Nevada Prison Chapter

Quote: "Organizing and teaching are the same. They both involve the question of how people learn things. They both involved dialogue. They both involve long-term commitment and perspective. They both involve people in changing their lives. And the teacher/organizer is always learning. " Mark Rudd, from his interview in Z Magazine, by Bill Nevins, entitled: "Fortunate Rebel Son"


As I sit back, reflect and let my thoughts flow, many things percolate to my mind's cortical surface, keeping me attentively entertained and intellectually stimulated. In these locked down situations, it's absolutely imperative for me to take the necessary measures to keep my mind right, because I've learned - through trial and error - that when I'm unable to stay focused on positive and productive activities, I'm most likely to get caught up in negative and unproductive and sometimes even counterproductive activities. When that happens, I'm not surviving, but rather I'm slipping, letting myself get took under by the merciless current of self~destruction.

So, I'm just sitting here thinking, letting my thoughts be fluent and making sure to stay acutely focused on the things that pertain to my day~to~day survival, trying to get through this daily psychological Vietnam, trying to ameliorate myself. Some people like to still their minds, but me, I like to keep my mind active and constantly flowing.

One of the things that grabbed a "kung fu death grip" hold on my attention today was a quote that I read by Napoleon Bonaparte that goes like this: "DEATH IS NOTHING, BUT TO LIVE DEFEATED IS TO DIE EVERYDAY".

Those are words that I resonate with. Tome, that means that once you die, that's it, it's over, ya estuvo, your life becomes nothing. You're gone, you've faded to black. So while you're alive, you might as well take care of what you need to take care of, be real with your comrades and loved ones and try to enjoy life and appreciate the time you have.

But if you're living like a defeated person, then you're not living; you're already dead and every day that you wake up, you die again.

I would rather die once than to die every day. I'd rather die now, than to live the rest of my life waking up already dead. I would rather die than live as a defeated man.

Death is nothing, we all die, in fact, the only thing promised to us in life is death. So we might as well accept it, face it, embrace it and know that we can't cheat it. I believe that with this acceptance and understanding, we are able to live our lives out more fully, having no fear and illusions.

So I try to live with the understanding that as long as my tenable and tenacious heart thumps passionately with furious resistance and undying love, then I haven't been defeated. Because as long as I can find one thing in this world that I can love and appreciate, and as long as I have something that my heart beats for, while I remain unwilling to allow myself to be consumed by hate, then I've remained unconquerable.

I'm trying to keep life and love flowing through my arteries, I'm trying to appreciate the time I have, the breath I breathe and the life I live, and I'm trying to enjoy it. As long as I'm living by the principles that I'm willing to die for, without compromise or sacrifice, then I haven't been defeated. I believe that when you value your way of life and the friendships you've made, so much, that you feel those things are worth dying for; you're living your life to the fullest! Because I believe that having nothing to die for is having nothing to live for.

Even under these inhumane conditions I'm able to recognize, acknowledge and find beauty in life, making it a penetrating point to keep a strong sense of self and of life flowing through my veins. These are the things that keep me grounded, and these are the things that I keep in my heart, vibrating, pulsating, thumping to the rhythmic beat of life, while having to overcome struggles and heartbreaks only to come out stronger, wiser and more refined, and then trying to use that same strength and wisdom to assist others in their times of hardship, pain and struggle.

And of course there are many things about this life and this place that I hate, but I allow my hate to exist and to live, because sometimes it's good and sometimes it's necessary, and because all of my emotions are an extension of me, but I make sure to keep it minimized.

Lately, I've been doing a couple of things to try to better myself and to stay active. One of the things I do is something that I call "PUSH~ UPS AND PARAGRAPHS", and the other thing that I'm constantly doing are logic puzzles.

Push~ups and paragraphs: Basically, what I do is I'll find an article to read (something educational), and after I finish reading a paragraph I'll get down and do (10) ten push~ups. And I will continue to do (10) ten push~ups after each and every paragraph I read, until I've finished reading the entire article. When I'm done, the count usually comes out to about a total of 500~600 push~ups. I'll do this every day, sometimes reading the same articles over and over again each day, which helps me to retain knowledge, and sometimes reading a different article each day. It's just a way for me to cultivate myself by exercising both my mind and my body at the same time, and it's also a way for me to be productive and appreciative of the time I have in this world, not letting myself be defeated by my circumstances.

As far as the logic puzzles go, Dell puts out a magazine that you can subscribe to called: "Logic Lover's Logic Problems" (have your people subscribe you to these logic puzzle magazines: "pennydellpuzzles.com"). There are over 100 puzzles in each magazine, so if you do (1) one puzzle every day, then you're exercising your brain every day for 100 days. I have to do at least one every day, mandatory, but I usually do 2 or 3 a day. It's one of the best ways that someone in solitary can strengthen their brain! It's like playing chess with yourself, but better! Your brain is like a muscle, and the more you exercise it, the stronger it becomes. Logic puzzles are like bench presses for the brain. It causes you to think and to figure things out, using deductive reasoning, and most of all it open the floodgates of your brain, allowing you to be more logical and sharp in all areas of your life. It's definitely an LQ. booster and it allows your mind to be active and to flow! It's definitely a healthy way to spend an hour or two of your day while locked down in a cell, because not only does it keep you from deteriorating mentally, but it keeps you sharp, like a razor's edge! And if you're staying sharp under these dull circumstances, then you're definitely winning, not allowing yourself to be taken under or defeated! So those are just 2 of the things I've been doing lately to stay afloat and to keep my sword sharpened.

Here's another Napoleon quote that I resonate with: "A TREE WITH NO BRANCHES BEARS NO FRUIT"

I like that because I'm definitely trying to branch out and be fruitful. That's what life's about to me: branching out, bearing fruit, making meaningful connections and truthful connections, never having superficial friendships, each one teach one, steel sharpening steel, being real and staying true while getting involved in various endeavors that are sure to produce good results.

The more branches on your tree, the more fruit, and everybody can come to my tree and eat from it, we can have picnics under my tree, people can sit under my tree and duck down in the shade for a while, relaxing and letting their minds be fluent and free. They can climb up my tree, swing from the branches, all that. My tree is the tree of knowledge, the tree of life.

Currently, I might be locked down, in supermaximum custody, and all strained up on HIGH RISK POTENTIAL status, going through all kinds of harassment and all that, but it doesn't even matter, because in the far reaches of my minds imagination, I'm sitting under a tree, somewhere near the sea, smoking on a fat one, some of that good, top shelf, "Pineapple Trainwreck" bud, munching on a juicy nectarine that I just pulled off of one of my branches, sitting in the relaxing shade, with the cool ocean breeze blowing on my face, just getting high on life!

In my heart and in my mind, I know I've got to stay productive, I've got to stay active, letting the liquid thoughts of my mind forever flow and always striving to better myself and others, spreading my dexterous branches, participating in fruit~bearing activities, not fearing death, but loving life, and living it. It's all about amelioration! Look that word up in your dictionary, add it to your vocabulary and apply it in your everyday life: amelioration. It's a beautiful word when applied.

And these words are written, from the pain that turned to love, and it's that same love that I now give to you as a gift from my heart. I close as I opened: with all my love!

Coyote, Ely State Prison November 5th, 2009

Drop me a line or two, show me some love, give me some words of encouragement. I'm not allowed to receive letters from other prisoners, but I'd like to hear from everybody, everywhere. You can reach me at this address: Coyote Sheff #55671 P.O. Box 1989 Ely, Nevada 89301-1989

Keep the Struggle Up

We have been slammed down, oppressed and confined to these prisons, ghettos and graveyards. Our stories and our lessons are manicured by the epidemics of pain, poverty, discrimination and struggle. We get poorer and the rich get richer as the story goes. There's no justice, no rehabilitation, no freedom. We are taken to court on trumped up, bogus shit, given 20 charges for one incident, bullied into taking a 'deal', and then we are appointed a public defender 'cuz we don't have the money to acquire a more sufficient attorney, and one year the person who is supposed to be representing us is a public defender, and then the next year that same person is a district attorney! So how could we really trust these people? How could we trust them with our lives? How could we be so willing to put our freedom in their hands?

It doesn't make sense to repetitively place our lives and our freedom into the malefic hands of people who actually despise us. Will there ever come a time when we can start taking control of our own lives? When we can stop depending on the same people that oppress us, to help us? Is there any legitimate, respectable way to get ourselves out of the deleterious grips of this death machine? Is there any way to end these sentences of perpetual suffering? All the questions that come to me while I marinate in this lonely world of darkness, reflecting on the many sorrows I've seen. So many questions, but hardly enough answers.

The frustration leads me to sit up on my bunk and start strategizing on different ways that I can possibly try to encourage my comrades in here to start taking the initiative to study and learn the law. I have a Xerox copy of Mumia Abu Jamal's new book, Jailhouse Lawyers and I pass it out to others, trying to use it as a tool to inspire prisoners to learn how to become attorneys for the poor and oppressed. I sit here and wonder, "What else can I do? What clever ways are there to inspire people to study, to get them to learn?". Wouldn't it be great if we could become our own attorneys, or would it even matter?

I've held study groups and had many one-on-one study sessions with comrades in here, where we've sat around for hours talking and debating, searching for tangible ways to represent ourselves and to learn how to bring ourselves out of this state of oppression, and to eliminate oppression and poverty altogether. To break through the barriers, to rise above the tragedies. Right now it's just talk, but later who knows what it will be? Everything starts in the mind, one things leads to another.

In this graveyard, it's so hard to get books sent in and literature, because the administration has deliberately set so many obstacles and put so many restrictions and limits on things when it comes to receiving books that so many people in here have become discouraged and ended up giving up on trying to get books sent in. But I've been on an adamant missions for years to acquire all the literature I can get sent in to me, and to pass it out to as many people as I can, trying to turn this graveyard into a revolutionary university, so people in here can take all this time they have on their hands and use it to elevate their minds, reaching for higher degrees of learning, finding liberation through books. I love to be involved in all of these various acts of raising consciousness, I feel it's so necessary in these times and situations. Not to mention that I've seen the lengths these pigs will go to make sure they're keeping us confined to ignorance and stagnation. Books and reading materials are so important for us here, we who dwell in this gloomy world of degeneration.

I pass out literature on philosophy, politics, psychology, science, spirituality and I'm always passing out revolutionary materials too, and whatever else I can get, having study sessions when I can, discussing things with my neighbors for long hours into the night, all the way until my breakfast tray arrives, and sometimes, if the conversation is really good, I'll eat and talk at the same time, every once in a while setting the tray down to pick up a book, or an article, so that I can read a passage, sentence, or paragraph out loud to my neighbor, to reinforce the stance I'm taking on certain subjects, or to help get my point across more clearly. I love to learn, I love to teach and I love to engage others. I crave the intellectual stimulation, and I can tell they crave it too.

We are here, confined to these cells, but we've found ways to communicate and express ourselves, to soak up knowledge and pass it on to others who we've deemed worthy of receiving such valuable gems. It's miserable and depressing in here, so much atrocity and deterioration, but we've found ways to make the best out of a bad situation. We understand that we should never just lay down and accept this. We understand that we have to keep the spirit of resistance going strong inside of us, seeking solutions, striving for freedom, making sacrifices when the situation requires us to do so, and never giving up, never breaking down. Everybody that I consider a comrade understands this, and with this understanding we try to reach those that don't understand, but who really need to understand. With understanding things are made clear, and when that happens, change happens.

You'll find some of the most brilliant, most creative, most intelligent, most resourceful and most innovative individuals right here, confined to these hellholes. That's what happens when we have all this time on our hands, with the fire of resistance burning in our hearts. We've been discarded by society and caged like animals, left to rot and decay, to deteriorate and fade away into a black abyss, to disintegrate into tiny fragments of nothingness. But we are here, alive and fighting to maintain our existence, going strong, with love beating in our chests. Revolutionary love. We keep that warrior spirit alive, and these pigs fear it, they hate it, and they envy it and that's why they're always trying everything they can to try to crush it, break it, tame it and destroy it, but no matter how hard they try, or what they do, there's not much they can do to take that away from us.

Books and knowledge give us breath, it pumps life into our veins and activate our brains. With knowledge we are invigorated, rejuvenated and made worthy. Knowledge gets us going, knowledge is what sets us free. We use these books to quench our thirst and to feed our hunger.

Through these trials and painful situations I've come to learn the lessons of struggle and the importance of a revolutionary, underground education. I've learned how vital it is to my survival to be able to keep the fire of resistance burning in my heart. I've come to learn about sacrifice, solidarity and fortitude. I've got little baby cousins, nephews and nieces that I haven't even met yet, I've fucked off my release date many times already, catching more time on my prison sentence for taking stands against these pigs and their injustices done to us. It's hard for me to turn my back on the struggle. I've recently participated in a brutal riot here on my unit and I've got 2 years left before I go home, and now I've getting letters from my moms and my brother, asking me what the hell am I doing, don't I want to come home? They've made sacrifices for me, to help get me out of here, spending money on attorneys for me and everything, and yet I'm still in here caught up in the struggle and I'm conflicted, I want to go home, but I just can't sit back as my fellow comrades stand up and make sacrifices to make important changes for everybody else. My family doesn't understand my commitment to the struggle and it breaks my heart just as I know it breaks their heart to watch me do things that will jeopardize my release date.

But now I realize that the struggle is going to continue whether I'm in here or out there, and after all that I've been through and all that I've done, I am so lucky to still have the chance to get out of here. And now it's time to go home. It's for me to get out of here and do this from the other side of the razor wire.

I'm gonna do what I can to plant seeds and raise awareness while I´m still here because it´s impossible to overlook all the atrocity that's going on around me every day. I see all these youngsters coming to prison now, little dudes as young as 14 years old! There's no true leadership or anything meaningful in here for them to latch onto and it kills me. I see all the fakeness and foulness around here, and I'm always railing against it, trying to raise consciousness to these real issues we're faced with. The mentality of some of these cats around here is hard for me to grasp and seems "suspect" in my eyes. The way they think, the way they act, I'm not feeling it. If you're not striving for change or seeking solutions, or trying to elevate yourself,. then what are you doing?

All I can say is that I got love for the real cats in here, I feel for them, especially the ones that have to stay here, I feel for them and will always keep them in my heart, recognizing them as kindred spirits.

I've done all can to stock up all the comrades in here with good literature and to raise consciousness around here. I've been going at it so hard that I ended up losing 2. good friends out there who acted as my main benefactors: Gina and Katy. They couldn't do it anymore, couldn't afford to keep making copies of books and literature for me, they couldn't afford to keep buying books for my comrades in here, and it got to the point where they would dread getting a letter from me because I was always asking them to support me with this project or that project, on a mission to try to flood this prison with as much literature and educational materials as I can. They just couldn't do it anymore. I feel bad that I won´t be receiving letters from these beautiful, compassionate warrioresses anymore, I feel bad that I've become so obsessed with my mission to raise awareness that I failed to take into consideration their needs and limitations. I really miss them.

So as one- door closes, I guess it´s time to look on to new things and start focusing on my release date. I have to figure what I'm gonna do when I get out of here, how can I keep the struggle up from the other side of the fence, and things like that. I don't have no plans on getting rich or anything like that, I don't care about none of that. I´ve been in solitary long enough to know that I don't need lots of money to survive, so that's one lesson I´ll be taking to the streets. I just want to be real and live right, helping when I can. I have a lot to figure out and a lot to think about, 2 years to go, so close, yet so far away…

Until then, I will continue writing these essays, articles and zines, and things like that. This is my contribution to the struggle., I'm gonna let people know what's going on, what we´re going through in these hellholes, I'm gonna keep spreading the truth whether these pigs like it or not, because the truth is dangerous! The truth is revolutionary! The revolution starts in our minds, so let's get free, one mind at a time! My love goes out to all the people out there who have committed themselves to our struggles in here. Keep doing what you do, keep the struggle alive, keep it up.

If you want to be hard, you gotta go hard!

Coyote, 2010

Quote: "Our expressive powers were strong and vibrant. if this could be nurtured, if the language skills could be developed on top of this, we could learn to break through any communication barrier. We needed to obtain victories in language built on infrastructure of self-worth.”
Luis Rodriguez (from his book: Always Running: La Vida Loca, Gang Days in L.A.) Good book, read it!